Personal experience: how to cope with Haight online
A Life / / December 19, 2019
Ivan Survillo
Author of the project "a personal interview». At age 19, he became the apostle Esquire and read more about yourself hundreds of malicious comments.
Hey. My name is Ivan Survillo, in 2018 I actively Haight on Twitter for the "Interview of the personal" and continue to do so until now, though not so zealously. I want to share my experience of how to live, when a crowd of trolls you and says unpleasant things (I bet this column to discuss Twitter, too).
0. Call someone important, weep
An optional item that will throw out the emotions and cool head.
1. Make a list of important people
Open the notes on your phone or take a piece of paper with a pen and write down the names of people whose opinion of you and your work is really important to you. I made a list of about ten minutes. It included about 15 names: the family, a few friends, a few friends, colleagues and acquaintances, colleagues.
Match the list of those who wrote about you muck - most likely one from the list among the haters you will not see. Hence, paying attention to them, it is not necessary. If you see, and your relationship with the person is allowed, call him around with a phrase: "Hello, read your post about me. I do not really understand why you wrote it. Can you explain, "Most likely, people will remove the post, or to explain why he wrote it, and you will cease to torment the unknown - you will realize what was called his
anger.2. Analyze what they write about you
Open the tape and read: "Ivan Survillo: I have three days to write good lyrics. I did not want to, but I had to. " Then ask yourself the question: "And I did write good lyrics only three days?" Understand that the "non-A, and on one a day hardly typed ", and proceed to the next tweet:" Ivan Survillo never tires bear a bucket of live lice ". Like the fact that my first and last name in small letters, like lice, I do not give birth at all and for physiological reasons can not, therefore, tweet - rubbish skip, read on.
Understand that people are bullied, not because they do not like your work. People poisoned, because next to her (or you) they feel uncomfortable. Evil comments - this is not about you, but about what people see themselves, in spite of you. People write nasty things, because with the help of this they can feel a little better.
3. laugh
For example, I sent a funny phrase to friends and family, and the best spread in Instagram. Laughter - a natural reaction of the body, which helps to not fall off the rails. Experts from Oxford University believeSocial laughter is correlated with an elevated pain thresholdThat during laughter are allocated in the body chemical compounds with analgesic properties, so laugh.
4. ignore offenders
I deliberately never did not answer Hayter. First, coming into conflict, it is very easy to lose self-control and to become Hayter. Secondly, it is meaningless. Well, how to respond to the suggestion that I am someone's lover, and therefore took place in ranking Forbes?
If you do decide to join the conversation, I advise to wait a minute before you write something (to emotion subsided a little), not respond to aggression with aggression, to respond to the constructive and not to publish what could not tell the interlocutor in real life.
5. If you got - block
If some people have got very, lock, so it does not show up in your stream. Still it is possible to block tweets with certain words, such as your name, but then there is a risk not see good and positive posts. remove negative comments Facebook and Instagram, if you hate to read them. So you will not see them and worry about them.
6. Try to internally agree with reviewer
Be wary advise this technique, because I have it worked, but someone can drive them into even greater neurosis and apathy. Try to internally agree with the abuser and watch him. I felt better after I said out loud, "I - the most [terrible] a journalist, and I have nothing ever happens." It seems that as if disarming the opponent: it makes no sense to criticize if you yourself agree that a bad journalist. Subsequently he made of the phrase sticker for Telegram.
7. Re-read the good reviews about themselves
I'm on the computer has a Daddy, where I put all the nice emails and feedback on my work, which I come. If I'm getting hard to cope with the wave of hatred, I open this folder, and read all of the queue. Releases.
I advise you to have the same daddy - it helps not to lose faith in yourself.
8. Find constructive pearls
Sometimes negative comments found constructive. Average ratio: 98% and 2% nonsense linings. Above nonsense do not worry, it is about anything but constructive copy his notes, and analyze. I, for example, after tweets about his terrible diction began to recite every day in front of a mirror Tongue Twisters.
9. do not dwell
Remember, the Internet contributes toThe Online Disinhibition Effect the feeling of invisibility and impunity. People like wearing masks under which they can not see this. Anonymity liberates and makes you forget about the norms of morality and ethics. Interestingly, in real life Hayter cute and carefree communicated with me as if nothing had happened. Not one of them in person told me that he wrote on the network.
Criticism brighter imprinted in the memory due to the logic of evolution. Time to think about good things does not make much sense: they are not important for survival, but negative - is important. In primitive times, if you are displeased tribe, you can expel from it, and you would die. Formed a chain: displease tribe is impossible, because without it I would not survive. The problem is that over the last 40-50 thousand years the brain has not changed much and sees no difference between Hayter online and angry tribesmen. It confirmsBad Is Stronger Than Good Professor Roy Baumeister in his work.
Remember that Haight - it's not about you, and copy his notes phrase Salvador Dali: "The main thing is to constantly talked about Dali, even good."
see also⚡️
- 7 ways to protect yourself from the negative
- 7 Ways to correctly answer an insult
- How to survive the persecution on the Internet