How to get rid of a discontent

Remember how often you criticize yourself, you think only of their own mistakes and do not accept yourself for who you are. Yes, all of us are far from ideal, but it does not correct the self-flagellation.

Why are we unhappy with a

The influence of the media

The way we treat ourselves, is largely dependent on our environment. And most of all influenced by the media on us, and the content that we consume.

As soon as we stop to think that us that something is wrong, we will begin to notice what is happening around us and be aware of how advertising works. It throws us images of "ideal" that we always wanted to buy more and more.

We are forced to think that now we are not good enough, but if we buy this or that product... Only when we buy it all over again. And again and again we are trying to change himself, to finally fit to impose upon us the ideal.

childhood experience

Of course, it's not just the media. We were also influenced by the conclusions we have learned in childhood. Here is what this psychologist Caryl McBride (Karyl McBride), specializing in working with children from disadvantaged families.

Take, for example, families in which one parent suffers from alcohol addiction. The child does not understand why the parent is sometimes engaged in them, and sometimes ignored. In a family where one of the parents suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder, the child does not understand what a parent is not able to show compassion or love. In families with domestic violence, the child does not understand why adults commit such horrible acts. The child is trying to solve the problems of adults to achieve its main goal - to get love and care. Of course, this happens unconsciously, but this behavior can occur at a very early age.

Caryl McBride

We continue to think this way, and in adult life, allowing to influence our external factors opinion of himself. When we see that everything is going wrong, we look for ways to remedy the situation.

If someone is ill treat us, we immediately assume that us that something is wrong. We can not control what people think of us, therefore, begin to change something in their behavior: manner of dress, talk, laugh. And then I say to myself: "If this man's opinion has not changed, then, in my problem."

We are faced with a problem, and instead, to understand its cause and somehow solve the situation, trying to change themselves. In the end, this behavior only hurts. Because sooner or later we begin to feel that we never change, never be "right".

How to fight it

You need to change their approach. Tell yourself: "I am not inferior to the other, I'm good enough. I will always be able to evolve and become even better. "

Let this attitude to himself will become your new natural response to the world around us. Of course, to believe in it, you will need to take concrete action. It is not enough just to say that you believe it. You need to hammer it into his head.

1. Think of someone you admire, and then ask yourself what this person would appreciate in you

This is very motivates. Remember the people who make you admired and respected, those for whom you would like to be, and try to find yourself in some features that could cause the admiration of them. To do this, you need to have some tremendous achievements. The main thing - to stop to consider themselves inferior.

2. Treat yourself worse than you would have reacted to his subordinates

Stop being cruel to yourself. If you are treated in the same way to his subordinates, they would not just quit, but also in the court would have applied. Much of what we say to ourselves, another person we would never have said. So stop doing so.

Ask yourself: "I would tell him I is someone else?". This is a great way to gauge how you feel about yourself.

3. Do not engage in samoedstvom

This is especially important. Even if you really deserve criticism, self-blame only make you even more angry at himself. Admit that you made a mistake. Accept it and move on.

If you believe that you are good enough, then what would you have spoken the media or others, you make an effort and be able to achieve their goals. But if you are convinced that you are something does not quite live up to the rest, it appears you have surrendered even before the hit the ground running.