Impostor syndrome: what it is and how to get rid of it

Psychologist Gail Matthews (Gail Matthews) found that the vast majority of people who have achieved success, Admitted that they felt impostors in this or that period of life.

To find out whether you are one of them, answer the following questions:

• You attributed his success luck, the right moment, or an error?
• Do you agree with the statement that "if I can, then anyone can"?
• You are suffering because of small defects in your work?
• You feel depressed even for constructive criticism, seeing it as a direct proof of your unfitness?
• When you succeed, you get the feeling that you all again cheated?
• Are you worried that you "expose" and it is only a matter of time?

The most interesting thing in the impostor syndrome - that you are already successful. The problem is that you can not accept it.

People with imposter syndrome with transformation issues of their competence in the inner feeling. You can see your achievements in the resumeBut emotionally you are disconnected from them. The story that tells about your resume, and the story you tell yourself about yourself, do not dock. Let's talk about why this is happening and what you can do to fix this situation.

What is the impostor syndrome

Why, when there are so many know-alls who do not know absolutely nothing, so many really smart people do not believe in yourself?

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but the wise are so full of doubts.

Bertrand Russell (Bertrand Russell), British philosopher, mathematician, public figure

Psychologists have found the answer: the thing in cognitive distortionsWhich is called the effect Dunning - Kruger. The bottom line is that the stupid people is insufficient experience to properly evaluate how low their skills, so they are convinced of his genius, even if it is not. On the other hand, people with experience realize how often erred in the past, and therefore tend to underestimate their abilities, even when wrong.

Many successful people faced with the impostor syndrome, describe their experiences.

Because of the exaggerated estimates that given the cause of my life, I was very uncomfortable. I have to think of themselves as involuntary swindler. Albert Einstein (Albert Einstein), winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics
I wrote eleven books, but every time I think, is about - and people will realize that I am not worthy of this. I'm playing catch-up with all, and I have now caught. Maya Angelou (Maya Angelou), American writer and poet
I always look forward to what will be the police, takes the mediocre people, and arrest me. Mike Myers (Mike Myers), an actor, comedian, screenwriter and film producer

But the irony is that the impostor syndrome is not just talented people suffer, and those who least can be called liars.

Some researchers argue that the impostor syndrome is equally common among men and women, others - that for women it is more common. The term "impostor syndrome" was coined by two female scientists Paolini Clancey (Pauline R. Clance) and Susan Imes (Suzanne A. Imes).

Various studies on plants have shown that women often evaluate their work is worse than it actually is, while men are the opposite. When medical students were asked to rate themselves on their own, students set themselves lower scores, than boys, students, despite the fact that, according to teachers assessments, the girls were ahead in this group guys. Examining a thousand Harvard students, the researchers found that in almost every subject relating to the practice of law, women set themselves lower scores than boys. The situation is aggravated when the woman evaluates himself in front of others or in areas considered masculine.

Sheryl Sandberg (Sheryl Sandberg), operating officer of Facebook, writer

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that when the number of students on the course has passed for 15%, performance of girls has improved dramatically. Girls who attend segregated schools, to have higher career aspirationsThan those that are enrolled in a regular school.

The reality can be changed under the influence of emotions. When you feel exhausted, your cognitive performance become worse. Sense of social alienation really is (temporarily) makes you dumber.

And if you are in a situation where the stereotypes are telling you that you can not handle, you execute the job is worse than you can. Girls less versed in mathematics than boys? Of course, if you remind them about it.

Adding columns to indicate the test floor leads to the fact that women cope with the tasks worse than men.

But the men is also a concern. Representatives of the stronger sex, which at the time of the study said that the test examines "the capacity for empathy, it is better developed in Women ", showed less dramatic results than those men who said that the test examines" the ability to handle complex information. " With the same scenario results in the women did not have significant differences.

When you feel like an outsider or dealing with negative perceptions of their own abilitiesYou can be exposed to the impostor syndrome. But if you really perform well, why can not you accept it as a fact and be free? There are several reasons.

Vicious circle

impostor syndrome is directly linked to anxiety and fear failures. You continue to move forward to maintain the appearance... But even when you work hard, so you do not have got to the core, you only strengthens my confidence in the fact that you are an impostor. "You all cheated again. But next time you're so lucky. "

Not surprisingly, the researchers found a link between the impostor syndrome and fear of failure. Anyway, we spend all my life trying to avoid mistakes. In the world of the impostor is simply no such thing as constructive criticism: there is only condemnation. And the lack of approval in a sense serves as yet another proof that you are a liar. A score below than good, regarded as the formal charge of this.

