Why a man does not make a proposal and it is necessary to insist
Relations / / December 19, 2019
You is not the first year together, but did not discuss the future together, do not make plans, and the partner is constantly jokes, when you pick up a theme wedding? The man has a reason for it, and you have - the ability to change the situation.
Why partner does not call marriage
1. He has no money for a wedding
The man may have heard from you: "I dream of the perfect wedding, I want to dress from Vera Wang, a ring from Tiffany and exit the ceremony in the Maldives." Of course, it is your right, but the partners may not be ready for such spending.
2. He is afraid
Men, too, is terrible. He is afraid of responsibility, he does not want to lose their freedom to become a family man and sad to lose friends. His fear that the passion between you fade away, and intimate life will come to naught. In the end, he was afraid that he could not provide for his family and give you everything you need.
3. He has a traumatic experience
Your lover is not a living example of a happy marriage. His parents are divorced, among friends, too many broken pairs. And he does not understand why he got involved in all this.
4. His previous marriage was unsuccessful
The man does not want to repeat the mistake, so do not hurry to tie themselves knot again.
5. He denies the institution of marriage
Legally married does not mean anything to him. It satisfied with the current state of affairs, and he saw no point in an empty formality.
6. He was not sure of his own choosing
Here, the problem may be in each of you, and in the relationship as a whole. Innuendo, frequent quarrels or, for example, fundamentally different visions for the future. Because of all this partner sees you as a wife. Maybe he does not like. Be with you it is convenient, but not enough to make a serious step.
7. He does not want to get married now!
He thinks about the wedding, but it is not a priority. he wants build a career, Buy an apartment and then take you to the altar.
8. He is already married
It happens. There may be options:
- You will not only his passion, but do not know about it. Partner conceals his legal spouse, and you're too in love to pay attention to some oddities.
- The man is in the process of divorce, which is long, and you do not want to talk about it until it's officially over.
How to stop worrying about it
Think about why you are so concerned about
We need to understand why you want to get married and worried about it. Cause "all the friends for a long time with the ring, and I still do not have" hardly compelling.
Pressure from family, too, should not hinder you to build healthy relationships the way you want it.
Marriage prisoner involuntarily, is unlikely to be happy, and you should understand it.
To you it is important that the relationship was strong between you reigned understanding and harmony? Or started all this for the sake of one day in a luxurious white dress and a stamp in your passport? First of all, you will be examined in themselves and determine the true motives.
If you want to get married, because they are afraid of losing him and think, if you can hold it only by means of marriage, the relationship probably have a problem.
You do not take marriage as a joint informed decision to start a family and to legitimize the relationship, but simply trying to save the situation.
However, you make it worse. Relationship problems should be allowed to marry, and not vice versa.
Understand the causes of the satellite
Much depends not only on your motives, but also on the reasons for which a man does sentence. If you know them, you will understand whether it is worth to experience.
Probably, you are afraid that your partner does not love you, so do not hurry to give a treasured ring box. But the matter can be quite different.
What can be done
1. Discuss the problem and find a compromise
Talk with your partner. Gently, delicately Engage patients to have a theme. Tell me why it's important for you, bring arguments (if any) and ask his opinion. Let him share with you their experiences.
If it turns out that he is not ready for the big expenses, explain that you are satisfied with a modest painting and a simple dinner with family and friends.
If partner has hidden resentment, discontent or fears, about which he had not said before, listen and together decide on further action. Make it clear that they are willing to listen to his opinion, and cherish the relationship. Remember about honesty, trust and mutual understanding.
Sometimes, the problem is sitting much deeper, and can not do without a joint campaign to the family psychologist. However, this should occur by mutual request.
2. Do not talk about the wedding continuously
Need not become intrusive and every day to ask, "Well, when it?" Excessive pressure will not help, but be calm and discreet place. A man should not think that marriage - it is a trap into which you somehow want to lure him as soon as possible.
3. Wait
If you are still discussed, you know exactly what the other wives in partner No, love is strong, and together you plan the future, just give it time. Arrange to return to the issue later. For example, when you reach the primary goals.
4. Make an offer for yourself
Maybe it's not quite what you dream about, but there is also an option. And it can work if the satellite inaction causes no psychological trauma, or another woman.
In Ireland, for example, there is a tradition: February 29, a woman could make a man an offer, and he had no right to refuse it. However, following a leap year - 2020 th, and you risk to scare off a man of excessive aggressiveness.
5. Humble
He just will not marry you. Or marry, but a very long time. Everything. Accept it. Prioritize and decide what is more important for you: a happy relationship with a loved one or a piece of paper from the registrar. Of course, it is not about when a man is already married or not experiencing feelings to you. He just does not want to marry.
see also
- How to Marry →
- How to apply to the registrar: instruction for those who decide to get married →
- 20 little secrets of a happy marriage →