How to solve the problem of strong men

What this book?

On the art of converting challenges into opportunities. It is not just about achieving success in spite of circumstances, but about the ability to do so that the obstacles standing in the way, it became part of the way. This approach distinguishes powerful people.

And what about the strong people talking about? Who are they?

Whom we usually think of the strong? People who with dignity cope with the difficulties, do not throw up their hands, turn challenges into opportunities. These men and women have lived at all times.

• Did you know that the next great Athenian orator Demosthenes childhood was painful and he suffered a speech impediment? As a child, he lost his parents and his guardians plundered his legacy. But this did not break it. He dreamed of becoming a speaker, and each day worked. He fulfilled his dream and punish their abusers in court.
• Did you know that the future of oil tycoon John D. Rockefeller was the son of an alcoholic and a criminal and began working at 16 years for the minimum payment?
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• Did you know that already in his old age the inventor Thomas Edison survived the fire-house laboratory, where burned most of his works? During a fire, he asked his son to call friends and mother, so that they share the spectacle, and said that they just get rid of excess waste. By the way, few know that Edison was almost deaf.
• Did you know that the American writer Helen Keller due to suffering a disease in early childhood was blind and deaf? But this has not stopped her to lead an active political and social life and to help others.
• Did you know that Viktor Frankl, an internationally renowned psychologist, spent several years in the concentration camps and lost them almost his entire family? But he did not give up and continued in the post-war period to do something that filled his life with meaning, before the age of 92 years.
• Did you know that Abraham Lincoln entire life suffered from severe depression and several times was on the verge of suicide? He grew up in poverty, lost his mother and his girlfriend, many times experienced defeat in his political life, but it did not prevent him from becoming a legend.

Most of us have never experienced the horrors that these people have gone through. But often we panic, we go mad and complain about the unfairness of a much less serious occasions. We stopped and put out minor obstacles like someone's criticism, traffic congestion on the Internet or the disabled. Fear, despair, anger, confusion - the typical response to trouble.

But no one promised us that life is fair and smooth. We all have to face difficulties. It depends on us how we will react to them.

Strong people differ in that they are resistant and shutter control their emotions. They do not give up in the face of problems and, moreover, make the problem part of the way.

How to master the approach to the difficulties of powerful people?

In strong people have a belief system that they follow and which helps them to keep a clear head and the right attitude to adversity. In order to cope with difficulties like strong people, we need the same belief system. We do not need to invent anything new, because this system - the basis of Stoic philosophy.

Oh no, not a philosophy ...

Unfortunately, in the philosophy of mass consciousness is associated with thick dust covered books, black-and-white portraits of philosophers and abstract reasoning, not related to that with which we are faced daily. But it's not about a philosophy. Stoics surprisingly pragmatic.

Despite the fact that stoicism originated in ancient Greece, its principles can enrich life and modern man.

How?

Stoic doctrine is aimed at the acceptance of life in all its manifestations, on the development of resistance and the right attitude to adversity, to tame their emotions and control their reactions.

Ryan Holliday says of this doctrine not as a philosophical concept, but as a practical tool. He distinguishes the approach of strong people three elements: perception, action and will.

The first component - perception. What does it mean?

Perception - is the way we see and interpret what is happening. If we are emotionally involved in the situation, then we do not see the big picture and act to his own detriment. Therefore, it is important to adjust their perceptions to be able to take control of their emotions. This is not to stop feeling anything, it means to become a master of his senses, and not their servant.

And it gives?

Complex situations happen all the time, we need self-control and composure to deal with them. retaining calmnessYou will always be on his head ahead of those who are panicking. In addition, the correct perception helps us to see in a crisis new opportunities. Most people perceive the problem as something terrible, but not those whom we consider strong. Correct perception helps to see the whole situation and focus on what we can change. Emotional stability and equanimity - the key to right action in complex situations.

How to learn?

