8 signs that your relationship is not worth saving

Even the strongest couples sometimes experiencing difficult times and think about the separation. Each boiling point determines for itself. But here are some alarm bells, which indicate that salvage the relationship is likely to fail.

1. you gazlaytyat

Gazlayting - word, to which you can not pick up analogue in the Russian language, and therefore have to use the original termDefinition of gaslight. It is a form of psychological abuse, when one person tries to convince the other that he is inadequate, overly sensitive, sees the world as distorted.

Typical phrases in the arsenal gazlaytera: "You're exaggerating," "You just seemed! You still do not understand (a), "" Do not be so nervous! You do not say a word! "" No, I would never say such (a), why did you invent? ". Sometimes, all it says specifically to destabilize the victim, depriving her confidence in the adequacy of their own and make more obedient. So usually fed daffodils psychopaths and a manipulator.

In other cases, people gazlaytit your partner unconsciously, without knowing it - because they do not want to admit that he was wrong.

Whatever it was, the result of these manipulations can be very sad.

gazlaytinga victim sometimes experienceWhat Are the Short- and Long-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse? set of symptoms similar to the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. And in the most severe cases, the matter may end'Imposed Psychosis': A Case Variant of the Gaslight Phenomenon suicide.

A relationship in which one person regularly resorts to such manipulations, are rarely healthy. And save them, most likely, will not work.

2. In relationships you are interested only

It so happens that a couple has problems and misunderstandings, but it tries to razrulit only someone one. Read articles and books about relationships, constantly trying to discuss the situation, goes on assignment offers to go to the family psychotherapist. A second equal participant of the conflict does not do anything. In general, his whole appearance shows that he was, in general, do not care - let everything will be like.

Imagine that you, along with business partner opened a common cause, but in the end work and invest money only to you, but it does nothing. Most likely, you're a long time it will not be tolerated.

The relationship is also a common cause, which requires a commitment on both sides.

And if it is not, then, the couple simply has no future.

3. You feel disgusted

You can not without shuddering kiss this man, do not want it to have embraced. You endlessly annoying everything that does and says your half. Even just to be around - and it's disgusting. Some psychologists believeThe Four Horsemen: Contempt contempt main sign that relations We come to an end and the fight is not for anything. Because where there are such feelings, there will be a place of love, understanding and even sympathy.

4. You can not rely on your partner

Such a person can be well described by one word: untrustworthy. He's lying, lost in those moments when you need most of all, spending your back overall money constantly gets involved in some kind of trouble. And you know that in difficult times rely on this person can not: be lucky if he even would not toss you more problems.

Attempts to maintain such a relationship over time, will lead you to a dead end.

The world has too much volatility, and this is one of the reasons why modern people are constantly living under stress. In relationships we are looking for peace, comfort and confidence in the future. And do not waste time and energy on someone who can not give it all.

5. You do not just change each other

Or cheated someone one. The main thing here is this: a single change - sexual or emotional - it is still possible in some cases to calculate an error. Although here, of course, everyone has to decide for itself. But if infidelity occur regularly - and this relationship is not meant to be free, then the couple problems.

It turns out that, formally, these people together, but sleep, make friends and share their emotions with someone else. This means that the relationship there is nothing left to preserve and is, unfortunately, nothing.

6. Because of the relationship affected other areas of your life

For example, a partner forces you to give up your favorite job, does not allow to engage in hobbies and develop. Because of it you scorites with friends or parents, nervous, sleep poorly, lose health. All of this can be attributed to the signs of emotional abuse.

But it also happens that people do not want to cause harm to each other, but their relationship still run counter to the development or interfere with mental well-being. For example, one was offered a job abroad, and the other to go there and have to give up successful career. Or in cold climates, one is constantly ill and wants to move somewhere to the south, and another physically can not stand the heat.

If the people love each other and the relationship they are strong, you can try to find a way out.

But when the union is already on the verge of collapse, such differences are likely to become the last straw.

7. you avoid

You notice that your half does not want to spend time with you. Man has become cold and secretive, almost anything you are not divided, out of conversations. It's obvious that he builds some own, an isolated life and does not want you to let her. And it's not necessarily that it appeared someone else.

Just feelings ended, and then he wants to go down, even if he does not realize it yet. And if a person built a wall between you break through it is unlikely to succeed.

8. You find it difficult to open

You can not talk to their half of the souls. You do not want to discuss the problems in your relationship. You feel tightness, discomfort and rejection at the thought of to share with someone their feelings. Increasingly, silent and secretive.

Perhaps this happens because your partner does not, and devalues criticizes. Or you do not trust him because he is able to permission or excuse your secrets or use them against you. Or maybe you just do not feel the need to be honest with this particular person.

In any case, the symptom rather alarming: Healthy relationships are built on openness and trust.

Where it is not, it is hard to fix something.

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Naturally, any ideas or tips should not be a guide to action - just an occasion for reflection. The only situation in which you should be sure to break off relations, and as soon as possible - this is when your life and health danger. Physical abuse, threats or harassment clearly indicate that the relationship can not be saved. In other cases, it can still be remedied.