7 ways to protect yourself from the negative

Do you have any friends or colleagues who are constantly cranky? They complain about the life, work, friends and family members. They are not satisfied with their health, weather, road, and a new hair color Jared Leto. The list is endless.

If you've ever talked with a man, you probably have experienced how hard it after a conversation with him keep a positive attitude and not to fall into despair. But such people are not as rare. And it is not always possible to avoid interaction with them.

In order not to give a person, radiating negative, suck all the energy out of you, try to follow these guidelines.

1. Set boundaries and guard them

It is very difficult to deal with people who are stuck in their problems and are not able to focus on their solution. They want around 24 hours a day, provided moral support and shared their pessimism. You do not interrupt their endless complaints, because you are afraid to be rude and chorstvym. But one thing - to provide emotional support, and the other - the most up to his ears stuck in the swamp of negativity.

To avoid falling into the swamp, set clear boundaries and keep a distance between themselves and the source of negativity.

Just think, you have become the whole day to sit next to someone who smokes one cigarette after another, and to enjoy a smoke? Unlikely. Therefore, stand back and take a breath of fresh air. In all senses.

If in the near future, you have no way to protect themselves from a society persistently negative-source, try to neutralize him, asking how he is going to solve the problem, which is constantly complains. Often this is enough to ensure that the source has closed or turned the conversation topic in a more constructive direction. At least for a time.

2. Do not let the other person get you out of yourself

Emotional reaction shows that we can not assess the situation objectively. Emotions can to have you for a couple of seconds, and can take complete control of your behavior. If a person, radiating negative, could make you angry or unbalance, which means that you can not save a sober look at the situation.

When you are confronted with the negative behavior that hurts you, do not answer an insult to the insult. Keep your dignity and do not descend to the level of your interlocutor. Try to mature to the root.

3. Have to go to lighter topics

Some people go to the only negative about their patients so. You these topics may seem rather harmless. For example, if someone is dissatisfied with his work, he will mention it on any occasion, to the place and out of place, and constantly complain about it. If you try to insert a positive comment, you throw out an even greater dose of negativity.

Do not try to change the interlocutor to the patient for his subject. Perhaps his problems related to this topic, it is much deeper than they appear. The best solution would be to propose to change the subject to a lighter and positive. Share funny stories, pleasant memories - anything that can distract your buddy from the obsessive thoughts.

4. Focus not on the problem, and its solution

That, on what you focus your attention, it affects your emotional state. If you concentrate on the problems encountered, you only increase the negative impact of stress factors. If you are looking for a way to improve the current situation, you feel satisfied, which causes positive emotions and helps to overcome alarm.

The same principle should be used when dealing with negative people. Just stop thinking about how much you annoying companion. Instead, ask yourself how you can influence the behavior of this man, that it does not bring you any inconvenience. So you will no longer be able to survive and bring the situation under control.

5. Abstracted from the opinions of others

People who are successful usually think internality. This means that according to the ideas of such people their well-being depends on them. Psychologists call this property of the individual internal locus of control. Negative people tend to shift responsibility for your life at others and blame others in all that happens or does not happen to them. They demonstrate an example of externalities locus of control.

If your self-esteem and satisfaction depends on the opinion of other people, you can not be happy without someone else's approval. When emotionally strong people believe they are doing something right, they do not allow superficial judgments and sarcastic comments of others knock them out of the way.

You're not as good as you praise when you win. But not as bad as they condemn you, when you lose. What is important is what you have learned and how you use the knowledge gained.

6. Do not try to fix other people

You can help some people, showing them an example. And some - can not. Do not let the energy vampires and manipulators disturb your inner balance. You can not control what can not be controlled.

If you do not like something in the behavior of the person, whom you love, and you hope that over time it will change, it is best to leave these hopes. The probability that it will remain the same as it was too large. If you really want to change something, be honest with loved one and lay all the cards on the table. Let your spouse know what you feel and why you feel.

However, in most cases, you should not even try to change the other person. Take it for what it is, or walk away from his life.

It may sound too harsh, but this is the best option. When you try to change a person, in response, he often begins to resist and you get the opposite effect. But if you leave these efforts and will simply maintain that man, giving him the freedom to independently determine how it wants to be, gradually, he can change himself. And change miraculously. Perhaps it will change your whole approach to this man.

7. Take care of yourself

Do not forget about yourself just because others do the same. If you have to work or live under one roof with a constant source of negativity, make sure that you have enough time for rest and recovery of domestic resources.

Always maintain proper unemotional perception the situation is difficult. Due to the negative people you can not sleep at night, wondering, "What am I doing wrong?", "Am I so bad that they talk to me that way? "" Maybe I'm somewhat offended him? "" I can not believe what she did to me! ", and so Further.

You can experience for weeks, months. Even years. Unfortunately, sometimes this is the purpose of the negative person. He strives to bring you out of yourself and drop you down to their level of negative thinking. Therefore, take care of yourself, so that in the future you could easily repel the attacks of emotional vampires.

And finally ...

No matter how hard it was to admit it, but sometimes negative source is you. At times, your inner critic brings you much more experience than the surrounding. Try to negotiate with him on and off this critic at least until the end of the day. This simple tip will help you feel much better.

Negative thoughts will not help you cope with problems and will not make you better. Keep this in mind.