20 oddities corporate Japan World

Twitter user Marat Vyshegorodtsev He spoke about the unexpected, and sometimes amusing business practices, with whom he had a chance encounter in the last 7 years living and working in Japan.

About business correspondence

1. The first and most annoying: a lot of water emails and text messages. type:

• Hello!
• How are you?
• Can you talk?

Or 150 lines of the cliché-text in the message header, somewhere in the middle - one line per se, then 150 lines of the cliché-the conclusion and signature of all the regalia.

2. The Japanese sent the application to encrypt the backup. A password is sent another letter to the same address. What for? Who taught them this? Then answer to this letter, you put a text file or an image, and in response: "We have an antivirus does not allow attachments to open." Password usually is "12345" or something similar level of difficulty. For the convenience of the recipient, of course!

3. If the Japanese need to get the data in a structured way, he sends you to Her Majesty Excel-spreadsheet

with a form to fill out. All anything, but it is sure to be a macro in VBA to validate all input fields. As without them. Mac users are particularly happy. Under the rules of the validation form, be sure your name does not fit, because you "gaijin" (foreigner), come in large numbers here. However, the macro will not tell you about it, he simply will throw an error "Invalid Input" in one of the thousands of fields that you fill out.

Classics of the genre: a screenshot, pasted into Excel, compressed into the archive with a password, the password - in another letter. Needle - in the egg, the egg - in the weft.

4. Any letter written zhutchayshim kantselyaritom. The art of knowing is not known even by the Japanese. They sincerely believe that a foreigner to understand the "sonkeygo" (polite style of speech) is not purely genetic.

5. Japanese are the wildest love for mass mailings marked "very important" or "required response", when in fact it does not matter and is not required. Then another will mail five times for reliability. Particularly sophisticated Japanese know how to "automate" the process of low-wage labor for hourly employees.

You'll have to get used to the letters of a group of 30 people in the copy. How did you get there, and why the topic is relevant to you - do not even know who you are to added. In Japan, there is no button Reply, only Reply all.

About work and leisure

6. In Japan, not to dismiss pending. And work, too, change is not accepted. As in the army, to increase pensions only for longevity. "Lifetime employment" is called.

7. Japanese companies are working on subtraction algorithm, and Western - addition. Conventionally, the Japanese begin everything from the position of 100%. For each jamb Head deduct points or two in mind. By the end of six months who has the most points (less than stocks) - Get increase and an increase to the bonus.

Western companies employees start from the 0% position and get every achievement score in the mind of the commander. Who has more points at the end of six months, one and done. Therefore, the United States decided to show off and decided not to shine in Japan.

8. Lunch - strictly at 12:00. At 11:30 - "I'm still not hungry," and at 12:30 at the Japanese already comes insulin shock. In any restaurant you will not get in the afternoon, but in the hour where the ball rolled down and at 14:30 had already closed all schools until dinner.

9. There is a myth that the Japanese work long hours. In fact, they blunt the whole day in meetings, respond to e-mail and Excel kantselyaritom lines are sorted 99% of the time. By evening, it is time to go home, but decided to leave early, if the head is sitting still. Therefore, all the same sitting.

But the chief does not go home because his children had gone to bed, and his wife, he does not speak for five years and he even a crisis middle aged.

Many people ask: "How did they do such cool products?" There is a speech about the office plankton: sales people, back office and other IT specialists, marketers, financiers. At factories harsh Japanese plow without prodyhu and condescending look at these sissies.

10. For me, Japanese management is characterized by a phrase from the novel about Handzavu Naoki "Achievements subordinates belong to the chief, the chief schools - the responsibility of subordinates." A great show, by the way, took off on it, I recommend.

About meetings and negotiations

11. On any win situation in the negotiations the Japanese resort to the last argument: "We in Japan so is not accepted." Although all they have and made.

12. Many foreigners stumble upon "nemawashi" (pre-treatment before making a decision). It had Japanese colleagues invited you to a business meeting to ask for your opinion. When in fact they have invited you to share the result of their collective decisions. For up to the meeting it was nemawashi, and all the ground was "dug up" in advance.

So if you want to offer bombicheskoe solution - for example: "Let's replace Excel on Google Forms at least?" - it is first necessary to gently colleagues over lunch to bring this thought. And then officially to nod their heads (usually in a dream) to meeting.

About the rules

13. Rules exist for the sake of the rules. "I did not come up with them, I do not cancel them, and I do not know why this rule exists, but will blindly execute it." That's why you'll never be able to wean from the Japanese Excel macros.