And you continue to work harder, but it does not feel better. As Jim Carrey (Jim Carrey) about his impostor syndrome and subsequent hard work, "if I continue to consider themselves worthless, I will become king of show business."

You feel not only iznuronnym but lonely. You can not tell anyone about his "secret". You can not ask for help, because it will look insolvent.

In the end, it's tiring. Hard work, fear that you "expose", and not be able to ask for help - a lot of stress. As a result, you put yourself irreparable harm. But there are other ways to deal with the impostor syndrome. Let us dwell on them.

1. Focus on training

Psychologist Carol DUEK (Carol Dweck) recommends to focus on the learning process rather than results.

People with imposter syndrome often think they are not smart enough. And we are sure that they can not become more intelligent. This is because they are focused on specific objectives, such as "How can I get the highest score?" Instead of "How can I get better?".

focus on self-improvement - is to recognize that you are not perfect, but know that you can get better. And with such a plant can actually. After all, even if you make a mistake, you know, they have learned something new.

But to focus exclusively on performance - so calm down only after death. This is an incredible stress, which pushes you to the unhealthy and probably unethical acts.

2. Aim for the assessment of "good enough"

The Microsoft software has bugs. The developers are well aware of them. And that's fine. In Microsoft begin each project, surely knowing that the new product will be released in error. After all, if they wanted to make it perfect, it would never have been completed. Absolutely never. Therefore, they focused on the criteria for "good enough."

Just stop to expect from him a permanent state of an ideal. Instead, aim for a sense of comfort at an adequate level. The reality is that even the brightest and most talented of us spend most of their time performing routine tasks that do not need to do something supernatural.

Professor from Swarthmore College, Barry Schwartz (Barry Schwartz) said that "good enough" - this is the secret of happiness.

Rather than trying to preserve the illusion that you are perfect, recognize that it is not. Do not try to become a overconfident, Learn to sympathize with myself. Forgive myself if something spoiled. Studies confirm that samosostradanie has the same advantages as self-confidence, but without the drawbacks.

3. Remove the mask

In fact, get rid of the impostor syndrome is simple: remove the mask. Do not be an impostor.

If we knew all the secrets of each other, how would it be a consolation.

John Churton Collins (John Churton Collins), English critic

Pressure, pain, discomfort - all because of the secrecy. As we have already established, 70% of successful people at some point in their lives felt it. A significant number of people going through this right now. So do not be afraid to be in the majority.

And do not be afraid to talk to others. No, you do not have to send to all your friends and colleagues email «I'm a liar." Self-flagellation is also not required. You just need someone to share what you are feeling. You suffer in silence, because silence.

Talk with others - an effective strategy. We can not know what's going on in the mind of another person, although it is possible that he is as puzzled. Therefore, make an effort to learn how to communicate with others. When you see that the people you admire (or who are afraid), also from time to time to worry about their achievements, you can take a fresh look at their own alarm.

Talk to someone who you suspect has faced impostor syndrome and knows how to deal with it. When you share your feelings, there will be two important things:

1. You will find that you are no longer an impostor. You do not pretend. You have removed the mask.
2. You make sure that the other person is going through the same thing. You are not alone. And it does not need to hide.

And now let's go back and take the decision to make the first and most important step is to get rid of the impostor syndrome.

results

How to get rid of the impostor syndrome:

1. Focus on the process of learning. You can get better, if you try. Focus on that.
2. Guided by the principle of "good enough." Do not try to be perfect. Even if you make a mistake, do not dwell on it.
3. Remove the mask. Share your thoughts with someone who knows the feeling. You are not alone.

It may seem that you are walking down the street naked and open to prying eyes too much of his heart and his mind, and all that is hidden inside of you, are exhibited. If you feel it, you're doing everything right.

Neil Gaiman (Neil Gaiman), well-known British science fiction writer, author of graphic novels and comics

So what should be the first step?

Plan your own exposure. Right now. Write to the person with whom you can talk about it, and make an appointment. Each of us is a mask. It's part of life. But from now on, if you want to put on one of them, do it not because you are an impostor, but because the superhero.