Why is it so hard to change yourself, the key ideas from the book "Psihokibernetika"

Dissatisfaction - common ailment. Many people want to get rid of bad habits, lose weight, become more intelligent, healthy, successful, concentrated. People set themselves goals and trying to change. But after several unsuccessful attempts everything returns to normal. Why it is - almost a rhetorical question. Someone blames a lack of willpower, someone - a lack of motivation.

In his book "Psihokibernetika", written at the dawn of popularity books on self-developmentPlastic surgeon Maxwell Moltz (Maxwell Maltz) proposed an interesting concept, which incorporated observations of psychologists about the nature of man and opened the reasons why people fail to change their behavior.

I'm sure many have heard that to secure the new habits need 21 days. First wrote about this Maxwell Moltz, based on his experience of the plastic surgeon: that is how much time was required his patients to adjust to his new face.

"Psihokibernetika" - a book about achieving success, but the success of the author understood not just as a public recognition or wealth, and more - as the self-realization, creative potential.

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"Psihokibernetika" contains in concentrated form the ideas that later became massively replicated in the literature on self development.

What kind of ideas the book says?

1. The image of his own "I" determines the thoughts, feelings, and actions, the success or failure of a person

Working plastic surgeon Maxwell Moltz noticed that some people are getting rid of a physical disability through plastic surgery, begin to live a happy life, while others continue to suffer and look at imperfections.

Eliminating external defects, which are believed these people were the cause of their problems, in the end did not make them happy and not get rid of the inferiority complex. These people continued to be dissatisfied with life.

Dr. Moltz understood that the removal of physical defects alone can not make a better life. Man changed only when, in addition to appearance, varied and something else.

But what has changed?

Moltz Maxwell discovered that the basis of all actions, thoughts and feelings of man is the image of his own "I". And if this image is negative, no positive change is possible, as the man inwardly convinced that he does not deserve these positive changes.

If a person is poor opinion of himself, all his actions will be to confirm his "unworthiness." Even changing the appearance of the better and become very beautiful, this man does not change, and will start to pick at new shortcomings.

Maxwell Moltz observations led him to conclude that the image of his own "I" - is the key to the behavior of any person.

In order to change your life for the better, not enough external changes or new habits. You must change the image of his own "I" to match the new actions and objectives.

2. To understand how to make a difference, you need to find out how a way of his own "I"

Where did the one who considers himself a loser, took his current image? He was influenced by the actions, words, feelings, remember who this person is and which enabled him to carry himself to the losers.

So the key to positive change is to take the accumulation of positive experience - successful experience. As rightly observed by Maxwell Moltz, the child grows up confident, because it correctly raised, not because he was told how to bring up properly.

Our self-image is composed mostly unconsciously based on experience - successes, failures, to do with us other people, especially parents. It's all the things from which we build our own image of "I".

Already having the image of his own "I", one filters the information and looking for confirmation of his opinion. If the information is consistent with this view, he sees it, and if not, throws, no matter how it corresponds to reality. So people for life accumulates information about yourself, creating a portrait of his own "I" and strengthened in their convictions. Incidentally, the selectivity of the human mind really is confirmed by scientific experiments of recent times, which explains the nature of many mental traps.

But what if the beliefs are not true? The answer to this question requires courage, and at the same time, it is in it lies the beginning of the changes for the better.

3. You need to be convinced of the value of their identity and abandon the old false beliefs

Incorrect self-esteem arises not because of what happens to us, but because of how we interpret what is happening. Often we come to him with unrealistic standards, and it makes me feel like a second class. But common to all of the standard does not exist. Each person is unique. No need to measure themselves strangers yardstick.

More importantly, from the point of view of the author, have an adequate, complete and realistic picture of yourself. Treat yourself without shame and with confidence, understand their weaknesses, to appreciate their strengths, to be able to accept and understand yourself.

That's self-understanding and awareness of their own value as a unique personality are the key to this confidence necessary for any positive changes.

Often our minds clouded unpleasant feelings, or rather their habit to feel or react to the situation adequately. Aggression, for which actually hides the fear, resentment, emptiness, uncertainty - all this sucks a person the energy that he could send to create a happy life.

Antidote, which offers Maxwell Moltz of aberration, is corporately. It is important to understand that between signal and response there is a pause, and only we decide what to fill it: indignation, resentment or a positive reaction. The author shares the idea of ​​the Roman emperor and Stoic Marcus Aurelius that within each person There is a hidden center of calm and we just need to open it up and draw out energy during difficulties. The author believes that anger, resentment, insecurity, and other unpleasant emotions - this is just bad mental habits, caused by incorrect representation of himself as a worthless person. They are accompanied by non-stop work of our subconscious, which aims to achieve the wrong goals.

To get rid of these habits, you need to learn to recognize their reactions and emotions and guide them in a constructive way with the help of mental exercise.

Where does it begin? With the identification and assessment of their beliefs, because they are the basis of actions and even emotions. What is your belief? Do you consider yourself worthy of success? Or you deserve punishment? Why? At the core beliefs - real facts or just speculation? Ask yourself questions until you come to the truth.

Often people are too quick to accept the opinions of others faith at his own expense. Helpful hint from the author: initially consciously decide what you want to believe, and do not take for granted opposing views without critical evaluation, do not let them take possession of your thoughts and feelings.

