REVIEW: "To take or give? A new look at the psychology of relations, "Adam Grant

The modern world requires us to manifestations of rigidity in the daily struggle for a place under the sun. We look at the leaders and imbued with confidence that only the ability to take their enabling them to succeed. But this is true only under one condition: all the games that we play, it is a zero sum game. In other words, when someone wins, someone always loses. Then we take really is important to learn as much as possible.

But studies show about something else entirely: it is their behavior, we define the rules of the game. If you want to not only earn as many points, but also to increase their total number, you need to strive not to take, but to give.

Adam Grant

Adam Grant - the youngest and the most popular among the students of Professor Wharton School of Business. Devoted more than ten years of professional life studying the psychology of relationships in a variety of structures - from Google to the US Air Force.
Authoritative BusinessWeek magazine included Adam Grant in the World Top 40 professors under the age of 40 years.

According to the research, on the lower steps of success are those who give. Taking the cost much higher. But here's the paradox, on the top of the success ladder, too, are giving. Thus, there are only taking the middle.

Book "To take or give" It based on numerous studies. Studying the nature of giving, taking and exchanging, Adam Grant has established very clear relationship between success and the type of your behavior. He also did a great job and answered an important question - why give or achieve great success, or roll down the stairs. This reason is very simple and does not depend on social status or ability. It depends on what type of perception we choose and how to behave with others.
In fact, this book is not only to respond to such a contentious issue - take or give? Here it is one of the most important components of success in life. On this component already mentioned many times Keith Ferazzi, Jim Collins, Andy McGonigal, Tom Peters and many others. But now all finally fall into place.

Below are the main ideas and interesting facts from the book:

• There is one thing that distinguishes success from the success of taking giving: it applies to all. When taking benefit, usually in the neighborhood are the losers.
• Such seems counterintuitive, but it's true: the more altruistic you are in their relationship, the greater the benefit from checking out their connections and relationships. If your goal - to help others, then soon you will strengthen your reputation so much that she will continue to expand the universe of your ability.
• The True Cost of a person is revealed in his attitude towards those from whom he has absolutely no benefit.
• If you look closely, you can see an example of what makes a network of contacts give such powerful - an echo of the perfect action can be heard even after a very long time.
• People with whom we are connected, rotate in the same circles and have the same information. Weak links allow access to other social networks, and make it easier to find original solutions.
• Highly gifted people cause others jealous envy and with a high probability exposed antipathy and alienation from their side. But if these talented people - giving, they have at the back will not be the target.
• It is believed that the higher the level of psychological security, the more errors occur. But in fact, no more errors occur. Just people are no longer hide them and talk openly about the error.
• Adopting the point of view of another person, we tend to stay in their own system of values.
• Cumulative theory of intelligence - to invest time and energy in the acquisition of certain skills and fundamental knowledge, makes people interested.
• Interest precedes the appearance of talent. It turns out that the main reason for the development of talent is motivation.
• "Misclassifications irretrievable losses": assessing the value of future investments, we had the misfortune, ignoring what has been invested in the past.
• A good trial attorney must be both a specialist and a regular guy.
• Paradoxical pattern - the more you talk, the more it seems to you, you know the band.
• If your partner will understand that you do not push, he ceases to resist.
• Asking for advice is a surprisingly effective way to influence in those cases where we do not have power.

Studies show that there are two basic ways to influence: the dominance and prestige. Achieving dominance, we have to affect the impact because people think we are strong, formidable and imperious. Earned prestige, we influence others, as they have for us respect and admire us.

• When most employees are only obedient executors, authoritativeness and aggressiveness can be quite appropriate. However, if employees demonstrate creativity, offering new methods for making pizza and deliver it, the authoritarian style is not justified. If the employees of the companies approached their work creatively, the authoritarian leadership led to reduce yields by 14 percent compared with those companies where the leadership style was not so tough.
• Reasonable relationship to the care of others is the ability to give more than to take, but still have mind and its own interests, using them as a pointer to help choose when, where, how and to whom to help.
• A sense of its influence protects against stress and prevents exhaustion.
• As the giver to avoid burnout - in its contacts with the taker becomes necessary to share.
• The generous policies of equivalent exchange is the rule - never forget the good works, but sometimes to forgive errors and misconduct.
• Accounting relations - an explanation requests, which is visible concern for the interests of other people, not just their own.
• Giving is motivated to act in the interests of the recipient is greater than their own, which means taking care of it, not related to the value of the object itself. In comparison with the economic transaction, donation in itself has value.
• Life as a particle group with the ability to share her interests, identity, goals, values, skills, character, and experience gives us a sense of connection and belonging to a community. At the same time, life in the group, dramatically different from the others, allows us to feel our own uniqueness.
• Our social rules forbid us to be merciful, those who are too merciful, we ironically call the benefactors of the human race.
• People forced to publicly turn their intentions in a manner essential to identify with the behavior of a society, comply with further rules of behavior are less likely than those whose intentions were their private business.

Focus your attention and energy on how to change the lives of others, and success will come to you - as a by-product of your efforts.

There is a special type of books. Such books are indelibly changed man. These books are distinguished by the fact that after you have turned the final page, you know exactly what to do.

"To take or give? A new look at the psychology of relations, "Adam Grant

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