Why do we lie ourselves and how to stop it

A Life / by admin / December 19, 2019

Why do we do

We give in to self-deception, because they are not ready to admit his insecurities and vulnerabilities. We are trying to avoid a collision with an unpleasant fact of life. From the point of view of psychology, self-deception - one of the ways to protect themselves from the problems and feelings of guilt.

Self-deception is much more effective than coercion or other people's arguments. Currently we always believe more willingly. At the same time we take to be the truth is what we want to believe. As a result, we unconsciously create in a false understanding of the subject.

regular employment syndrome - one of the most common examples of self-deception.

Failing to achieve success in any area, many escape from this unpleasant sensation, loading himself with the affairs. So some are workaholics because of difficulties in communication. In this case, it turns on self-deception, and the man says to himself that he was just too busy.

Even travel can be a form of self-deception. Some are sent to them when faced with problems in his personal life or career. And as an escape from the difficulties perceived as something bad, they tell themselves that just love to travel.

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Some likewise convince themselves increased the success and attractiveness. Perhaps this explains why many people use for its filters photo. If they are used to deceive ourselves, it does not cost anything to embellish their appearance and other advantages over the other.

How do psychological protective reactions

Negation

I do not overeat, even though I have excess weight.
I am not dependent on cigarettes, although smoked per day for more than twenty pieces.
I'm not an alcoholic, but I drink it every day.

Such statements - just a desperate attempt to deceive himself by denying reality. Due to the psychological defense mechanism we perceive them as an integral part of himself. Therefore, it is difficult to see in them the contradiction.

Rationalization

If only he had kept his promise, I would not angry at him.
If only I was more sensitive and emotionally stable partner, I would have been happy with the relationship.
If only I had more time I would have tried his hand is what I dream for a long time.

We often condone omission of such phrases. But such an approach, the decision is not based on your actual convictions, and on false premises.

projection

You never listen to me, you do not care about our relationship.
You have too many ambitions to start a family.
You're too much time is devoted to friends, to appreciate the relationship with other people.

So the brain makes us believe in an alternate reality. He is always looking for an opportunity to shift the blame to others and does not give to see that the problem is in us.

How not to succumb to self-deception

1. Stay

Once you have possession of some kind of emotion (shame, guilt, revenge) - slow down. If you generalize too something - slow down. As soon noticed the discrepancy between their values and actions - slow down. Take a deep breath and rip this train of thought.

2. Analyze their behavior

If you strongly react to certain situations, think about what it says. Recognize own limitations and weakness. Then you will understand what your choices.

3. Take a look at the face of your fears

Perhaps you avoid something, or were afraid to test yourself for strength. It is time to have the courage to look in the face of problems. After that, you will become more confident in yourself.

4. accept reality

Be willing to accept things as they are, not what you want them to. For example, you write your stories but do not attract the audience. Maybe they really are not good enough to trigger a response of readers.

We can not evaluate yourself objectively. Find someone you trust, and ask him to make the bitter truth. But even then the brain will try to smooth out the facts that you do not like.

Accept the reality entirely. It's painful, but necessary. And it will always pay off in the future.