What is an irritability diary and why keep one?

If you've ever written an angry message to your boss, partner, friend or family member without meaning to send, and felt great at the same time, it means that you have already become acquainted with the technique of “irritable letters." And this is good. Because it is useful not only for mental health, but also for interpersonal relationships.

How is an irritability diary different from a regular diary?

In an irritability journal, you honestly express your angry thoughts and write about everything that pisses you off. This is an opportunity to speak candidly and share what you really think and feel about the fact that you weren't given the promotion or that you are being held back. chase weird guy from a dating site. Essentially, it all comes down to expressing your dissatisfaction without any restrictions.

We can say that the irritability diary is the exact opposite of the gratitude diary, which encourages you to reflect on something for which you are grateful in life, such as wonderful friends or a new season "

Rick and Morty». However, this positive practice is not for everyone: many admit that looking for the bright side does not bring them peace of mind. This is in contrast to the practice of expressing negative thoughts and emotions, which is even called cleansing.

What is the use of an irritability diary?

When we force ourselves to constantly look for only the positive in everything, it has a bad effect on our mental state and leads to toxic positivity. It is much more useful to combine the two approaches and try to look at life realistically: accept your negative emotions and at the same time see the positive sides. This means that today you can be very upset, but know that tomorrow will be better.

Very often in our childhood we could hear phrases like “don’t whine” or “don’t complain” from our parents. We weren't taught to deal with our feelings, and now as adults we have no idea what to do with them. Anger and rage are healthy emotions. It's how we express them that matters.

Research has proven time and time again that journaling is beneficial for mental health. Analysis of 20 scientific articles on the impact of keeping a diary on the condition of people with mental disorders showedthat regular practice has a therapeutic effect and has a positive effect on cognitive processes and decision-making ability.

Recording thoughts and experiences allows us to clarify the situation that worries us, cool the intensity of passions, turn on logical thinking and look at everything that is happening from a different angle.

An irritability journal gives us a safe space to express ourselves, helps us regulate our emotions, and thereby saves us from heartache and our loved ones from our angry outbursts. When we suppress our feelings, they come out in other ways: someone starts having seizures anxiety, and someone suddenly flies into a rage and starts a scandal.

Another advantage of the irritability diary is its privacy. You can freely write whatever comes to mind and not worry that someone will judge you or be offended by you.

How to conduct it

Use templates

Ready-made formulas will help you better understand the situation that annoys you and understand what exactly caused your negative emotions. Templates are also useful if you are not at all sure why you feel bad.

Here are some example questions:

• What do you hate most about your job?
• What is your partner's habit that most annoys you?
• In what situation do you think your parents embarrassed you?

Avoid self-censorship

To experience all the benefits of an irritability diary, it is important to allow yourself complete freedom of expression. There is no need to choose your words or hold back your thoughts. Rely on your feelings and surrender to the process without reserve.

Remember that your posts have no recipient so you don't offend anyone you care about. This is your opportunity to say everything that you would like to say to your loved ones, but do not say because you love and respect them.

Journaling without restrictions will give you a relief that self-censorship simply cannot give you.

Don't be afraid to be petty

There are no small details for the irritability diary. Neighbor around the apartment left a wet towel on the bed? Write about it. On your way to work, did you constantly run into red traffic lights and end up late? Write about it. Has your child been particularly nasty today? Write about it.

These may all seem insignificant, but these events still cause negative emotions in you that are worth exploring. Otherwise, they will turn into an avalanche that one day you will not be able to contain. And then you will lose your temper over the next little thing, although it won’t be about that at all, but about a huge number of small problems that you ignored.

Analyze records

After you have shared all your complaints with your diary, re-read the entries. What do they say about the situation? What do they say about you? What factors led to the emergence of negative emotions?

This important step will help you deal constructively with conflicts in the future, because you will know what triggers you and why. In addition, the irritability diary will show what role you played in the development of events and how you should act if disagreements arise in the future.

Keep your diary in a safe place

Your irritability journal is a very valuable thing, treat it as such. Keep it in a safe place that only you can access so that other family members cannot read your notes. If this happens, the feelings of the diary will not be affected in any way, unlike the feelings of your loved ones.