How to say no, and at the same time not to offend anyone

I can not deny. That is, of course, try to politely say no, but I do it very rarely turns. Usually, all my attempts to politely refuse and it does not hurt or insult a person ends, or the phrase "well, I'll see what I can do." The most extreme case — this is False. I do not know whether the deception is a small, good or half true. This is a more complex question.

constantly deceive — not a very good yield, which eventually still lead to conflict, so you definitely get confused and zavrotes.

How refuse his boss, who again asks you to stay after work? How to say a firm "no" to his relatives so that they are not offended? How to make it clear to your friends that at the moment you can not help them?

In fact there is a huge variety of options, but we do not know about them.

Your proposal sounds very tempting but unfortunately now I have too much to do

The phrase "it sounds very tempting," you give a person to understand that the offer you are interested in. The second part says that you would love to have participated (or helped), but at the moment you have too many urgent problems.

Beautiful failure, but from my experience I can say that it is suitable for close friends or relatives once or twice, and even then not in a row. If you refuse them this way for the third time, the fourth you have no one offer. Especially it concerns parties, Picnics and other recreational activities.

Remember, once or twice — and then either change the social circle (you are for some reason they continually deny?) or go finally have at least somewhere. you will enjoy all of a sudden?

But for the people you do not see so often, the answer is perfect.

I'm sorry, but when was the last time I was doing / and so-and-so got / and negative experiences

Mental or emotional trauma — Another interesting option. Only a sadist would continue to insist that the person did what he did not like. Or optimist with the slogan "What if the second time would be better ?!".

While some grandparents, trying to feed emaciated son, answers "I do not eat meat," "I have lactose intolerance," or "I do not like cooked vegetables" do not work.

But if you say that the last time after you drink milk all day might not be in the company due to stomach problems, you may be saved. Grandma, of course, look at you a little sideways and with a slight reproach, but will not add to the bowl with the words: "Well, it's a home from Aunt Clara, nothing will be out of it!".

I'd love to, but ...

Another good way to refuse. You will be happy to help, but unfortunately, can not at the moment. But in any case, do not start up in lengthy explanations why.

Firstly, starting to explain something in detail, you will gradually start to feel guilty. And secondly, so that gives a person the opportunity to cling to something in your story and persuade you.

Only a short and clear answer. No essay on the theme "I'd love to, but you know, I have to do ...".

To be honest, I do not really understand this. Why do not you ask N, it is in this case a pro

It is in any case not the shooter translation.

If you were asked to do something or to give advice, but you do not feel competent enough, why not offer that, who really understands? So you not only do not offend the person, but also show that you care and you are trying to help you can.

I can not do this, but happy to help with ...

On the one hand, you refuse to do what you are trying to impose on the other — Yet at the same time help and can choose what you want to do.

You look fine, but I'm not quite understand

What to do if a friend bought a dress which, to put it mildly, it is not very suitable. This raises a dilemma, "Who is the greatest friend" — the one who tells the truth, or he who says that she looks great in all outfits?! This applies not only appearance, but also the choice of apartments, work and life partner, after all.

But who are we to talk freely on the subject of fashion? If we were, for example, well-known designers, then could criticize and immediately offer several other options to choose from.

And if not? Then either say things as they are, if you are confident in the adequacy of the girlfriend or friend, or to translate the arrows on some celebrities from the world fashion.

It sounds great! But I have, unfortunately, a very tight schedule. Let me call you back ...

Such a response is perfect when the option is interesting, but now you're not really able to help. So you not only do not offend the person, but also to leave for themselves the opportunity to join you are interested in the proposal later.

More lectures on psychology at the university, we were taught that it is necessary to refuse from sentence with the word "yes", and then adding the notorious "but".

It triggered it, though not always. It all depends on the situation and the person. Long bustle will not work and will sooner or later have to explain why still "no."

But if you are quite diplomatically and hard, then eventually people will know that if you refuse, it is not because you just too lazy or you do not want to have anything to do with them, but because you are a very busy person and always be able to, but slightly later. In the end, people should learn to respect you and your opinion. As, however, and you — someone else.