How to talk about themselves, so that does not seem like a braggart

I'm not the greatest, I am doubly greatest. Not only do I knock it, I pick the round.

Muhammad Ali, the boxer

Mohammed Ali It was not only one of the best boxers of all time, but also one of the best bouncers. Brag effect on Ali's career is very positive, but the vast majority of people, it only hurts.

Attributing itself merits too much, you run the risk of being branded a braggart. While many people make the mistake and absolutely the opposite: too afraid to seem immodest, they deliberately belittle their achievements or does not say about them, even when the situation calls It requires. For example, in interviews or during reports at work.

All this is due to not knowing how to present yourself. Below we consider four tips from the best public speakers about how to talk about yourself and not make mistakes.

1. Do not spread rhetoric

When you have something to show off, you represent directly on their achievements. Usually you in paints describe their successes, share stunning detail and can not cease to remind everyone about how wonderful you are. Herein lies the mistake: the surrounding start to take you too pushy and arrogant. Therefore, they start avoiding you, protecting you.

Just when you share something with people you like to invite them to participate personally in the process and a closer look at what happened. You allow them to make sure that you are not unfounded, that your words are hidden for some real action. Instead of simply stating on their achievements, try to describe them, share them, talk about them.

Imagine that you are selling.

If you boast of its success, it would look something like this:

I sold ten times more than all the other managers of the company together. And we have, please note, there are more than a hundred!

If you just shared their achievements, it would look something like this:

Many people dream of becoming doctors, lawyers, scientists. Since my childhood I dreamed to be a good seller. Today, I almost got it. If you are interested, I will tell in detail.

From the example above, it becomes clear that the only difference lies in the approach. It recommended it to share information with others, and then confirm it by concrete examples, not just dump to interlocutors a bunch of no verified facts.

2. Strive to find a common language with people

When you brag, you always emphasize the difference between themselves and the people with whom you communicate. Your goal at this point is to show how different your life from the life of other people, how you are better than everyone else.

You seek to demonstrate its superiority. You work moreThan all the others. Are you smarter than everyone else. You are smarter and better than everyone else. As you have more determination and courage. So you and the light of self-satisfaction. Do you think it's someone like that? Wrong.

When you just share something with others, you talk about their successes, but add additional comments that explain how you were able to achieve all this. They serve to unite you and your audience. You do everything in order to make people feel as if involved in your success, share with them their victory. Thus you zoom in and dispose the audience to imagine.

Imagine that you have just received a diploma of higher education.

If you boast of its success, it would look something like this:

I graduated from Harvard Law School, I - King of the world!

If you just shared their achievement, it would look something like this:

Like many of you, I had the opportunity to receive higher education. Like many of you, I went through a long and difficult path. I, like any other person, like to win, so I worked hard to get this long-awaited diploma.

3. Do not look for admiration, share experiences

When you have something to show off, you are trying to get other people to appreciate what you have done. In his speech, you focus on the feelings and experiences, and forget that the rest of the people is not very interesting.

When you just share something with others, you set your order to give them an experience that was so valuable to you. You try to explain that if they will experience the same things as you, then perhaps it would be very useful for them. Maybe it will help them look at the world differently and somehow change their lives.

Imagine that you have visited some social event and want to share their impressions of him.

If you boast, it would look something like this:

I sat next to host a party, and he is a very influential person. Many come here just to talk to him, and he chose as his interlocutor is me!

If you just shared their impressions, it would look something like this:

Once it so happened that at the event, I sat down not far from the host party. By the way, he is currently CEO of a large company. I asked him what it was like at all to be the CEO. He replied that it was difficult because you have to watch every word and action. It made me think about how really hard to live all more or less famous people, because they have all the time in the spotlight.

When you are dealing with people who try to do so, so that they can feel involved in your story appeared in the center of the story, an example of it on yourself, even if them never happened nothing like.

4. Do not play the hero

When you have something to show off, you have to tell people the story of how to become a superhero. You - the main character, and every detail of the story indicates this. Are you by any means trying to convey this information to others.

Just when you share something, you talk not only about themselves. You are more like Frodo in "Lord of the Rings." He - one of the main characters, but he understands that without Sam, Gandalf and other minor characters the story would not have turned out so bright.

Imagine that you are the only and the best expert in any area.

If you brag about it, it would look something like this:

I - an expert and see you all through. I can just walk into a room and instantly see all the violations. I know what levers to push, to solve all your problems.

If you're just trying to help, it would look something like this:

I - an expert and understand that I just need a little help other people to understand the situation. There are professionals and they know as much as I do. We will try to become an effective team to quickly solve the problem.

No need to build from a patron, to hide behind false modesty and all zapudrivat brains. We should not give all the credit to himself, compromising the achievement of others. Let people know that alone you would not have the right, and then they migrate to your liking.

results

To leave itself the right impressionAlways thinking about how what you say. Do not play the hero, do not look for admiration, share experiences, seek to find a common language with people and not spread: rhetoric. Remember these four simple rules and try to use them when you want to tell someone about yourself.