What is Stockholm Syndrome and how to help get rid of it

When Wolfgang died, Natasha crying. Later, she litNatascha abductor buried secretly candle in his memory. It would look pathetic, if not the background is the event.

Natasha Kampusch - a girl 10 years of age maniac kidnapped and held for eight years in a basement, using as a sex slave. Wolfgang Priklopil - the same culprit, of whom Natasha hands eventually miraculously escaped.

Kampusch story and Priklopila just one example of how to manifest a psychological phenomenon called Stockholm Syndrome. Sometimes the stories seem scandalous and even frightening. But the prevalence of the syndrome is much than it seems.

It is possible he is and you. Just you about this until you know.

What is Stockholm Syndrome

Most likely, this history of the term you are at least vaguely heard: it is quite popular. Therefore, we recallstockholm Syndrome only in general terms.

In 1973 armed terrorists hijacked largest bank in Stockholm. The hostages were four bank employees. Criminals bodykit victims of explosive devices, and for six days were placed in a small room. At the hostages have not been able to get up and stretch their legs. Normally go to the toilet. The first days they spent under the constant threat of being shot for the slightest disobedience.

But when the police were able to release them, it turned strange. The victims did not hold a grudge against their tormentors. On the contrary - sympathized with them. "Do not touch them, they did us no harm!" - shouted one of the workers, protecting terrorists from the police. A little later, others recognize that the thought of one of the aggressors, "very good" for the fact that he let her go when she was lying on the floor of the bank. The third said that he felt gratitude to the kidnappers: "When he (Olsson, a terrorist. - Layfhaker) well we were treated, we considered him almost a god. "

Psychiatrist criminologist Nils Beyerot, analyze this story, called paradoxical attachment to the victims of Stockholm syndrome tormentors.

Then, in the 1970s, psychiatrists are faced with this phenomenon more than once. That there is the famous kidnapping of Patty Hearst, the heiress of the famous media mogul, just one year after Stockholm. Woman held for days in close closet, raped, beaten. Out of all the fact that Patty fell in love with one of the kidnappers and sincerely join their group.

What makes people become attached to rapists

In fact, the Stockholm Syndrome - it's even natural. The mechanism of its occurrence is closely associated with the instinct of self-preservationWhat Underlies Stockholm Syndrome? - one of the most powerful of human instincts.

Firstly, sympathy for the aggressor reduces the risk of being killed. If you smile, you demonstrate obedience and understanding, then perhaps rapist take pity and give you life. In human history, replete with wars and seizures, it has happened a million times. We all - the descendants of people who survived only because he once showed sympathy for the aggressors. Stockholm Syndrome, it can be said, is wired in our genes.

Secondly, the manifestation of this syndrome increases the survival of the group, as is the unifying factorThe Stockholm syndrome. On the psychological reaction of hostages and hostage-takers between the victim and the aggressor. Since you were in the same team, even against his will, is more profitable for all - not to beat each other. Indirect Bonus: if someone is in a hurry to help, and you is fighting with the aggressor, in the heat of battle liberator can kill you. Therefore more profitable to keep peace hostage subordinate relationship with the abuser: by the way it is clear who is who.

Become a victim of Stockholm Syndrome can each. Suffice it to create conditions for this.

In most cases, the Stockholm Syndrome - a consequence of severe psychological trauma. The shock of such a level that assures man: his life is hanging by a thread, and he did not rely on anyone. Except that the perpetrator - the only active subject, to be close, though is associated with a tiny, but still a chance of survival.

What is the Stockholm syndrome in everyday life

To become a victim of a syndrome, not necessarily fall into the situation of the kidnappers and the hostages.

It takes only three conditionsWhy Stockholm Syndrome Happens and How to Help:

• psychological trauma associated with life-threatening;
• a close relationship in which there is a serious difference in the strength and capabilities of the parties;
• difficulties in order to leave the relationship.

Example 1: The relationship between parent and child ill

The mother or father may offend child neglect them severely punished physically. But sometimes, in a fit of good cheer, give a piece of candy. Or to smile at him. It's enough to remember the child only bright moments, and the parent was for him "almost God" as a terrorist in the eyes Olsson captured them bank employees.

