How to teach your teenager to achieve the desired: the myths and the truth about setting goals

To set goals and achieve them is not taught in schools and universities. Parents themselves have to explain to the child why it is important and how to achieve the desired. Below - an exemplary diagram of how to talk with your teen about goals, as well as a simple and useful exercise that will help him to become purposeful.

mythology

Not everything they say about the purpose, can be trusted. We will understand, what is fiction and what is true.

Myth № 1. "Results can be achieved without goals"

The goal - it is like a lantern at night. Winding and stumbling, it is possible to reach the desired location. But it is not exactly. And with a lantern surmounted this way is faster and much easier. Goals not only give the right direction, but also to inspire the movement forward.

Myth № 2. "To set a goal, you need a reason"

That's how people that the beginning a new life He plans as of January 1, September 1 or, at worst, next Monday. All these stereotypes. During these periods of life, and so quite a hassle, so "beautiful" date is not the best time for major changes. Do not wait for a special occasion, today - a perfect day for it.

Myth № 3. "Everything will have to do everything myself"

Goals - an individual matter, but this does not mean that you can not count on help. Helping someone who knows exactly where he is going to be much nicer than the one who lives in doubts or without the desire to achieve something. Teachers, friends, relatives - everybody who is in the life of a teenager - certainly ready to help and support.

true

True number 1. "Goals are important"

Goals - it is an opportunity for teens to present themselves in the future, to understand, he dreams of a life. This understanding helps to keep peace of mindIt improves physical and emotional state and leads to success. Certainly in your neighborhood is a man who has achieved something meaningful. Encourage the adolescent to talk to him. Successful people can tell how he first set a goal as walked toward his dream, but at the same time to share advice and support.

Truth number 2. "Not all the set goals"

According to the research, the goal is only in three out of 100 people. And even these three goals often abstract and do not have a period of performance. Perhaps this is why few succeed. It is not necessary to focus on the most.

Truth number 3. "To be highly motivated and everyone can"

Tenacity - it's the same skill as the ability to read, write or count. From teen only takes desire to master it, as well as actions. It can start right this minute, that's the first task:

• Let teenager reflect what he wants to do what he wishes to achieve.
• Then let the record the thoughts in a notebook or on a piece of paper.
• You need to look in a notebook every day or hang a sheet in a prominent place.

That made three first step towards a sense of purpose. It remains to draw up an action plan and stick to it until the desired is reached.

What is a "goal stairway" and how to climb it

Ask your teen to imagine a ladder. At the top it is waiting for a dream. To get to it you need to climb up the steps, and each step - a small target on the way to a big dream. This is the essence of the "ladder goal."

To construct a "ladder", the following steps must be performed.

Step one. Select

In the beginning you need to decide what you want to achieve in the first place. Let it will not be too long-term goal, to train, to feel confident and inspired by the first results. In our example, this goal sounds like "find a place for training."

Step Two. properly formulated

The aim should be:

• concrete ( "get five on the exam in algebra," and not "learn algebra");
• measurable (it should be made clear what and how much needs to be done: for example, to receive five, read five books, to run ten kilometers);
• achievable (you need to realistically assess their strength: to become a Hollywood actor is unlikely to succeed for the year);
• important (teenager should listen to myself, if he really wants to do it or whether he came under the influence of friends, favorite program or movie);
• have a performance period (ie the need to always assign a date by which you need to achieve the desired).

If the desire to meet these criteria, you can proceed to the third step. Otherwise you will have to reformulate the goal. Here is an example.

Step Three. Decide on the action

Ask your teen to answer the question: "What should be done to achieve the desired?" We are talking about small steps that will help to reach the top of the stairs. It is better to come up with as many steps and record these actions in a column on a sheet of paper. It can be a call to someone, request for assistance, the study material, additional classes, mastering some skill.

Step Four. Fill in all the "steps"

In the resulting action plan is necessary to delete duplicates and items that appear to be useless. Then rewrite the remaining points of the plan in a logical order. For example, to get the top five on the control, you need to:

• ask the teacher what will be on the control;
• read a chapter from the book on relevant topics;
• review the material with the lesson;
• solve puzzles;
• pass the practice test;
• ask someone to check your knowledge.

The length of the "ladder targets" depends on the complexity of the target. What makes it more difficult, the more points.

Step Five. determine the time

The goal will remain a dream if you do not designate a specific time frame. All that is needed - is added to each "step" the date by which it is planned to perform a particular task.

Step Six. start to climb

On the very first "step" can be reached today. Doing the most simple action will strengthen teen sensation in my head, "I can!". You should not put off until tomorrow or Monday what can be done now.

It is desirable that "ladder" to keep always before his eyes. So teen will remember where he was going, and notice if deviate from the plan.

Based on the book publishing MYTH "What do you really want?".

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