10 surprising discoveries that I made after birth

1. The child may not be the person with whom you would never have met

While wondering relatives to whom the baby looks like, from what his grandfather went to his eyebrows, and from a grandmother - little fingers, the child grows unlike anyone but himself.

We do not choose who will be born. We know nothing of the new man, necessary to meet with him every day and open it.

You may find that you have born a person with whom you would never have come to communicate, whether you have a choice.

Not in the sense that the child - a monster, you just do not have anything in common, except for some of the genes and family.

I was lucky that my child - a typical phlegmatic, thoughtful and absorbed in their own affairs. Just with people like me and simply interesting to communicate. A nephew, for example, an incredible artist, able and likes to attract attention, taken a hundred important things to the next minute to find a hundred is even more important. He's a great, talented, but how do I find it hard to him. Sometimes I think with horror that it could have been the other way around.

Such differences of temperament evident from the very first months of life, and the child does not convert (someone is trying, but it is inhumane). You have to love him for who was born, and learn to live with it.

2. Your parents made a lot of mistakes

Say, only after the birth of your child you understand how hard it had parents. So, but you see, and one more thing: how often they were wrong.

Of course, the parents did not have the Internet, disposable diapers, consultants on breastfeeding and early development of the schools. But the library, then they were! So why is it interesting to know, they raised us as educated?

Any educated modern parents obviously that grandparents are wrong. Someone is in the details: dripped into the nose breast milk, fed by the hour or forced to eat. Someone make a slip bigger: not supported in conflict with classmates, forbidden to take the initiative, treated whims belt.

Sinless there will be no one, because we are all human beings.

3. But you do more

The first inspiration from the idea that you are aware of children more than parents, is very fast. Because no matter how hard you try, will never be a perfect parent. It is impossible to never raise his voice, never break, never score that should make a perfect parent.

You are sure to go wrong many times, well, okay. This is not a reason to hate yourself, really. All parents make mistakes, all the children feel it myself, but somehow grow, in most cases, everything is fine.

That is no reason to treat parenting somehow. Just do not cultivate the image of a perfect parent and do not try to keep up with him - nothing but neurosis, not catch up.

4. No one knows how to bring the right

Every child - a unique person with his temperament, his thoughts and growth characteristics. No manual will not tell all, no psychologist will tell you what is going on in the mind of this little man.

Recipes "how to raise a child" do not work. More precisely, the work, but not all, not always and not with your child.

For example, in each of the second article, which tells how to cope with the vagaries of a three-year child, I saw advice to act on the contrary: if the child does not want to go home with a walk, then you need to say, no one back home would not go. Out of a desire to do just the opposite child should want home immediately. If I could just this advice worked! "We can not home, we will walk to the blue in the face!" - says mother and child nods and happily go to the nearest bushes catch the worm.

And as always, with all the recommendations.

5. Children are smarter than they appear

Children's brain is only growing, many thought processes they are unavailable because of physiological limitations. Children have little experience, so it is more difficult to draw conclusions: not enough material for reflection. Therefore, many adults think that a child "does not yet understand." And then the adults are mistaken, because the children understand much more than we think.

Never underestimate the power of children's intelligence and even more so can not say: "When you grow up - you learn," because if the child is asked, then he is ready to hear the answer.

If the child does not understand that you are responsible, then you simply do not explain or do not understand that what they say.

When I still had no child, we found ourselves in the company of a pair of parents whose child has just been in the age of "Who Knows?" (He was four years old) and kept asking about everything in a row. Parents are asked not to pay attention to these questions, because "otherwise it will not leave you alone." I saw how the child was upset, so still trying to tell him more. It was noticeable that he was actually interested in everything that he asks and what he says. He eagerly absorbed the information that I gave myself a promise to always respond to all children's "why?", When she become a mother.

It was a great idea, although I did not work always, always answer questions.

6. Parents (ie us) very stupid

When the baby requires an answer to the eternal "why?", He is not satisfied with the excuse, excuse, or stupid "do not know". Even cheat and to respond as a technical and confusing, that he did not understand, did not come out - the eternal "Why?" Will pour out of the child, until he's everything, everything is clear.

I have to constantly talk and explain everything in the world. Why is the sky blue, that means the spectrum of how well the beam breaks up what is the dual nature of light, and where does all the Big Bang.

If you do not boil the pot, then any talk about butterflies ends with the basics of the theory of evolution and the structure of the cells, and the noise of aircraft flying open conversation about aerodynamics. And everything necessary to tell in accessible language. This is possible only in one case: you have a very good command of the topic and are able to explain on the fingers of string theory.

And then it becomes clear how little we actually know how bad we understand the nature of things and how much knowledge of school curriculum It fell out of memory. For the answers to children's questions have to constantly consult at least with Google.

The child - it's an incentive to study, study and study again.

This is my best examiner from all the subjects in the world. Neither a university professor, no curiosity could not force me to learn and to learn so much as a child.

7. My child also once to die

Young parents tell how much love and happiness will bring a child. Then add much ahead of sleepless nights and everyday difficulties, after which still have boundless happiness. Few shares details about the fears. This is not the usual fears like "I can not do it", "I'll be a bad mom," "I will not work" or "I will also be difficult," "Where do I get the money."

When a child comes into the life of the animal horror with him might have something happen. This fear you will never leave. If you analyze it, then sooner or later it will reach the obvious, but the hard thing to realize: the child is also a man, he was born, then he will die.

Now that you know the most terrible secret, welcome to the club of parents.

The thought scares more than the thought of his death. This is not discussed, because even tell anyone about it scary. With this discovery you remain alone. You can not do anything, even if your child will be 110 years old, around it will crowd grandchildren, once he was gone.

8. Parent chats - evil

In theory, it is more convenient to them: all these groups in the messenger helps to know everything and getting important information, if you can find it among hundreds of unwanted messages.

- Tell everyone urgent information from the FSB, fled 12 dangerous criminals and undermine the gardens!

- What is the name of the teacher of physical education?

- It is time to raise money for the discharge, in October, there will be no decent cafe.

- It's fake.

- Tomorrow at 17:30 the meeting.

- Nina.

- Why Cafe at graduation from kindergarten?

- Love grandmothers, grandparents love, the day an old man!

- We have that, there is a physical education teacher?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

9. Yawn can heel

Young children show what it means to be given full case. They have no other way they can. Sometimes they should learn.

I realized, how can grab one lesson, when she saw the yawning newborn son. Usually we yawn mouth and sometimes covered his hand, but the baby is a few days old to do otherwise: he yawned as a whole, whole. In the process were busy hands and feet, up to the heels. And he does seem to like it.

It was my personal lesson: when something you're doing, plunges into the case as a whole, even to the heel participated. Then you will like it.

10. With a child to play, and not to pretend

Children in general are well aware that they are paying attention, and when to communicate formally, for show. If I believed in the third eye, I would say that in children it is still open and reads the parent thought - they accurately determine when an adult is not interesting to build a tower, or play the battle for the base Autobots.

The only way to interest the child in any case - to play with him. The only way to play well - do not pretend you're playing, and get involved in the process sincerely, returning to childhood.

You can not fool the children even in such trifles as the arrangement of the dollhouse. They immediately feel false and no longer believe.

What abyss opened up to you once you become a parent?