36 questions to help get closer with your partner

Several years ago the New York Times published an article "To fall in love with anyone, do it»(To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This). Mandy Len Catron (Mandy Len Catron), author of the article refers to a studyThe Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings Arthur Aron (Arthur Aron), conducted in the University of Stony Brook.

As often happens when psychological studies fall into the media, they lose some of the nuances. The real purpose of the study with a test of 36 questions was not to help people fall in love, but to make them closer to each other.

In a study of Arthur Aron of college students were asked to play a game in which they read the instructions on the 36 cards, divided into three parts, and do them. For each series of questions they were given 15 minutes, but they were not obliged to answer all 12 questions in each section. In addition, not all had enough of the opposite sex partner: in the experiment were more girls.

The only evidence of at least some impact of these issues on the occurrence of love was the fact that within a month a couple of participants in the experiment, is not familiar to this, married.

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Dr. Elaine Aron (Elaine Aron) He speaksThat these questions might as well be used for rendezvous with friends. Answer them together, and your intimacy will increase from question to question. Remember that you do not have to answer every question, but the more you uncover, the closer will become.

1. If you could invite absolutely anyone, who would you invite to dinner?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what field?

3. Before you call, you think through what you say? Why?

4. What do you mean "perfect day"?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? And for someone else?

6. If you could live up to 90 years and the last 60 years to maintain or mind or body of 30-year-old, what would you choose?

7. Do you have a suggestion or a feeling about how you will die?

8. What are the three things that as you think you are with a partner like.

9. What are you most grateful in your life?

10. If you could change something in the way you raised, what would you change?

11. Four minutes tell your partner your life story in as much detail as work.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow morning and get any quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell the truth about you, your life, the future or about something else, what would you ask?

14. Is there something that you've always wanted to do? Why not do so far?

15. What are the greatest achievement in your life.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What are your most precious memories.

18. What are the most horrible memories.

19. If you knew, would soon die, what would you change in your life? Why?

20. That friendship means to you?

21. What role is played in your life love and affection?

22. Name five positive qualities of your partner.

23. How warm and friendly is your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than other people?

24. What is your relationship with your mother?

25. Think of three truthful statements that begin with "we." For example: "We are both in this room feel ..."

26. Complete this sentence: "I wish that I had someone with whom you can split ..."

27. Share something that you think should know about your partner.

28. Tell us what you like in a partner. Be honest, this should be something that you would not say to a stranger man.

29. Share embarrassing stories from his life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? And alone?

31. Tell your partner what you have in it much.

32. Is there something too serious to joke about it? If so, what is it?

33. Imagine that you are dying and anyone can not talk. What kind of unspoken words would you most sorry for? Why do you still have not told them?

34. Your house is on fire, and after you have saved all family members and pets, you have the opportunity to save something of the things, but only one. What will it be? Why?

35. The death of someone in your family are you most upset? Why?

36. Tell us about your issue and ask a partner, as if he had decided it. Let him in a similar way to share the problem and listen your way to solving it.

Answer these questions together or if you do not yet have a partner or friend who wants to get closer, ask them yourself. In the first case, it will help you get closer, the second - will open new facets of personality.