14. If the Japanese do not build, so that it was at 9:00 in place and tie, he did go to work, and cease to do it, too. They love the process of ceremonial works, and not the result. Of course there are exceptions.

About technologies

15. The Japanese do not use Microsoft Word. Generally. If something can bring to the table, it will be Excel. If you need a free tekstovka - divided into slides in Power Point. Any work the result will be either xls, or ppt. In the archive. Encrypted.

16. Register at any Japanese site requires:

• the name of the characters;
• surname characters;
• name in hiragana;
• the name in hiragana;
• email;
• email again - just in case you made a mistake in the first;
• mobile phone;
• landline phone;
• postcode;
• address, only Japanese characters;
• the name of the house in which you live (here at all apartment buildings have names);
• number credit card - be sure to input field is divided into four parts to auto-complete is not working;
• secret question in Japanese;
• the answer is only in hiragana;
• Date of Birth;
• passcode for telephone banking (if the bank);
• security code for mobile applications (4-6 digits).

Then "the application is accepted," and comes to you in the mail all the same, but already printed. On paper it is necessary to put Her Majesty print and send everything back.

And that's just to buy movie tickets online.

By the way, at the time, when you fill it all right 15 times, will be: "Your session has expired, start again." Or forbid the Buddha, press "Back" button in your browser.

about training

17. If you look at university education, The physics, chemistry, and other sorts sopromat Applied Engineering at the height there. This can be seen on cars, roads, bridges, consumer electronics, building materials. But with computer science there trouble.

Japanese programmers for the first time touched the industrial code while learning on the job (it is on the job training, OJT). In my university classmates in the master (!) More than hello world could not give. Why would they go to university - a mystery.

18. OJT - is a way to pay starvation wages to new employees after the first three years of university. At my last job on their badges were even nakleechka: "The first year of the OJT", "second", "third". Such as "spirit," "scoop", "demobilization".

About service

19. Japanese customer orientation with regard to visitors characterized by the following trick, which contains all the newcomers gaijin. To open a bank account need a phone, and to buy SIM cards need a bank account.

20. In general, the level of service in Japan bombichesky. The first reason why you do not want to leave here ever. Achieved such a level is pretty hard. Instructions for new staff in the cafe in thickness, as "War and Peace", you need to learn all by heart: without it to work does not allow it.

There's everything: a check payment after handing both hands and, with a bow, the degree of the bow as the change count coins and bills, how to take the card, what to do if the customer has broken through the toilet or complains to eat, how to greet visitors entering the store, and so on.

Stories from life

1. During OJT you almost do not give any real problems, paying minimum wages and bonus. And strongly suppress you as a person, in the form of loyalty to you the mentality of the company and its founding father - CEO.

Somewhere even recruits peregovorke locked up in the morning, and in a half-bow, they shout: "Irassyaimase!" (Welcome) to the evening or hoarseness (whichever comes first). And the chief, like in the army: "Deeper bow! Shout louder! Private Yamada-kun, I can not hear! "

Some companies have decided to immediately send new recruits to the army on the charges. Seriously. In the army, they are taught to be on time, and get out of bed to fill. In general, the most necessary knowledge for future bankers and developers.

2. In my last company of recruits only come from universities, forced to sell the "Cold-formed 'contracts for credit cards. It was necessary to call to anyone: families, friends, Classmates. Not less than 100 calls. Even lunch was not released, if not much came of it.

One girl at work there was no one to call, so it gained its own mother about 40 times, pretending to be someone else is calling. And then quietly sat and cried in the corner.

3. The cornerstone of Japanese corporate politeness - the state exam at the secretary. The example below.

The new chief has issued a thick stack of paper with the words: "in a hurry, as will the time, vbey everything in Excel». You thought no hurry and folded on the table. The next morning, the chief asked: "Well, has driven all the data?" You: "No more." Head out strongly dissatisfied.

Offer three examples of how to prevent such a dreadful situation to continue.

Examples of correct answers:

1. Learn deadline or propose your own. Make sure that Chief I agree with him.
2. Learn these habits of a new chief in advance.
3. If a lot of work, it is better to tackle it and to submit interim reports.

No, "the chief - asshole" - is the wrong answer.

The idea is that the steep corporate sharks have to read between the lines (in Japanese, literally - "read the air"). More importantly, what is not said rather than what is said. This secretary has its finger on... "honne" (true thoughts and intentions) your boss.