10 mistakes that kill relationships on the vine

You have just entered an interesting conversation or go on a first date, and suddenly a contender for the title of the second half gives the gate turn. Immediately the question arises: what went wrong? Experts in the field of relations list several possible causes.

1. You do not look after themselves

These include bad breath, the stench from the body, and other signs of poor hygiene - in short, everything that immediately pushes you to other people.

If you fail to comply with hygiene rules surrounding the making far-reaching conclusions about your habits in a relationship. After all, if you do not have time, energy or inclination to take care of yourself, why would you care about the other?

Terry Orbuh (Terri Orbuch), author of books about the relationship, known as The Love Doctor for their performances in the media.

2. You criticize or try to control

People do not like being told what to do, especially in the beginning of the relationship. It looks too presumptuous.

Terry Orbuh: "In general negativity and criticism in the beginning - it's not something that attracts people. They like the opposite: positive and compliments! "

3. You need emotional

People do not like constantly to support those who can not support them.

Hal Runkel (Hal Runkel), a marriage and family therapist.

4. You are too emotional

More people do not like to think about what you can inadvertently hurt, said Runkel.

5. you ignorant

According to the surveySingles in the Dating Scene Want Nice Teeth, Suave Hair & Proper Grammar [Survey]. Conducted in 2013 among 5000 people, knowledge of grammar It is one of the first things that people pay attention when choosing a pair.

Bad grammar says that a potential partner or poor education, he did not consider it necessary.

Helen Fisher (Helen Fisher), anthropologist, chief scientific advisor dating site Match.com.

6. You do not believe in yourself

The same survey showed that confidence It is an important factor when choosing a partner.

Helen Fisher: "People who are not self-confident, often characterized by anxiety and low psychological resistance."

7. You have bad teeth

Respondents of the survey also reported that pay attention to the potential partner's teeth. If they are not all right, it means that it adheres to a poor diet or have health problems.

Helen Fisher: "We have evolved to seek out educated, mentally and physically healthy partners - people with good genes and good education that will help convey our DNA in the future. Potential partners, who do not have listed features are likely to be candidates for this unimportant. So we instinctively rejects them. "

8. You are too self-centered

People who think only of themselves - bad partners, because they do not care about the feelings of others. In addition, they are often careless and selfish in bed.

Healthy relationships are related to reciprocate when each partner's needs are important. No one wants to constantly be just a spectator for the other person.

Joseph Burgo (Joseph Burgo), a psychotherapist and author of "Caution, daffodil! How to deal with these types of narcissism. "

9. you pessimist

Of course, the relationship should be a safe place where partners can share their problems. But some are too zealous in this, focus on the negative, and in the end become a burden to others.

Joseph Burgo: "Especially in the early stages of the relationship we have shared in a mutually positive experience that strengthens the bond and are prepared to address future challenges. If one uses the relationship as a dumping ground for bad emotions, then the second is no reason to keep them. "

10. you contemptuously

Contempt expressed in the fact that one of the partners feels superior to the other and begins to behave just disgusting. He firmly points out the defects of another or throws expressive glances, ridicule and passive-aggressive comments - by and large shows toxic behavior.

Contempt - is the opposite of kindness. Despise - is like pouring acid on love and kill the relationship.

Michael McNulty (Michael McNulty), coach and psychotherapist specializing in relationship issues.

And that is able to extinguish your spark when meeting? Share answer in the comments.