The power of loneliness, why all alone with a time of need
Relations / / December 19, 2019
You will never miss an excellent opportunity for no reason
If you refuse from an interesting trip just because you have no one to go, you are doing yourself a disservice. How many times have you wanted to do something fun and stayed only because it was not the company? "I will not go to the movies alone, it will not be so much fun."
Ratner Rebecca (Rebecca Ratner), professor of marketing at the University of Massachusetts, for many years studying the reluctance of people to do something alone. She believes that because of these prejudices people have less joy in life. The study, entitled "Prohibited bowling alone," she says, that people are constantly underestimate how nice it is to see a show, go to a museum or theater, have dinner in a restaurant without company.
You should not feel uncomfortable, if you decide to devote more time to yourself.
This becomes a serious problem when you automatically waive cheerful pastime, if he is not one to share. Not only that, your life becomes less joy. Time - limited resource. And, most likely, to the options you put off today because they were alone, you will not be able to come back later, it does not matter whether you have company or not.
If you're worried about what people think about you, if you sit in a restaurant or a movie theater alone, relax: nobody cares. Random people think about you a lot less than you think. If you did not mourn during his solitary dinner, and do not shout about how you are alone in the last row in the theater, no one will pay attention to you.
Freedom, independence and time for reflection
What's for dinner? Is there anything you want to. The zaymomsya night? Anything. What kind of music we listen to today? The most pop songs you love to sing his best, but you ashamed to include it to your friends.
alone time to get rid of democracy: no longer need to worry about the schedule of the other person, only his own. You can order food when hungry look movieWhat you like, and at a convenient time for you to be unpredictable and erratic - one not say a word.
You do not have to think how to entertain someone else. No need to keep up appearances, to try to be good, and worry not boring if other people. All that matters - whether you are a good time.
Take a moment just imagine you are gaining strength and energy to communicate with other people.
But most importantly, giving you time alone - an opportunity to reflect. You have so many thoughts in my head that only free time will help to understand them. Time alone sets a thoughtful way. Allowing his thoughts to wander, you get rid of stress, which pulls you down. At this time, you can really be yourself and to understand their feelings and experiences.
Self-sufficiency - the best character trait
Nothing raises the self-esteem as independent. The less you depend on others, the high altitude can achieve. When you are alone, you have to cope with problems on their own. You cease to be a cog in the system, you learn to be multi-functional tool. Due to this growing self-confidence and reliance, not only socially, but also in other aspects of your life.
When calling for help only when it is really necessary, you help yourself to expand its borders.
Moreover, when you are self-sufficient, no one is on the way to your goals, but you. If you know yourself decisionsOnly depends on you whether you are abroad, visit whether classes go, go to a concert liked the band or take in what has always wanted. Of course, freedom - a double edged sword. When you're in control of their actions, will not work to blame others, or seek support from someone. But maybe that is what prevents you from acting.
Feel great alone - not to be social phobia
Nevertheless, it is important to observe the golden mean. If you feel comfortable in solitude, it does not mean that you can not enjoy spending time with other people. This does not mean that you have to close from the world.
I love to spend time alone, but I like to meet friends together to play games, chat or poperepisyvatsya see "Game of Thrones." Every Wednesday I go to the meeting of the running of the club, and when I come alone to a place where there are other people who can strike up a friendly conversation. In fact, time alone helped me to develop social skills. It is interesting to meet people, unlike you. It is worth to know the world outside of your comfort zone.
Every time I am asked why I like to spend time lonelyI explain, but asked another question: "Why do you need other people to do what you want?" The usual answer that to spend time with other people nicer, someone is afraid to seem strange to other people's eyes, it's just some needed.
But sometimes my question hit the target. People do not know what to say. Think about why you do not want to spend time alone with him. Perhaps you feel that you need a co-pilot to maintain in case anything happens. But you will not know whether it is so in fact, has not yet made his first solo flight.