10 non-obvious facts about human nature
A Life / / December 19, 2019
1. Our self-image is distorted
It seems as if our inner world is like an open book. One has only to look back, how do you know all about myself, likes and dislikes, hopes and fears - that they, like the palm. Popular, but fundamentally wrong opinion. In fact, our attempts, more or less accurately assess themselves like wandering in a fog.
Psychologist Emily Pronin (Emily Pronin), specializing in the human self-perception and decision-making, callsThe Introspection Illusion and Problems of Free Will, Actor-Observer Differences, and Bias Correction this phenomenon is an illusion of introspection. Our self-image is distorted as a result it does not always coincide with the actions.
For example, you can consider yourself compassionate and generous, but pass by a homeless man in cold weather.
Pronin said that the reason for this distortion is simple: we do not want to be mean, arrogant and hypocritical, therefore, believe that this is not about us. In this case, myself and others, we estimate differently. We are not difficult to notice how biased and unfair to our colleague refers to another person, but we never think about that themselves might well itself novel. We want to be good from the standpoint of morality, so do not think that we can also be biased.
2. The motives of our actions often inexplicable
Exploring the self-perception of a person, it is necessary to pay attention not only to its meaningful answers to questions about themselves, but also on the unconscious tendencies - impulses arising intuitively. For the measurement of inclinations apply testDoes the Implicit Association Test (IAT) Really Measure Racial Prejudice? Probably Not on hidden psychologist Anthony Greenwald Association (Anthony Greenwald).
The test is based on instant response, a no-brainer, so it can reveal the hidden side of the personality. A person needs to carry out the association between words and concepts as quickly as possible by clicking on the button. So you can find out, for example, who considers himself a man: introverted or an extrovert.
Test well hidden association defines anxiety, sociability, impulsiveness - the qualities that are difficult to control. But it does not always work. The test does not measure such traits as honesty and openness to new possibilities. We consciously choose, tell us the truth or lie, seek to raise at work or sit still.
3. Our behavior tells people more than it seems
Our loved ones see us better than ourselves. Psychologist Simin Wazir (Simine Vazire) indicatesOthers Sometimes Know Us Better Than We Know Ourselves two things that help us to quickly get to the core.
Firstly, this behavior. For example, sociable people talk a lot and are looking for a company, and insecure when speaking avert their eyes. Second, many of us can say is strictly positive or negative traits that more than any other influence on our actions. So, the mind and creativity are always considered desirable qualities, and dishonesty and selfishness - is not present.
We can not always control their behavior and reactions, such as facial expression, shifty eyes or gestures. While the other is perfectly visible.
As a result, we often do not notice any impression on others, so you have to rely on the opinions of friends and family.
4. Sometimes you need to let go of the thought to get to know yourself
Keeping a diary, self-reflection, communication with people - known methods of self-knowledge, but they do not always help. Sometimes you need to do exactly the opposite - to let go of thoughts, distancing. conscious meditation It helps to know themselves, breaking the distorted thinking and protecting the ego. It teaches us not to focus on the thoughts and just let them float by without touching us. So you can gain clarity of mind, because thoughts - just a thought, not an absolute truth.
Through this method we can understand our unconscious motivations. Psychologist Oliver Shulteys (Oliver Schultheiss) provedGoal Imagery: Bridging the Gap Between Implicit Motives and Explicit GoalsThat our emotional well-being is improved when the conscious and unconscious motivations coincide. We often set ambitious goals, not knowing whether we need it. For example, we can work hard at a job that brings in money and power, although subconsciously want another.
To understand yourself, you can resort to the imagination. Provide as detailed as possible, what happens if your current dream come true. You will become happier or not? Often we set ourselves very ambitious targets, without taking into account all the steps that need to be done to achieve the desired.
5. We seem to imagine better than it actually is
Familiar with the effect of Dunning - Kruger? That is the essence of it: the less competent people are, the higher their opinion of themselves. It is logical, because we often choose to ignore their own shortcomings.
David Dunning (David Dunning) and Justin Kruger (Justin Kruger) askedChapter five - The Dunning-Kruger Effect: On Being Ignorant of One's Own Ignorance people solve some cognitive tasks and to assess their results. A quarter of the participants failed the task, but greatly exaggerated his abilities.
If we evaluated ourselves realistically, it would have saved us from the extra effort and shame. But it seems that high self-esteem has important advantages.
Psychologists Shelley Taylor (Shelley Taylor) and Jonathan Brown (Jonathon Brown) believePositive Illusions and Well-Being Revisited Separating Fact From FictionThat people who look at the world through rose-colored glasses, emotionally feel much better and more efficient work. On the contrary, too realistic in their self-esteem are mostly people who suffer from depression.
Embellishment abilities helps us not get lost in the ups and downs of everyday life.
