Why not overpraise children
Motivation A Life / / December 19, 2019
People who in childhood was often called geniuses in adulthood face problems. Jo Boaler - Stanford University professor - explains why it is not necessary overpraise child.
No matter at what age an intelligent person understands that he is intelligent. Once this happens, it becomes vulnerable and tries to follow this label. Therefore, the difference between being a child say, "You did a good job," and in order to call it intelligent, yet there.
While you praise a child, he thinks. "Oh, yes, I'm smart" But in the future, when he does something wrong (as he did), it becomes a "Turns out I was not smart. Others may think of me the same thing. "
This leads to the fact that the child begins to feel the fear of making mistakes. A mistake - this is what leads ahead in the learning process.
Stanford University professor Joe Boaler advises careful approach to the choice of compliments:
You can tell the children that they have done something incredible or fantastic, but do not hang up on them the label of genius.
People are born with natural cognitive differences, but these differences come to naught if the child often talk about what he is special - says Boaler. Growing up, these children are less likely to compete and to learn something new as well feel in a comfort zone and are afraid to come out of it.
Such a limited mindset persists when the children become adults. And for the most part, this happens due to the fact that their overpraise childhood.
In 2006 in his book The New Psychology of SuccessCarroll DUEK described two types of people:
- With limited mentality (fixed mindsets).
- With a progressive mentality (growth mindsets).
People with progressive-minded believe that the more and the harder they work, the smarter and more successful will be. "The more you praise a child in a child, the less likely that it will receive a progressive mentality," - says Boaler.
If you give your child to understand that mistakes - it was good and that successful people make mistakes, too, you can dramatically change his life.
Boaler also believes that talking to the child that he does not have to something abilities - is silly. In this case, he will begin to write off their own mistakes on the lack of ability and will soon cease to grow.
Mistakes allow your brain to develop. This is especially important in a young age. Do not tell the children that in any activity there is a wall that they were not overcome. This wall does not exist.