10 ways to enjoy your search for a partner
Miscellaneous / / November 08, 2023
No-strings-attached dates, compatibility tests, and other tricks to help you rethink your romantic relationship.
Finding the right match in today's dating-site- and app-obsessed world can be a complete mess. Many call this process tedious and compare it to walking through a minefield or a lottery. And if you've been on a date with a stranger at least once in the last few years, you know what we're talking about. You might even have a couple of creepy party stories.
However, searching for a guy or girl doesn't have to be exhausting. They can be exciting, romantic and tender, regardless of your age or past dating experience. This won't require a clear strategy, but it may require a change in perspective. Instead of viewing the search process as a chore, see it as an opportunity to think seriously about what you want out of life and who you want to spend it with. Here are some tips to help change your attitude towards dating and dating.
1. Don't rely on just one approach
Efforts to find a partner do not end when you register on popular sites. This is only part of a three-point plan. In addition to online dating, it includes communication in real life and the help of friends and colleagues who can introduce you to someone suitable from their environment. All this will increase your chances of success.
2. Don't hesitate, but don't rush either
If you met a guy or girl on the Internet and think that your relationship has potential, do not linger at the correspondence stage and schedule a personal meeting. But don't rush. Sometimes long and happy relationship develop slowly and are accompanied by difficulties at the beginning. Jumping to conclusions can lead to you breaking off contact with a good person who is right for you.
3. Take dating as seriously as you take work.
Put as much energy into your search as you put into your career. Finding a worthwhile partner takes time and effort. If you are willing to spend it, your investment will pay off sooner or later.
4. Take the time to educate yourself
Our brain finishes develop only around the age of 25–30. Moreover, one of the last to mature is the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for planning, choosing priorities and making decisions. According to statistics Those who got married at 20 are 50% more likely to get divorced than those who waited until they were 25. Therefore, it is better to use the time between 20 and 30 years to understand yourself, your desires and needs. And even if you are no longer 30, self-knowledge will only bring benefits.
5. Use dating as an opportunity to get closer to someone without commitment.
We often think that true love must conform to some grandiose romantic design, and the only relationships that make sense are those that lead to marriage or long-term obligations. Of course, taking responsibility and striving for a serious relationship is normal. But it’s also okay to throw such a scenario aside.
To keep dating from feeling like a chore, think of it as an opportunity to get to know someone you otherwise would never know. It can be a friendly or romantic relationship, physical or intellectual. It can last one hour or ten years. You may never meet again, but you will spend a great evening together, which you will later remember with warmth. Moments of sincere communication make both ourselves and other people healthier and happier.
6. Do a compatibility test before you go on a date
Before each meeting, offer call with the camera turned on. The reluctance to communicate in video format will give you food for thought. And if the video call takes place, you can introduce yourself in person, flirt, ask important questions and immediately set (or not) a date for the meeting. This will help avoid unpleasant dates and strained communication, which will result in it becoming clear that you have different values.
7. Reduce expectations on the first date
Let there be only one thing - to have a good time. You shouldn't immediately decide whether you have a future together. The first meeting is necessary in order to understand whether there is a basic connection between you. Instead of asking the other person, “Do you want a family?”, ask yourself, “Am I having fun? Do I want to see you again?
When you ask serious questions questionsTo understand whether a guy or girl matches your ideas about a wonderful future or not, you turn him or her into a means to carry out the plan. The search for “the one” or “the one” puts a lot of pressure on both you and the other person. If you turn a date into an interview, such an environment will extinguish any spark.
In addition, in this way you form an opinion about a person without really getting to know him. On the first date, you don't have enough information, sometimes even to know if you want to go on a second. Therefore, you should not try to immediately decide whether a person is suitable for your future - this distracts from the present.
Many people believe that “the clock is ticking” and that they cannot afford to waste time. But this is a consequence deficit thinking, which creates an atmosphere of desperation on the first date, which obviously will not lead to a second.
8. Focus on quality, not quantity
Be selective. This does not mean that you need to make a long list of criteria that a potential partner must meet. Think about what kind of life you would like to live next to someone and what qualities that someone should have. This way you will get a more adequate idea of who is right for you. The better you understand your true desires, the easier it will be for you to choose partners who will help you fulfill them.
9. Be prepared for difficulties
Become a pessimist. People are often shocked by how much disappointment and suffering comes with finding a partner. Knowing that things are likely to get bad before they get good can help relieve some of that stress.
When you expect difficulties, you can prepare for them. What support will you need if your messages are ignored? Who can you talk to if you date hear something terrible, like “I don’t like you”? This happens and it's disgusting. Preparing for the worst will help you deal with disappointment faster. The main thing is not to get caught up in thoughts like “This will never happen to me.” This is categorically and definitely not true.
10. Put your phone aside
When there's an awkward pause in a date, you may automatically reach for phoneto check if there are any new messages. But it’s better to put it away and focus on communicating with another person. If he often looks at the screen himself, joke that you notice it and invite him to join you, putting his phone aside. For example: “I’m doing an experiment and trying not to touch my phone on dates. Let's see who can last longer? The loser pays for the drinks."
Who seeks will always find🔎💖
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