5 extraordinary ways to become better today

1. Apply the love triangle method

This is the secret to a long family life. But this is not at all the kind of love triangle that we are used to seeing in soap operas. This is a method invented by Australian psychiatrist George Blair-West. He himself has been married for more than 30 years and recommends constantly repeating three steps in a relationship:

1. Trust your partner and be sure that he will not betray your trust. And when you tell him something very personal and sensitive that makes you vulnerable, he won't use it against you.
2. Experience confidence and tell your loved one a secret that you wouldn’t want to share with others.
3. Strengthen intimacy by repeating the first two steps over and over again and understanding that your partner cares about you and that he will still care about you, despite all your shortcomings.

If you are worried about a difficult conversation with your partner and are hesitant to confess something important to you, think about the love triangle method. The best way to make relationships deeper and stronger is to allow yourself to be human and talk about what's eating you.

2. Disturb the peace

"You could spill hot soup on me and I'd probably I'm sorry before you” - many recognize themselves in this joke by American comedian John Mulaney. People often hate conflict and try their best not to make noise or create awkward situations.

Writer Luvvie Ajayi Jones, who calls herself a professional troublemaker, says this is not a quality to be proud of. On the contrary, you need to train yourself to openly express your point of view. In her opinion, you cannot make the world a better place and solve serious problems if you meekly follow the rules. And silence will not change anything.

Learning to stand up for your beliefs is an important step towards change, not a sign that you are a “difficult” person or not a team player. But before you speak out, Luvvie Ajayi advises ask yourself three questions:

1. Do you really think so?
2. Can you argue for this?
3. Are you saying this with love?

If the answer to all questions is “yes”, you can safely express your opinion, without fear of consequences. Try to do this every time you feel that something is going wrong. Did your friend make a questionable joke? Talk to him instead of awkwardly laughing. Does a passerby on the street seem disoriented? Approach and ask if he needs help, rather than assuming he would ask on his own if needed.

Practice being comfortable with discomfort in everyday situations. Then, in moments when it comes to really important issues, it will be easier for you to make the right decisions.

3. Come up with a terrible idea

Throughout his career, Frans Johansson, author books "The Medici Effect: The Emergence of Innovation at the Intersection of Ideas, Concepts and Cultures" studied innovation and tried to answer the question of what makes ideas truly revolutionary. Among other things, he discovered that the idea would receive much more support from others, if it is based on progressive changes.

Imagine it's 1970 and you're working to make landline phones 10% more efficient. Most likely, the rest of the team would approve of your intentions. Now imagine telling them that you are going to make phones work outdoors without any wires. You would be considered crazy. Although now we understand which idea was more valuable.

Therefore, if you want to find a new solution to a problem, you will have to filter out the obvious answers and the first ideas that come to mind. The main thing is to interrupt your typical chain of thoughts. Try to set yourself an unusual goal and come up with as many terrible ideas as possible. This will spur imagination.

4. Shut up

This conversational skill will help you build not only personal but also professional relationships. You just need to stop confusing monologue with dialogue.

If you want to have interesting, meaningful conversations, it's important to stay engaged. The best way to do this is to shut up in time and give the floor to your interlocutor. Conscious silence increases the value of conversation because it interrupts standard fixed thinking and encourages deeper thinking. Also, when you give another person a chance to speak, he feels making yourself heard, which also has a positive effect on relationships.

It is important not to overdo it. When the flow of a conversation is interrupted by too long pauses, we we feel we feel rejected and feel negative emotions.

5. Be perfect when all else fails

Producer and screenwriter Michael Schur has had a hand in creating many popular sitcoms, including The Office, Parks and Recreation, and The Good Place. However, he is fascinated not only by humor, but also by moral philosophy.

He believes that striving to be perfect and follow ethical standards at any level can truly change everything around you. When we think about whether to watch movies or listen to music if the author has done something terrible, or whether paying more for cosmetics just because they are not tested on animals makes us better people.

Try to delve into such ethical issues rather than ignore them. This will allow you to formulate your own moral principles that help you make good choices in a variety of situations every day.