Do you want to become successful? marry

"Marry time for you to" - taking his eyes away and down, tell you mom. Some people believe that by entering into a marriage, if you magically get rid of many problems that hinder a decisive step forward, and (finally!) To heal the real thing.

In the era of the Soviet beingness man was psychologically easier, I suppose. A moment between past and future, called the life flowing through the well-known phased scheme: kindergarten, school, the army, marriage - then I will not go, I think you get the idea. If the average young man, after finishing school, was considered like an adult, the "real man" he became only after shaking his leg wrappings and gather a complete set of wishes in dembelsky album. And then it's time to get married. As the leader of the group sings "Pilot" Ilya Hell, "people are usually good luck with a good wife."

Today I invite you to reflect a little on the subject of whether the marriage affects, in particular one in which the couple are happy together a long time, the success of life in general, and to understand what relationship may exist between a homey feel and production exploits.

About business, conscientious spouses and war of the sexes

In any business, small things can not be. A successful entrepreneur must take into account everything, no matter what field or belonged to his case, for it is the price of success. Happy family life, perhaps, a good half of it. Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis establishedThat people who are in marital relations with prudent and reliable partners, socially active, often have a higher income and more satisfied with their way of earning a living.

This rule equally applies to both men and women. Respect for the partners to each other brings them satisfaction on the job and a steady income as a result of the efforts made in the right direction. And this means that confidence in the future of such pairs is present.

According to scientists of the aforementioned university, "consciousness" of people in the relationship is likely to maintaining an atmosphere of calm and comfort - a sure sign that family life failed.

It is not for nothing that they say: "For him - like a stone wall" or "Wife - reliable rear." I am sure that the statements of these have taken root in our speech is not accidental.

Men of science are convinced that innate personal characteristics of the partners, married, can affect important aspects of the professional activity of each of them.

Simply put, a spouse, you can rely on, unwittingly it provides an example to follow, thereby enabling you to become a little better. Cool, is not it?

Nevertheless, the passions around the issue, whose role in the family is more important, not abated ever, being a favorite subject for debate of people of different vocations in life. Widely publicized, for example, received a "collision" by American author and publisher Michael Noer (Michael Noer) with journalist Elizabeth Corcoran (Elizabeth Corcoran), occurred on the basis of discussions about all of the same grade of married (not to be confused with loyalty).

And it was so. In already distant August 2006 Noer, now editor of Forbes news tapes, published an article with the provocative title "Do not marry a career woman». His skit writer started in familiarly, referring to the men with the board:

For many, probably, this statement is true. Extensive and radiates calm woman, faithful to the ideals of the family first of all, find time for everything. They - organized by the nature of the people.

And that's what he thinks about his wife Jeff Hayden (Jeff Hayden), a contributing editor of the portal Inc. Magazine: «Without a doubt, my wife - the most organized person I know. She's a real keeper of hearth and brilliantly cope with their responsibilities. But at the same time it did not interfere with her well-versed in several professional fields and to be a man with a wide range of interests. At first, her superconscious attitude to many things on my nerves, but at some point I I realized that this is because of its pro-active attitude as it defies my innate laziness. "

It turns out that it is not necessary to engage in some women only household chores, to inspire a man by his example. If you meditate purely logically, marriage - a solid compromise. And a huge responsibility for the people sharing with you shelter. And therefore that any man should?

That's right: make the woman next to him did not feel a lack of confidence both in him and in the future. To the way it was in fact, a man must first be healthy. Both physically and mentally.

What about all this supruzhnitsa think for themselves? Let's go back to that same article, which has put minded men and women of our on opposite sides of the world. A return volley towards Noer was the publication of Corcoran. Released on the protection of all women in the world an article called, "Do not marry a lazy".

It seems to me, many have guessed, from what words began its public dialogue with peers perturbed Elizabeth:

What do you think about this?

If we talk about mutual respect for the spouses, certain consciousness, it must be shown just the same at home, in the daily little things that make up our lives. Many of my friends in age from 26 to 35 years, married for several years. Almost (forced to admit: almost) all of them manage to maintain a healthy balance between work, home and "Garage" gatherings, as they say, a little blood, that is going to compromise with his second half.

These guys are attentive to the desires of chosen ones often to the detriment, as it may seem, his own. But married people their valuables, which I still, alas, does not understand. I think that helping their wives with the housework and coping with washing socks on their own, they bring order to their lives. Even if it is not all the work that usually has to do on the farm, but their friends, returning home each evening to relax.

The same guys basically are in a buoyant mood, happy with new profitable contracts signed in the service, and regularly go for a vacation with their families outside our Motherland. I think the secret of their success lies not only in the same untroubled karma. Couples, based relationships that promote respect and mutual desire to make the life of a loved one a little easier, admired by others.

In addition, the partners really have an impact on the characters to each other. Jim Rohn (Jim Rohn), an American speaker and author of numerous books on psychology, thought:

Each person is a set of characteristics of five people with whom he spends most of his time.

