Why with age we lose friends
Relations / / December 19, 2019
We begin to make friends in junior high school. Gradually they are becoming more social circle expands and reachesSocial Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-Analysis plateau in 25-30 years. After this level communication begin to melt, and the number of friends decreasesFriendships and Adaptation Across the Life Span an average of 38%.
Try to understand why this is happening and how to deal with this problem.
How does the friendship as we grow
As a child, we have been friends mostly with children from class or neighbors. At this time there are no special interests, intimate conversations and intimacy. children shareFriendships and Adaptation Across the Life Span games and activities, learn to empathize with others and to join together to achieve a common goal.
During adolescence (13-19 years) we keep part of friends from my school and make new. At this time, close peers partly replace our parents. There is intimacy and mutual support, we learn to open up to another person, to trust him and understand what he wants. As friendship prepares teens to create a pair.
In his youth (19-30 years) social relations are at their peak.
We lose some friends, but the broken contacts with more than makes up new ones. Classmates, colleagues, first, partnersTheir friends and acquaintances - social circle is wide and varied.
And after 30 years, our relations slowly begin to evaporate. teens spendFriendships and Adaptation Across the Life Span with friends 29% of waking hours, and the average age of this figure drops to a mere 7%.
By age 65, 12-22% of people remain without any friends. And though time communication pensioners more, many simply do not communicate with anybody. The old link is lost, and a new start is difficult.
Why age friends are lost
There are several reasons why the adults are no longer actively make new contacts and friendships lost.
Changing needs and objectives of communication
Adolescents and young people thinkSocial Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-AnalysisThat they will live forever. At this time, the priority of gathering information about the world, and for this purpose it is best to fit a variety of social contacts. Young people communicate with everyone, easy to make Looking and strive to peers.
With age, the picture changes. People are aware that life is finite, and it is necessary to spend it on something nice. Number of friends begins to decline: there are only those who provide emotional intimacy and warmth. The rest ruthlessly expelled from the circle of friends.
Priorities shifted to family
At first marriage extendsFriendships in Young and Middle Adulthood social circle: people come together with friends and relatives of the couple. But over time, priorities shifted on the family. Spouse provides to the person that he used to receive from friends: become a partner for entertainment, satisfies the emotional needs - provides support and comfort, helps mentally and physically.
With the birth of children, this effect will only increase. A small child takes a long time, the range of interests varies greatly, especially when compared to childless friends. Often people turn to familyAnd friendships disappear by themselves.
Do not have time to communicate
Like marriage, access to employment may increase the number of friends. People often communicate with those who are in some ways similar to these: shared view of the world, has similar interests and social status.
The probability of finding such a person at work is quite highSocial Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-Analysis.
At the same time old friends gradually disappear - because of lack of time and the growing gap in the interests and status.
Interfere with life circumstances
In 68% of cases, friendship in middle age ends by accident due to the fault of circumstancesFriendship in Later Life: A Research AgendaSuch relocation. Only 25% of people deliberately terminate the relationship, as a rule, because of the treachery.
Also in such circumstances include accidents: the death of a sibling, spouse or child. After traumatic events connected with friends may become loose due to grief and unwillingness to maintain contact.
A series of circumstances and the lack of time left us with no close friends. This is natural, but nothing good about it. After all, friendship requires a person not less than healthy sleep and sports.
Why friendship is needed at any age
From childhood friendship defines our health and well-being. Children and adolescents who have friends moreFriendships and Adaptation Across the Life Span interested in their studies and do better in school subjects than single guys. Emotional intimacy with peers increases confidence and reduces the risk of depression.
The average age of friendship still mean a lot to a person. Although relations with the spouse affectPositive, Negative, and Ambivalent Interactions With Family and Friends: Associations With Well-being on mental health stronger in touch with friends is worth right after them and is important to communicate with relatives.
In old age, intimacy and social support to helpTrajectories of cognitive decline and social relations preserve cognitive function and social exclusion, on the contrary, worsensFriendship in Later Life: A Research Agenda health and quality of life.
This confirmed the Grant Study, 75-year-old large-scale studyWhat you need for a good life? The lessons of the longest studies of happiness life of more than seven hundred men from different social classes, try to understand what really makes people happy and healthy.
It turned out that those who have a strong relationship with family, Friends and their community, live happily and longer keep a good mood and memory than those who remained alone, or not satisfied with their relationships.
Try not to lose friends: loneliness kills.
How not to be left alone
The only way to improve something in every sphere of life - to give it time. And friendship is not an exception.
Maintain old relationships
Friendship is not staticFriendship in Later Life: A Research Agenda: It is formed, supported and decomposes. At any point in the life of closeness between people can grow, fall down or remain the same, and at what level will be your relationship depends on your investment.
Meet with friends, call them, be interested in their lives. Try together to do some business, important for both of you. For example, with run in the morning on the weekends to go to the movies, do something good or just once a week to meet for a cup of coffee, but - always! - without gaps.
Change the environment to have new communication
TheorySocial Network Changes and Life Events Across the Life Span: A Meta-Analysis Social convoy reads: Lifelong us accompanied by a group of people, which varies depending on the circumstances. Each change in the medium term can give you new friends.
Get a new hobby: sign up for any workshop, go to group sessions in the gym, get in your hometown communities of interest. You can find each other at any age, and the older you get, the more meaningful and deeper will be a new relationship.
see also🧐
- 10 odd friends who have each of us
- Friendship under duress: what it is and why you should get rid of such a relationship
- 11 signs that it is time to end a friendship
- How not to lose friends and make new