5 reasons to disappoint others
Relations / / December 19, 2019
Respect, sensitivity, the ability to listen to the other - integral parts of human relationships. But sometimes they make ugly, exaggerated features. This occurs in cases when a person donates their own well-being for the sake of someone's peace of mind or because of unwillingness to come into conflict.
American psychologist Kyuriel Ashley (Ashley Curiel) argues that this behavior is counterproductive, as as a result, both remain unsatisfied: the one who projects the expectations, and whoever tries to justify.
To avoid such a sad ending, it is necessary to cease to care about someone else's opinion, and even disappoint someone. Kyuriel gives five good reasons to do so.
Disappoint someone you need to ...
Live your life
We all know people who live for the sake of someone's approval. It is they who are accountants and doctors, because as parents want, while they themselves dream of being artists and writers. Such people may spend a lifetime in the embodiment of someone else's dream. Worse yet, they may have to impose their own children dream. In the end, it all turns into a kind of endless suffering of the baton.
Of course, if someone from the family gives you good advice, and you feel that it will really help, that's great. Otherwise it is better to think about what exactly you want, and may make a decision that is not likely to appeal to others.
To get out of an unhealthy relationship
Common situation: the relationship (love and friendship), taking one-sided, when one person all the time gives and the other receives only. In such a union the first partner feels used and emaciated, and the second - happy. That he will protest in the case of termination of the relationship, perhaps even begin to clash openly, manipulating and blaming the partner of all mortal sins. Render such an attack is hard, but this is the price for leaving the destructive Union.
Start all over again
People change, and at some point he can see himself in a different way, to want something else, in general, to discover a new facet of his own personality. Alas, as in the preceding paragraph, his relatives are not always able to accept these changes. They can simply ignore what the person really is, or who he can become.
If you find the courage to end or limit relationships with these people, you will have a chance to let into your life someone new. Someone who will really take your personality and not comfortable and familiar version of your personality.
Throw unloved work
No matter how perfect the work may seem at first, there is always the possibility that over time people will grow cold to her. This does not mean that it will become a heavy burden - will simply cease to bring pleasure. However, people may be afraid to leave it because of the commitment of the staff or the chief.
In such a situation it is better to weigh the good. Dismissal may not always be the right solution. But if you feel that you have reached an impasse and there is no alternative, it is better to give up work, despite the possible frustration colleagues.
Reach new career heights
By analogy with the previous scenario, a person can first enjoy the work, but at some point reach the ceiling. In this case, the career. If he feels that he is capable of more, and the company has nothing to offer him, then, in spite of his high office and possible discontent subordinates, he should think about dismissal.
Whatever it was, a sense of responsibility for others should not interfere with personal and professional growth. And it sometimes involves changing workplace.
A person who decided on such fundamental changes must be prepared to surrounding backlash. The best course of action in this case - do not resist their feelings, but do not forget about their own needs.
What if you disappoint someone
1. I apologize for the pain you caused. But at the same time make sure that the apology did not touch your own choice.
2. Turn to meditation. It helps to better understand themselves, to settle down and start a conflict without excessive defense or aggression.
Through meditation, you can also try to change the negative attitude of the other. Try to end the practice of sending him "light pulses". This technique is able to have a powerful impact. At least, you do start to treat your opponent with great warmth, and it has already increased chances that the quarrel will not take on a gigantic scale.
3. And finally, sometimes it's better to do nothing. Give people time (and space) to understand your decision. Perhaps, after a break they will return to you and offer their help.
In any case, even if you feel uncomfortable and want to immediately resolve the situation, find a temper. Then it increases the likelihood that the surrounding will be more tolerant of your choice.