Mental illness or the norm? How to understand what's going on with your child

In adolescence, many children have become quite unlike myself, rude, strange dress, listening to loud music, lost somewhere, or vice versa, just sitting at home. Parent can be difficult to understand what caused this change, and it can not always discuss it with your child or get professional advice. Whether this is related to hormones and will soon pass, or is the cause of serious illness?

Layfhaker collected on the Internet the most frequent complaints from parents and asked the experts how they are justified.

The child cuts on the hands of strange symbols and pictures

Self-injurious behavior helps to cope with strong emotions, stress. This is not the way to attract attention, so do not raise a stink. However, to pretend that nothing was happening, too, can not. The best thing a parent can do - talk with your child, find out the cause of this behavior, to maintain. If this does not work, visit psychotherapist.

child masturbates

People are starting to take an interest in their genitals as early as infancy. Masturbation - a normal phenomenon. So do not panic, hit on her hands, blame the internet and bad company. Realize that the child has grown up, and learn to knock on the door.

The child is constantly watching a horror movie

Horror movies help children cope with their inner fears and feelings: they try on the characters' lives and live it with them. This does not mean that the child will become a maniac in the future. However, psychologists advise to observe the mood offspring after viewing.

If a child after watching the horror is in a calm state, it is unlikely that parents should be alarmed. If he becomes agitated, it is necessary to help the child to restrict viewing, do not watch horror movies at night or watch them together.

Anastasia Mann

The child refuses to eat what I cook

If it looks good and feels good, then do not worry. Perhaps he had a bite on the way, or he does not like what you are cooking. If the child was rapidly losing weight, looks depressed, worried about their appearance, it is best to see a doctor: the child could begin anorexia nervosa or depression.

If a child refuses to eat, in principle, although I eat normally, it is necessary to check its health, to ask how he feels, go to the doctor. Also keep in mind what happened in his life in recent years, whether traumatic events.

Eva Smakovsky

The child constantly crying

Most likely, your child engulf hormones and he still can not cope with them. This is normal. However, too frequent tears can talk about depression and neurosis. Look, there are no more any symptoms. You may need to consult a therapist.

It is desirable that when a child is crying, pronounce aloud his emotions. "You are now a sad, disappointing" It proved that the verbalization of emotional state reduces stress.

Anastasia Mann

The child is constantly rude to me and brings to tears

This does not mean that your child - heartless selfish and wants you dead. Simply, he entered the protest stage and wants to become self-sufficient as soon as possible. To reduce the degree of aggression, give him some freedom: let me walk a little longer, choose what he likes. However, the scope of what is permitted must establish the parents. You remain paramount.

If a child is rude, he should understand that this will lead to certain consequences: canceled a shopping trip or a weekend trip to the amusement park. But no less important to show that you do not cease to love him in spite of this behavior.

Anastasia Mann

The child became very withdrawn, does not communicate with peers

Either he fell out with friends, or he came depressionOr he suffered all communication online, and you do not even notice. In any case, figure out what is wrong. Express interest and be prepared to hear any revelation.

If in addition to the closure there were problems with eating and sleeping, depressed mood, passivity, is necessary to address to the psychotherapist.

Anastasia Mann

The child is constantly walking in a black dress

It's okay. He tries to express belonging to a particular style, to convey some message. No need to blame him, even if you think that the child looks messy and challenging. Ask him why he was so like the black clothes, what it means.

choice of clothing - one of the ways of self-expression. By itself, the black clothes of a child is not a cause for concern parents.

Anastasia Mann

The child is not doing anything, just sitting on the Internet

If it does not affect its performance, it is not necessary to worry. If the child began to walk to school, to lie, to sit up late, it is possible that he had developed a game or Internet addiction. In this case, do not raise a stink - so you do only worse. Talk to them honestly and openly. Perhaps this will help. If not - visit the therapist.

It is better to offer him the same ones that were previously appealing for him to pay attention to his emotions and feelings, to help cope with them.

Anastasia Mann

The child listens to music of a kind

No music, including metal, does not cause the development of mental diseases. It is simply a means of expression. If you are annoyed by the fact that listening to a child, buy him a headset or ask to make quieter. In no case do not blame the taste.

Try to understand and listen to the music you like a child - a good way to take an interest in and respect for his personality.

Anastasia Mann

The child looks too much anime

There is nothing wrong, only if the child has not ceased to eat, sleep and learn. In this case it is necessary to guard.

The fascination with anime, or acquaintance with a new culture there is nothing wrong or dangerous, except in cases where the basic plot linked to the main character himself. Ask what the child is watching to see whether or not to worry.

Eva Smakovsky

The child says he does not want to live

It is a cry for help, and you need to act. Show your child that you can trust, Promise not to scold. Ask tell me what happened, and get ready for any openings. The child could move the traumatic event and now it's really hard.

These words need to be taken seriously, even if it seems that it is a game and the desire to attract attention. Also in this case support is needed, and the parents themselves.

Anastasia Mann

see also

• How to behave when your child hurts →
• What to do if your child is watching porn →
• Why obedient child - it is bad →