Subsequently, these children will be protected from the adult, for example, making a call the police. Or lie to others, saying that bruising - that's not from the beating, and from a simple fall.

Example 2: violence pair

Violence in familyWhen someone, usually a womanNATIONAL STATISTICS, Feels dependent on his ill partner - a classic domestic Stockholm syndrome. Develops all along the same lines. First, the victim is in a traumatic situation, when she was nowhere to wait for help, and the perpetrator seems to hold her life in his hands. Then the victim the aggressor presents "candy": demonstrating sincere repentance, gives gifts, is about love.

Later beatings continue, but the victim is already on the hook: she remembers the rare light moments, and even begins to sympathize with the aggressor. "He's good, it's just that I am bringing." Such painful relationshipFull of physical and psychological violence can last for many years.

Example 3: a cruel boss or guru religious sects

"It is tough, but fair" - surely you've heard similar statements. Relations with higher despot who occasionally indulges praise, too, can be a unique form of this psychological phenomenon. In such cases, they sayCorporate Stockholm Syndrome Corporate Stockholm syndrome.

How to recognize the Stockholm Syndrome

Generally accepted diagnostic criteria that would identify Stockholm syndrome does not exist. This is largely due to the fact that this phenomenon is not officially recognized as a disease or a mental disorder. You will not find it in any authoritative psychiatric manual. The syndrome is seen more as an unconscious strategyWhat is Stockholm Syndrome survival.

However, some common symptoms, which can be identified the victim of the Stockholm syndrome, still exist. Here they areWhy Stockholm Syndrome Happens and How to Help.

• Understanding that a person shows to the rapist. "It's not him, it's circumstances forced him to do so."
• Position "I blame myself." The victim may argue this way: if I behave "correctly", the attitude towards me changed.
• Belief in the goodness of the aggressor. "He's a good, just the nature of the explosion."
• The feeling of pity for the cruel. "He's so, because his father beat him as a child." "He is so because society does not recognize his talent!"
• Self-abasement, unconditional recognition of the power of the aggressor. "Without him, I do not deserve anything." "Without it, I'm damn."
• Reluctance to leave the abuser. After all, "He is good to me," "He appreciates me."
• Failure to cooperate with the company or the police in bringing to justice tormentor. "Do not interfere in our relations strangers." "The police just send him to prison without understanding, and he was kind to me, I do not want to be ungrateful."

How to help a person who has Stockholm Syndrome

Here are a few rules that will help pull the victim out of painful relationship.

1. Suggest psychotherapy

Ideally, if you can persuade the victim to go to a therapist. The specialist will help to spread what is happening on the shelves. Indicating that there is a human being. Cause of wonder about the abnormality of the situation. It is the most effective way to eliminate.

If opportunities for visits to a professional there, try to push the victim to speculation. In conversations if by chance, without pressure, means important point. "For people can not cry, it's disrespectful." "Nobody has the right to raise a hand against another person." Have read an article about the Stockholm syndrome. Education - an important step to getting rid of painful addiction.

2. Do not give advice and do not press

Victims of violence should have the right to make their own decisions. If you are talking to a person from a position of "I know better what you do," you only have once again fueled his helplessness.

3. Listen, but do not judge

An opportunity to tell someone about your feelings sincerely and honestly, without fear to hear in response: "you fool", is crucial. It helps a person to get rid of unnecessary emotions and enable rational thinking.

4. Use the Socratic method

The ancient Greek philosopher believed man himself can realize what happens to him when asking him leading questions. Sincere interest of the victim, as she sees the situation. He feels about it. Which may cause the final event. Do not make claims or assessments. Just ask and listen.

5. Avoid polarization

Do not try to convince the person that the aggressor - a villain. This can lead to the opposite result: the victim "polarized" - will be on the same side with the abuser against the whole world.

6. Define a hook, which keeps Stockholm syndrome, and destroy it

Sometimes this is obvious hook. For example, a woman can not break off relations with her husband-abuser simply because it thinks: she has nowhere to go. Or because he is afraid of losing material things, which gives her the aggressor in moments of good humor. Sometimes the hook is hidden more deeply.

Help the victim to determine what exactly it is trying to meet the need in these painful relationships. The realization that it keeps a person close to the rapist - the first step towards liberation.