There are no special secrets: an important practice and mental training aimed at taming of emotions. Holiday tells of several stages of the Stoics: return objectivity, calling all their names (wine - sour grape juice); in difficult situations represent what advice would you give a person with the same problems as you. Often we give smart tips on how to behave to others, but when it comes to us, behave foolishly and irrationally. It should be discharged, reduce emotional involvement, and the right decision will be forthcoming.

The second component of the stoic approach - action

Action - it is a necessity, Holliday said. You can not hide from problems, you need to act, to overcome obstacles and to paint them in the color you want. The author cites the example of Viktor Frankl, who believed that we should not wait for an answer to the question "What is the meaning of life?" - This question asks the world to us. And our answer - in our actions: in perseverance, common sense, patience and concentration.

Two more important ideas associated with the action, which tells Holiday - is the understanding of what we are told of our mistakes, and understanding that every action counts. There is no work, unworthy of us. Doing something half-heartedly, we degrade.

But the action - it does not always act in the literal sense. Sometimes it is better initially to agree with the opponent. Then you are more inclined him to his point of view, than it will be hard to prove him wrong. The best tactic - to pay other people's actions against them, being able to in time to step aside.

The third component - will

Under the will of the majority understands the desire to get anything. But Holiday clarifies the difference between a will and the will to understand the Stoics. Will as the desire is very fragile and unreliable. This pledge of strength in another will - in resistance to impact and flexibility, the ability to find meaning in the obstacles.

We live in a world with the illusion that we can control everything. Modern means root in us this delusion. When there is something terrible, we refuse to believe and feel the shock. But is not all life is unpredictable? Any minute may be the last. It will help us to live in such an unpredictable world.

Is not it a gloomy view of things?

The more we are shielded from the truth, the more we lose power. The paradox is that the acceptance of one's own mortality enriches our lives.

The ancient Stoics speculated about death and prepare themselves for the unpredictability of the world. This helped them to remain calm in the most difficult situations.

Many ask: what is the point in living if we are waiting for death? But, from the standpoint of stoicism, death, on the contrary, gives life meaning.

Dedicating the lifetime of a waste of time, we are living as if we were immortal.

Reminders of the limbs of his own life to help to concentrate on the essentials. Even from the fact of your own mortality can be taken advantage.

Another paradox is that our lives become richer when we dedicate ourselves to the fact that takes us beyond our petty self-interest.

What is in this practical benefits?

Problems do not catch you by surprise. You can use this approach to business, at work or in your personal life. new business, A new relationship, the birth of a child, any pleasant event cause us a rush of enthusiasm. But when something goes wrong, as we imagined, it takes us out of ourselves. Why not prepare in advance, because it is safe to say that whatever you start, you will encounter obstacles.

Before starting a new project, imagine that it will fail. Imagine what difficulties arise in relationships, at work, in the upbringing of the child. Why does this happen? What goes wrong? What will you do to provide what can be provided, and what will you do if you happen to something that you can not affect? When really have difficulty, you'll be ready for them, you'll have a backup plan, or at least be mentally prepared for it. You quickly mobilize forces. This approach as a vaccine: it helps to produce antibodies to the difficulties.

Should I read the book?

The book is written in simple language, it has a lot of interesting and inspiring stories of strong people. This book - a good alternative to many overly optimistic books on self-development and personal effectiveness, the main message of which is exhausted by the phrase, "You can! Believe in yourself and do it. "

If a positive thinking It did not lead you to anything but disappointment, pay attention to the wisdom of the Stoics, who did not close their eyes to the hardships of life.

If you are interested in this doctrine, the book is suitable as a first acquaintance with his principles. But for people deeply familiar with stoicism, she is unlikely to be of interest.

However, the big plus of the book is that it reminds us the wisdom and philosophy - it's not just abstract thoughts, but also effective practical tool for everyday life.

"How to solve the problem of strong people," Ryan Holiday

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