How to help a friend who thinks about suicide

1. Learn to recognize alarms

If you have time to notice them from a friend, you will be able to save his life. Here's what you need to pay attention in the first place.

suicidal thoughts

They usually consist of two or more types of these thought patterns:

• Obsessive loop on some thoughts.
• The belief that there is no hope, and get rid of the pain can only be withdrawing from life.
• The belief that existence is pointless or not to control.
• Feeling that the brain is like a blur and focus impossible.

suicidal emotions

Here are the most common:

• Mood swings.
• Feelings of loneliness and isolation, even in the presence of others.
• Feelings of guilt or self-worthlessness, shame, self-hatred, the feeling that no one cares.
• Sadness, isolation, fatigue, Apathy, anxiety, irritability.

Phrases triggers

They are usually in tune with suicidal thoughts and moods:

• Life is not worth all this suffering.
• You (or another loved one) will be better off without me.
• Do not worry, I will not be as necessary to deal with it.
• You'll be sorry when I'm gone.
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• Soon I will stop getting confused all the way.
• I will soon cease to be a burden to all.
• I just can not handle it, and why?
• I can not do anything to change things.
• I have no choice.
• It would be better for me to die.
• It would be better if I was not born at all.

sudden improvement in mood

Many who decides to commit suicide, commit this act just when the side it seems that it has become better. The final decision brings them relief, and they look cool. If you notice such a sharp change in the state of the other, immediately do everything to prevent a suicide attempt (more on this later).

unusual behavior

For those who are thinking about suicide, usually changes the behavior. Alert, if you notice some of these signs:

• Reduced performance at school, at work and in other activities.
• Social isolation.
• Lack of interest in sex, Friends and everything that used to be fun.
• Indifference to their health and appearance.
• Changing eating habits. First of all, pay attention to the extreme: fasting, drinking harmful to human food, the termination of reception of medicines (this is especially important for older people).
• Lethargy and withdrawal.

Signs of the finished plan

If a person already has a plan, then attempted suicide can happen very quickly. Worry, if in addition to suicidal thoughts and phrases you notice the following:

• Man sums up, for example, says goodbye to the relatives, giving away prized possessions, is the will.
• Your friend makes a rash or passive decisions about important things. For example, sales of housing, career and everything connected with his future.

2. Talk about the situation

There is an opinion that the mention of suicide can to push a person to think about it, but it is a mythThe benefits and risks of asking research participants about suicide: A meta-analysis of the impact of exposure to suicide-related content.. If you talk openly with one another, it will be easier to see the other solutions to the problem.

Find a comfortable environment

The conversation is likely to be very heavy, especially for your friend. Note that it may experience guilt and shame for his intention. Start the conversation where you nothing will distract. Ideally - in a calm familiar environment.

Tap the topics of suicide

Start with these questions:

• How do you deal with all that had fallen on you?
• It happens that you just want to give up?
• Do you often think about death?
• You do not think about how to self-harm?
• You have already tried to do this before?

Speak openly and clearly

Avoid common phrases that may seem accuse ( "You're all the time saying that it became impossible to live"). Specifically, for example: "In the last few months I have noticed that you are no longer pleased with what used to elevate mood. you stopped spending time with children». Show that you have brought the conversation to show concern.

Perhaps the first interlocutor will portray the bewilderment or laugh at your words. However, if you notice a serious alarm bells, do not let him turn the conversation to another topic.

Do not judge

You may feel that others are not rights in the assessment of events that he's not so bad. Remind yourself that you can not fully understand what is going on inside him.

Forget about the prevalence of opinion in society that suicide - is out selfish, crazy or immoral people. Suicidal thoughts - is the result of a pathological condition that is treatable and that your friend is not to blame.

Do not use phrases that can hurt

Your point of view will not necessarily help a person to look at their problems in a different way. It may seem that you just do not take them seriously. So do not say phrases like "Yes, everything is not so bad."

Also avoid utterances that evoke a sense of guilt, for example: "You got so many reasons to live" or "Think how your death will upset your family and friends." Instead, it is to show compassion, and say: "You should really be very hard, once you have such thoughts arise."

Listen and show empathy

This conversation should give your friend to feel the love and support. Try to put yourself in his place and listen without criticism. See the interlocutor in the eye and show their openness to using body language.

words of support and encouragement are important, but first let the other person talk. Do not interrupt him. After he uttered, express their point of view. Mention that suicide - this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Assure that you and other people close to help find alternative ways out of the situation.

Let other understand that you love him and that he is an important part of your life. Emotional support at a time - a very important incentive to go on living.

3. Take protective measures

To discuss the situation and to support the kind words are very important, but this is not enough. If you feel that each is configured seriously, take action quickly.

Find out if they have other means for self-harm, and try to fix them

Ask the most quietly, without judgment. It is very important to find out. If you already have a plan and the means for its implementation at the person, then the situation is more serious than you think, and we must act without delay.

Check if they have other access to weapons or drugs. Try to remove them. If prescribed by a doctor friend takes some medications that can be used for suicide, offered to take them personally and to issue the necessary daily dose.

Offer to stay in touch in case of an emergency

Agree that one will call you if he feels that he can not fight with him. Explain what you will do in this case. For example, come to him, or seek professional help.

Clearly decide when and how often can be in touch, before offering help. In no case do not promise what can not perform.

If you feel that one is in danger right now, do not leave him alone. Call an ambulance and stay with him until the arrival of doctors.

Offer ongoing support

For example, arrange regularly talk on the phone or correspond, to learn how other's affairs. Devote more time to common hobby, go somewhere together. So you give a man feel that he is important to you. This is necessary to struggle with depressionWhich often becomes the cause of suicidal thoughts.

4. Seek the help of a third party

You're not a therapist and do not have to be. Your task - to take care about each other and be with him. Likely to desire to live returned, you will need professional help.

Offer address to the psychotherapist

If a person has depression, regular communication with the therapist, where you can discuss suicidal thoughts and triggers can prevent a suicide attempt. This is especially important for those who have already tried to commit suicide before. These people have an increased risk of repeated attempts and psychotherapy reducesCognitive Therapy for the Prevention of Suicide Attempts. it is almost 50%.

Call the ambulance or on a hot line support

If one continues to talk about suicide and the more hints that will make it soon, do not try to cope alone. He needs a qualified medical assistance. Call an ambulance, according to the lawArticle 29 of the Federal Law of the Russian Federation a person can be hospitalized if he was going to hurt themselves.

If there is no immediate threat to life, but the desire to commit suicide still persists, please call one of the hotlines psychological assistance. There may help and to the person who is thinking about suicide, and his family.

Enlist the support of other relatives

Love and care can help a person to look differently at life. Besides, if people from the inner circle know what words and mood to pay attention, they will not miss the alarm bells. Of course, talking only to those who completely trust and who can really help.

Do not forget to take care of yourself

To help others cope with such a serious problem is very hard. We loved it causes stress and takes a lot of effort. So watch out for their own emotional and physical condition. Do not keep it all inside, discuss your feelings with people you trust. This will help you get through this situation.