What to do if you are too self-critical
A Life / / December 19, 2019
Inner critic lives in each of us, but excessive samoedstvo can lead to permanent insecurity. Doctor of Philosophy and PsychologyThe Cooper Strategic Group Amy Cooper Hakim proposed a simple exercise that will help restore a positive attitude and to cope with the wave of self-flagellation.
Remember your best qualities
In the book "Working with difficult people» (Working with Difficult People) Amy gives simple advice. Every time you hear the inner voice that doubt in your success, remember your strengths. Dr. Cooper explains that consciousness should be our actions: pronouncing their positive qualities, we become more confident and eventually begin to treat yourself better.
The man with a normal self-esteem makes decisions calmly and carefully, and do not give up the opportunity, because it is not afraid to make a mistake. If the story of the good itself become a kind of mantra, the inner critic will have to shut up and keep you confident even in difficult situations.
Instead of doubting, say out loud or to myself, "I can do that" or "My efforts will pay off." The more you repeat it, the sooner to believe in themselves and begin to act more boldly. After some time, when you need to make a responsible decision, you will notice that not doubt yourself - this will be the day of your victory.
Stands in front of a mirror
For continuous operation over a Dr. Cooper offers another technique. Select a quality that you like the most, and call him in the morning before the mirror, for example: "I love his ability to solve several problems at once."
Initially, you will be uncomfortable, but the voice will sound more confident with time. Perform each exercise every day, changing the skills and quality. You'd be surprised how much good did not notice in themselves, and the next time, when the inner voice of doubt in success, you will have something to argue. After all, how can something not be able to have multi-tasking genius?
Psychologists advise to track how many days you will not be repeated in the qualities that you like, and try to increase this period, finding a new positive side. First results should not expect after a week of exercise: it is long work, but it sure will bear fruit.
Feature self-criticism from the self-flagellation
However, do not assume that it is necessary to completely abandon self-criticism. Doubt - an indispensable part of personal development. Moderate self-criticism keeps us from decision makingThat may do harm. Therefore, it is important to honestly assess their strengths and weaknesses.
But it is equally important to remember that fail - it's okay if you have taken out of it a rewarding experience. If you start to blame yourself for every wrong step, self-criticism turns into self-flagellation.
It is not necessary to abandon the only possible because of the chance to play. The main thing - to draw the right lessons from the wrong actions. And the foolish self-criticism should not prevent it.
see also🧐
- How to overcome the fear of failure and begin to move toward its goal
- 6 good reasons to abandon perfectionism
- How to negotiate with your inner critic