Of course, people will always face difficulties. But it is necessary to reconsider its attitude towards them, to change its position from passive to active - and former source of anxiety becomes a source of strength.

4. For the purpose of the changes needed

Each person has what the author calls the creative mechanism - the subconscious automatic system to an end. In fact, it is the power of our subconscious that perform work at the time, the mind has no control over them. It is through this mechanism of human long worked on some problem and then postpone her visits unexpected insight as Newton, who saw while relaxing in the garden of a falling apple and formulated the law of universal gravity.

For creative work mechanism need a goal. Depending on the goals set before them a man, the mechanism leads him either to success or to failure.

Dr. Moltz was sure that the man - a creature that has always focused on achieving the goal. Even if a person does not set itself the objectives of its unconscious aim is purposeless life. And all his actions will be focused on in order to establish the correctness of the selected target. Our brain receives information in accordance with the objectives that we set before him. It depends on the person, whether or not these objectives positive or negative, and from this, in turn, will depend on the result of human actions.

How to set goals? The role of targets perform mental images that create our imagination. Maxwell Moltz defended the idea that the boundaries of our capabilities also defines our imagination. Creative mechanism operates without conscious influence, but it depends on us, what purpose we choose and what information was laid in it.

5. A man who strives for happiness, it is necessary to shape their experience of success

When a person learns to ride a bike, he knows that it is possible to learn, and periodic fall does not bother him. Over time, it accumulates practical experience of how to keep the balance and how to ride. Despite the fact that the first failure was more than a success, accumulated the necessary automatic mechanism for the correct drive information, and people learned to ride without thinking every second of each of its movement. In the future, a mechanism reproduces all of these skills. From the point of view of psihokibernetiki, this principle applies to all spheres of life.

When you learn to ride a bike, in your mind you already see yourself kata. Starting something new, complex problem solving, you need to be sure that its solution exists and that you will be able to find it.

It is important to seriously prepare, many speculate about the decision and crave to find it. But then relax and clear the way for your creative mechanism. After some time, the solution will arise in front of you like illumination. Consciously, we can only lay direction, and it depends on us whether it will be the direction of success or failure.

6. Actively use the power of his imagination

Maxwell Moltz was sure that much imagination determines the direction of our lives. However, we can use his strength to his advantage.

We fully trust our imagination in matters of representation itself.

The belief in the correctness of the created image causes us to react in a certain way in different situations. Dr. Moltz was convinced that mental images are the basis of all our actions. If we have the wrong opinion of himself, then our response will be incorrect. But we can replace the old mental images with new ones.

Dr. Moltz tells about a famous experiment: athletes who have trained in the imagination, showed the same results as those practiced in reality. This means that the human nervous system does not distinguish the imaginary from the real. In order to change your life for the better, you need a mental practice.

7. Rehearse in your imagination steps in accordance with your new way

A person suffering from low self-esteem, phobias and anxieties, it is necessary to visualize how he copes with the most frightening problem situations. The more detailed drawing of what is happening, the better. Such pre-playing the situation in your head helps to confidently operate in reality. A correct action in reality add up to the success of the experience, which makes a person really sure.

In fact, Maxwell Moltz talks about visualization techniques, when a person is the way to achieve the desired scrolling mental pictures. This technique is actively used by athletes. This pre-visualization for all life situations. Most people already engaged in visualization, worrying and scrolling in various head frightening images. But in terms of psihokibernetiki this harmful mental habit, which adjusts to the defeat and failure. Therefore, frightening images need to be replaced with positive, causing pleasant emotions.

If you represent yourself long enough in the desired role, then over time you srastetsya with his new way and will act in reality as much as before dreamed.

8. Strengthen their sense of victory

In psihokibernetiki it based on the assumption that to attain the happy life the person needs to have an adequate view of themselves and experience success. But one needs to understand that the brain - a brain, it creates images, but does not act.

Getting into action, it is important to have realistic expectations, not wait phenomenal success. The bottom line of gradual changes in the accumulation of experience, faith in themselves and a sense of optimism. Daily return to the mental workout, replace anxious thoughts into positive images. And over time, as the author assures, will catch up to them necessary for the success of the thoughts and feelings that will lead you to the desired results.

conclusion

The book "Psihokibernetika" was first published several decades ago, but to this day it is used the idea of ​​training authors, books on self-development and psychology.

Despite the opinion of some critics who believe Maxwell Moltz unscientific conclusions, in reality the role of plants, the effect of consciousness on the actions, feelings, sensations confirmed scientific experiments and studies in recent years old.

Simply adopting an open posture, people begin to feel and behave much more confidently. Moreover, they feel more confident, even if you just imagine that they are confident (this topic is covered in detail in the book Social psychologist Amy Cuddy "Presence"). And it says that Maxwell's theory is confirmed Moltz: our imagination - a powerful force.

The main advantage of Maxwell's book Moltz - in its core idea. The basis of all human action - his idea of ​​himself, and the changes are not possible as long as people will consider themselves unworthy of such changes.

Among the shortcomings of the book - a little old-fashioned didactic tone, many repetitions and unobvious structure.

Nevertheless, "Psihokibernetika" fully capable to replace a lot of books on the theme of gaining self-confidence and self.

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