How to pay their own uncertainty to their advantage
A Life / / December 19, 2019
Rich Karlgaard
Journalist, writer, publisher of Forbes magazine. Before you achieve success, he changed a lot of jobs, including being a dishwasher and a watchman. Late Bloomers wrote a book about those who do not immediately find themselves in life.
When it comes to self-doubt, more often advised to cultivate opposite qualities: determination, toughness, cheek. But the point is, how exactly are you trying to become confident.
Some of this or disparage others compare themselves with weaker adapt to the cultural norms to conform to someone else's definition of success. This unreliable ways (not to mention the fact that some of them are just low). They can even cause depression.
Doubt yourself properly. Do not think that you are the only one who has faced this problem. This does not insured by any popular musicians or famous surgeons, nor talented authors. Writer Maya Angelou once said: "I have written 11 books, but every time I think:" Oh no, now I'm disclose. I lied to everyone, and now I will show up. ' "
Do not be afraid of self-doubt. Take it as a natural opportunity for growth.
This will help to self-efficacy. This concept is introduced psychologist Albert Bandura. his researchSelf-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral changePublished in 1977, has revolutionized the scientific community. The American Psychological Association even recognizedEminent psychologists of the 20th century fourth author on the psychology of the XX century importance. It surpassed only Burres Skinner, Jean Piaget and Sigmund Freud.
According to Bandura, self-efficacy - a belief in their ability to come up with a plan of action and carry out the tasks necessary for success. If you doubt that it is within your power to achieve the desired, you will not want to take up the case or to persist during hardships. But if you have high levels of self-efficacy, then you are in a different approach to the goals and life difficulties. This affects both the wageSelf-Esteem and EarningsAnd on satisfactionRelationship between Self-Efficacy with Job Satisfaction: An Empirical Analysis work.
Of course, even people with high self-efficacy doubt themselves. But it helps to turn these doubts motivation. Self-efficacy is particularly important for those who have achieved the heights of the other later. Because of the universal obsession with early success, they are often deprived of the two main sources of confidence: the moments of skill and role models.
We are experiencing moments of excellence when it reaches a certain purpose - for example, we pass the exam brilliantly, winning in a sports competition or successfully pass an interview. They increase our self-confidence. At the same ones who developed more slowly or just later he found himself, usually fewer points. And fewer role models, because in our culture, attention is focused mainly to the young talents.
Self-efficacy can be developed, and quite easy way - talking to yourself.
We're constantly doing this: the cheers, the we criticize ourselves. In psychology this is called internal dialogue. With it, we shape our relationships with yourself and learning objective self-assessment. This is especially necessary for those who later found himself, to overcome negative cultural cues from others and society.
Psychologists have long studied the relationship of positive internal dialogue with self-efficacy. For example, researchers from Greece CheckSelf-Talk in the Swimming Pool: The Effects of Self-Talk on Thought Content and Performance on Water-Polo TasksHow it affects the players in water polo, namely their ability to throw the ball - evaluated the accuracy and distance. It turned out, thanks to the positive internal dialogue in athletes significantly improved both indicators, as well as increased self-confidence.
It helpsEffects of Self-Talk: A Systematic Review not only in sport. And it is important that even as we appeal to him. Psychologist Ethan Cross spentSelf-talk as a regulatory mechanism: how you do it matters experiment. First he provoked stress in the participants is said that they have five minutes to prepare for the speech in front of a panel of judges.
One half to reduce anxiety advised to refer to himself in the first person ( "Why am I so scared?"), The other - from the second or third ( "Why are you so scared?", "Why is Katie so scared?"). After the speech, all were asked to rate how they feel embarrassed.
It turned out, people who have used your name or the pronoun "you", much less ashamed of themselves. In addition, observers have recognized their performances more confident and convincing.
According to Cross, when we think of ourselves as the other person, we can give yourself an "objective and useful fidbek". This happens because we distance ourselves from the self and seemed to give advice to another person.
We are no longer in the problem and can think more clearly, without being distracted by emotions.
There is one caveat: the internal dialogue should not be overly optimistic. Do not make yourself too high expectations - just look for situations in something positive. Do not dismiss the obstacles and errorsUse them as an opportunity to evaluate their actions and learn something new.
see also🧐
- 5 ways to improve your self-esteem
- How to change the thinking and make their lives better
- How to pump an internal dialogue, free from negativity and become more successful