To keep the relationship, learn to accept the changes

Changes in the favorite person often cause rejection and lead to arguments. But in any long-term relationship, both partners will sooner or later change. The man you once loved, will inevitably turn into someone new, and not necessarily become smarter and better. Almost all of us of the climbers are turning into couch potatoes, from the rebels - in the mid-level managers of obsessed with sex - in the Loop on sleep. Sometimes, because of these changes, people feel betrayed.

When a loved one is no longer consistent with our expectations, we believe that he breached the contract.

Psychologists think about why this is happening. According to them, the problem may not be in the changes themselves, and our propensity for this error of perception as illusion of the end of history.

"People - is constantly developing beings who mistakenly believe that their formation is completed, - said the professor of social psychology at Harvard University, Daniel Gilbert during his performances at TED. - The person that you are now as well mimoloten, fleeting and impermanent, as well as all those people who you were before. The only constant in our lives - it changes. "

In 2013, Gilbert conducted the study with colleagues. All the participants (their ages varied from 18 to 68 years) reported that in 10 years they have changed much stronger than expectedThe End of History Illusion..

And if a change in itself, we can still adapt, here are the changes in the loved one can be difficult to reconcile.

And feeling like we're having, not only because of changes in people, but also because of the change of some objects or places. For example, many feel that the city in which they grew up, is now no longer the same: all the good men gone, and standing stores closed. It is curious that we can say it is one and the same place, not agreeing just who are these "good people" and that it was for "standing stores."

Nostalgia, which ignites our dislike for change - a natural human feeling.

To always be satisfied with my spouse, you need to learn to be happy with the different versions of this person. Many people who live in the second half for several decades, they say: "I had at least three marriages, all with one and the same person."

Perhaps the most defensible approach in this case - do not resist change, and give them happen. Such a reaction save in any situation where a loved one has changed too much, or, conversely, too little. Do not forget that you want to change or not, over time, they still occur.