6. Whoever torments himself often suffers setbacks
Although most people are too good opinion of himself, some suffer from the opposite distortion: they belittle themselves and their achievements. Most often, a feeling of worthlessness is related to child abuse. As a result of such an attitude leads to mistrust, despair and suicidal thoughts.
It is logical to assume that people with low self-esteem would be pleased to hear in your address words of encouragement. But, as foundFrom 'I Do' to 'Who?' psychologist William Swann (William Swann), diffident want to receive confirmation of their insignificance. Swann studied life in marriage and found that in praise of its second half need those who already have a relationship to itself everything was in order. People with low self-esteem felt fortunate marriage, if the partner is pointed out their shortcomings. In this study, he founded SwannSelf-Verification Theory his theory of self-examination:
We want to see around us as much as we do.
People with low self-esteem sometimes even provoke people to humiliation: intentionally fail to work, specially climb under hot hand. This is not masochism, and the pursuit of harmony, if we see all around such as we think we are, then, the world is all right.
7. We deceive ourselves, and are not aware of this
Our tendency to self-deception comes from a desire to impress others. To sound persuasive at lying, we must be sure of the veracity of his words - first of all we should deceive ourselves.
Many people somehow ashamed his voice and prefer not to hear it on the record. This feature benefitedFlavors of self-deception: Ontology and epidemiology Psychologists Ruben Gur (Ruben Gur) and Harold Sakeym (Harold Sackeim). They conducted an experiment asked subjects to listen to audio from a variety of voices, among which was their own, and to say whether they hear themselves. Recognition varied depending on the clarity of the sound audio and loudness of the background noise. Then the scientists correlated the words of the people with their brains work. Hearing the voice of a man, the brain sends signals "This is me!" Even when study participants did not respond. Moreover, people with low self-esteem are less likely to have guessed his voice in the recording.
We deceive ourselves wanting to look better. When students take a test to determine the level of their knowledge, there is no sense to write off. accuracy of the result is important for them not to miss something in their education. But students do not want to fall, so peep answers or ask for more time.
8. We are confident that our true "I" good
Many people believe that they have a solid inner core - the true "I". It is unchangeable, and it manifested the real moral values. Preferences may change, but the real "I" - never.
Schlegel Rebecca (Rebecca Schlegel) and Hicks Joshua (Joshua Hicks) from the University of Texas foundFeeling Like You Know Who You Are: Perceived True Self-Knowledge and Meaning in LifeAs the look of a man on his true "self" affects the satisfaction of himself. Scientists asked a group of people to keep a diary, recording the everyday things and their experiences. The subjects felt more detached when doing something questionable from the standpoint of morality: dishonest or selfish.
The belief that the true 'I' morally positive, explains why people connect with their personal achievement "I", and the shortcomings - no. We do so in order to increase self-esteem. Psychologists Anne Wilson (Anne Wilson) and Michael Ross (Michael Ross) provedFrom chump to champ: People's appraisals of their earlier and present selvesThat we tend to ascribe negative traits themselves past and not the present.
Can you live without any faith in the true "I"? Shtrominger psychologist Nina (Nina Strohminger) and her colleagues conductedDeath and the Self survey among Tibetans and Buddhist monks who preach non-existence "I". They found that the smaller the Tibetan monks believe in stable inner self, the more they fear death.
9. Insecure people act more morally
Self-doubt is not always a disadvantage. People who doubt their positive qualities tend to prove their presence. For example, those who doubt his generosity, are more likely to donate money to charity. This reaction can cause negative comments.
If you tell an employee that he worked little, he wanted to prove the opposite.
Psychologist Dracaena Prelek (Drazen Prelec) explainsSelf-signaling and diagnostic utility in everyday decision making1 this phenomenon is this: we are not more important than the action itself, but what it says about us. People continue to diet, even after losing interest in it, because I do not want to appear weak-willed.
Anyone who considers himself generous, intelligent and sociable, does not seek to prove it. But an excess of faith in themselves increases the gap between the imaginary and the real: self-confident people often do not notice that they are far from the image, which is created in his mind.
10. If we consider ourselves to be flexible, you can do better
Representation of a person to who it affects their behavior. Psychologist Carol Dweck (Carol Dweck) foundThat if we consider some characteristic variability is likely to work on it more. Conversely, if we are confident that our IQ or willpower - something immutable, then we will not try to improve these indicators.
Dweck has found that people tend to consider themselves unable to change, poorly perceived failure. They see them as proof of his limitations. On the contrary, people who believe that talent can be developed over time, perceive mistakes as an opportunity to do something better next time. Therefore Dweck recommends setting on self-improvement.
In moments of doubt, remember that we still have a lot to learn, and find joy in this.
see also
- 55 questions to help you learn more about yourself →
- 26 Thinking errors, because we do not understand anything →
- As for the 12 months to completely change myself and become better than you are →