Social life hacking: how to behave with other people

By Eva said she had two graduates of meetings over the past year. On them, she learned that many former classmates and fellow students did not want to come to these meetings. The reason is simple: they do not like to talk about their work, considering it bad, and myself - invalid people.

As a result, Eve realized that it is not necessary to ask people about their work. Instead of the standard question, "Where do you work?" Or "How do you make money?" She asks more neutral: "What are you keen on?"

First, the answer to this question leads to a much more interesting conversation. Second, it does not create an awkward situation when a person is ashamed of, or for some reason do not want to talk about their work. Here are other tips, which Eva wrote on Quora and that can help in communication.

Develop charisma

Study Kabeyn Olivia (Olivia Cabane) has shown that charisma - is a skill, and it needs to be developed. As is the case with other skills to make it not so easy, but possible. Eva advises to start with, while talking to pay attention only to the other party and try to maintain eye contact. The following tips can also help.

Want to look attractive on a date - frighten partner

In 1974, psychologists Donald Dutton (Donald Dutton) and Arthur Aron (Arthur Aron) held study. They brought a group of men to the two bridges. One was made of wood and wobbly, the second - a concrete and strong. At the other end of the bridge stood a girl. Psychologists asked men to go on one of the bridges. When the men got over to the other side, the girl gave him her phone number and offered to go on a date.

The man said that this experiment is over, however, he had just begun. The essence of the experiment was to find out how to contact the fear, and the function as a call. It was found that men who chose a wobbly bridge, called more often. Later it turned out that this is due to experience fear: men quickens the pulse, they were sweating and the body to produce adrenaline. But their subconscious is believed that these symptoms are caused by attraction to girls.

Therefore it is better arrange an unusual and perhaps risky rendezvous. Chances are good that you'll seem so attractive.

If the person you are bored, tell him about it

Annoying neighbor on the plane or uninteresting to you people at the bar did not realize that they annoy you. And you will experience the discomfort of communicating with them, and show signs of passive-aggressive behavior. Therefore tactfully tell you not interested in conversation or whatever you want to do something else.

Forget about maps and GPS

Please tell the route - it is one of the best ways to meet new people. Do not stare at the cards, and it is better to ask for directions from a passerby and maintain eye contact, he will answer you. By Eva said she had lost track of a friend, whom he met in this way.

Ask interesting questions

Eva says that one of the best friends recently reminded her how they met. Eve at a party once asked him:

You're not one of those people who only talk about politics?

According to the other, it allowed them to get past the stage of talking about anything and immediately go to an interesting conversation. And this leads us to the next point.

Open the

IN study psychologists Nancy Collins (Nancy Collins) and Lynn Miller (Lynn Miller) two groups of students participated. The first group was asked to divide into pairs and meet, asking the standard questions: "Where do you work?", "What is your name?", "What kind of movies do you like?". The second group was given a special assignment. For example, look into each other's eyes for five minutes or to ask unexpected questions such as "When did you last cry?".

Despite the fact that the members of the second group feel uncomfortable, then between them to develop a more robust connection than in the first group. It follows from this advice: Do not be afraid to be unusual and surprising to the other party.

Do not be afraid to be rude

Do not be afraid to be rude and say no in situations where it should be done. For example, if you give up something that suggested to you interlocutor, and he continues to insist that he first showed rudeness. This means that you are free to show her back. We too overestimate the meaning of the word "no."

Do not let yourself be manipulated

Here are the more common techniques others:

1. mutual exchange equipment. If you want to ask something at the person, then the chance that he will make it much higher if you have done something for him.
2. Two requests instead of one. Another technique, which is useful if you want to ask something. First you need to ask for more than you need.
3. anchor technique. When you say "most people have sacrificed rubles X" or "Most of the staff working hours per week Y", you are tied to these figures. You subconsciously do not want to stand out, and you will be easier to manipulate.
4. Appeal. A man who appeals to you, give up much more difficult. This can also benefit.