How to become a confident and enjoy life

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Have you ever felt loser? Most of us are familiar with this condition.

It may seem that everything is created multibillion-dollar projects are the stars on YouTube are popular in Instagram. Deep inside we know that 99% of people are not going anything. But when we see all these lucky people in front of him, then we cease to think about reality.

Whatever you want - money, fame, travel, or none of the above - it all comes down to your confidence. It will be enough to send everything to hell and realize a cherished dream? Maybe you are confident enough to say: "To hell with all this nonsense, do not you need me" - and were pleased with yourself?

Self-confidence is important for anyone who wants to get his own. Whatever you want, a lack of belief in yourself will hinder you to achieve this.

Studies showMeasuring self-esteem in context: the importance of stability of self-esteem in psychological functioning., Self-doubt leads to depression, loneliness, understated academic results and dissatisfaction with life.

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For years I have studied this phenomenon and the most substantive theory, which I found, says the confidence at the expense of competence.

In 1952 in Educational Leadership magazine published an article "Self-confidence for competence", written by Bernice Milbern Moore (Bernice Milburn Moore). In this paper, the author discusses the role of confidence in the teacher's career, but the knowledge of the essence of this article will be useful in any area.

Definitions of self-confidence that you can find more or less the same. Moore treats this concept as a self-confidence and readiness to face any situation. But more importantly, the author adds the following.

The self-confidence without competence no more sense than competence without confidence.

Bernice Moore Milbern

In other words, the study in business school can give you competent. But using it to control the real company, you will gain confidence. These features are useful only when complementary.

This principle works in both directions. overconfidence without competence does not cost anything - from empty words do not write a business plan. You should feel free to express their opinion, but at the same time it is important to have the knowledge that can match words.

Gain self-confidence

So, you become more confident as how to improve the results of your actions. This pattern, confirmed by experience.

How can apply this rule? Process described below is very simple, but to follow it, will have to work hard.

1. Increase their competence.
2. Use them in practice.
3. Analyze the results.
4. Become more confident.
5. Repeat all over again.

But if I do not see the results? In addition, I have no time to practice

If you are looking for an excuse, it's your right. This is your life. But this technique is to improve the self-confidence is based on real, tangible action, not on self-hypnosis. Confidence comes of itself as if by magic.

Daily you can say that you are confident, glad of such a life, or something else, but without actions that bring results, you never really believe in themselves are not.

This is the weakest point in many theories of self-improvement. Yes, positive thinking, self-hypnosis, goal-setting - everything is fine, but nothing without real action.

How can you gain confidence by doing nothing? It's impossible.

Nothing so enhances self-confidence and self-esteem, how to achieve success.

Thomas Carlyle, British writer and philosopher

What competences should I raise?

The answer to this question depends on what you're aiming for. But there are skills that are useful to all.

• Emotional intelligence. According to research, people are social by nature. Without good relationships a person can die. If you want to maintain a strong relationship with other people, you need a high emotional intelligence - understanding of other people's emotions and how they respond better. It can be learned.

• self-awareness. You can develop this quality, constantly analyzing himself. Record important thoughts, try to understand his motives. Define what you could do better, and what is already good. Study yourself.
• Decision-making skills. Modern school system was formed in the era of the Industrial Revolution. We are taught to be the spokes of a wheel. We do not explain how to solve problems in difficult situations. Instead, we are doing what we are told. But the world has changed since then. Today, the winner is the person who takes the necessary decisions.

Make no mistake, though enough to want, and life will be better. When you start to work on the goals and see the results - a stronger body, more energy, money or anything else - you believe in yourself.

And now deal with the case progresses, watch for the results, repeat the process and become self-reliant.