In fact, Jim's words, which were called the leading philosopher in business, do not cause this much of a surprise, because we know a simpler formulation of this idea: "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you".

From a sociological perspective view of marriage, everything seems to be clear. And now again turn to scientific data.

About the life before and life after

Of course, we are referring to marriage, not a theory of the transmigration of souls. Doctor Thomas Lee (Thomas Lee) from the University of Utah is a recognized expert in the development of relations. In one of his publications on this theme, he identified the main factors that affect the successful sexual relationship long before bonding union vows.

Let's look at them more closely.

1. marriage of parents. If the parents of the people who are in a relationship to be happy in a marriage, it is likely that the couple were married, and the union will be strong. Naturally, those whose parents have gone through a divorce, too, it is able to create a strong family. However, following these dry statistics, we can conclude that the preponderance on the side of the partners, "the elderly" which together to this day.
2. Happy childhood. Those who have had a "normal" childhood, often carries with a happy marriage.
3. duration love. In general, the longer the people know each other, the more they have a chance of successfully married. It is impossible not to agree with this statement: still on the to check the fortress of their feelings and reliable partner in life, it takes time. In rare cases, people meet and run to the registrar within three months. But if you run, you obviously know, someone looking for "long years".
4. Age. As a rule, reshivshiesya to marry in the conscious (read: "after graduation") aged people tend to enter into stronger unions. However, it also happens that over time the desire to marry weakened and eroding. But in general loneliness - a very sad thing.
5. parental approval. It can have a significant impact on the possibility of marriage. On the one hand, if the parents like to elect or chosen one of their offspring, their support is genuine and substantial. On the other hand, in the case when a potential relative did not come to court, you may want to think about what it is afraid of offering experienced people.
6. Pregnancy, which occurred before marriage. Statistics adamant: marriages, prisoners of aerial, in 50% of cases are doomed to destruction for the first five years of marriage.
7. The reasons that marriages. All events that occur in life, there is a reason. Legal relationships are no exception. Marriages, which are a consequence of the healthy desire of the partners to understand and care about each other are more likely than those that were motivated by a different kind: to live in a separate apartment, fight the system or feel "Adult".

P.S. I can only add the following: it so happens that the people coming to any city-mnogomillionnik converge with each other internally - it is cheaper also. Sometimes it can happen and so that after a while, flashing light feeling mutual. Couple marries, flies rest on Bali, we furnish their new home when they return home. And then suddenly... bam! They sit side by side on the couch watching TV and realize that they have nothing to do there, except apartments, taken under a contract of mortgage lending. Life truth.

Actually, this sad story, "Once upon a time so died" gently leads us to get acquainted with other aspects that come into force after the two men exchanged rings with music Mendelssohn.

So. Factors that come into play when people marry:

1. Model relations conditional acceptance in the family. If the partners are used to communicate on an equal footing, to help each other and are more willing to compromise, and the problems in the relationship, most likely, will not.
2. Relatives of the husband or wife. you can communicate with them and should be, especially if they live nearby. Good relations with them can not be overemphasized when the baby appears in the family.
3. Common interests. Couples with similar hobbies tend to tackle together questions of any complexity and to understand each other without words. Here just want to remember the movie "Mr. & Mrs. Smith."
4. The similarity of characters. Contrary to popular belief that opposites attract, really happy in marriage, those who are similar to each other: from the appearance and ending with the manner of laughing at jokes.
5. Children. This factor - a double edged sword. The child can make a happy marriage even happier. However, the children never anyone still did not prevent divorce.
6. communication. Those who are happy together, and usually a lot of long conversations. By the way, they are subtly feel each other and are able to understand a partner at a glance.
7. The role of the family. Typically, this problem does not occur if people approach each other on psycho. They look at a lot of things the same, so initially spared from having something for a long time to explain to one another. On the contrary, if the partners are brought up differently, it will inevitably try to reeducate each other. Remember the song, "all this nonsense", sung by the group "Spleen" back in 1998? She's also relevant.

   Your tears salty, acidic mine, sultry voice -
   All this nonsense.
   I'm dying of boredom when I have someone treats
   I hate it when I have someone ...

   Alexander Vassiliev

8. personality. Without a doubt, it's damn important point is crucial literally every special feature: emotional stability, the ability to self-control, attachment to a partner, responsible to him and also, of course, optimism - all these components of a successful and strong marriage.
9. Religious beliefs. Let this point everyone will think himself, but the logic in this aspect is definitely present.

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Talk about this difficult topic is endless, but finally, I note that marrying for love, people definitely live longer, beginning in earnest to think about their own health. At a minimum, because they want to have children, but it is not always all turns out simply and, as they say, without a hitch.

But let's not talk about sad things. The sun is still shining, the grass is green all the same, and people are still a no-no and even marry, making each other happy. The secret of happiness is simple: to be together in sorrow and joy.

Is not it a success?