What is mansplaining and how to deal with it

What is mansplaining

Mansplaining (from the English man - “man” and explain - “explain”) is a phenomenon when a man condescendingly explains to a woman what she already knows. Because how should she know, he clearly knows better.

This phenomenon is best described by an anecdote:

Man: “Do you know what mansplaining is?”

Woman: "Of course."

Man: “This is when a man explains to a woman what she already knows.”

The appearance of the word is attributed to journalist and writer Rebecca Solnit, but this is not entirely true. The term arose later, and she is remembered for describing a striking case of mansplaining in her essay “Men Teach Me to Live.” Solnit told how at a party she began to tell a new acquaintance about one of her books, but he interrupted her. He said that he had also read a brilliant paper on this topic. But Solnit was the author of this book, which she literally said before.

And this is not a unique case when a man is not ready to listen to a woman because he believes that he understands the topic better. For example, girls working in technical support often face disdain when they have to advise a client on IT, transport, and the like. The social networks of almost any athlete are full of advisers who tell her that her technique is bad, her knees will fly and her uterus will fall out. Although the girl’s form clearly shows that she has been doing her job for several years. And commentators hardly get up from the couch very often.

However, men teach women not only this, but also how to give birth correctly, what to do with PMS, and how to take oral contraceptives. At the same time, they cannot boast of gynecologist diplomas, and for obvious reasons they do not have the relevant experience.

How is mansplaining different from any other conversation?

One might say: so what? People often don’t have much tact, they come up with strange advice and in general. The difference is in the approaches. Mansplaining is based on the belief that a man by default understands a topic better than a woman, even if he is not very deeply immersed in the topic.

If a man says that he has built a gaming computer for himself, his interlocutor may ask about the characteristics, argue about the sound and video card better, and so on. If a woman reports this, she may face a lecture on the topic of what gaming is all about. computer and why doesn’t she have one, because she doesn’t understand anything about it and just throws loud words.

A man is unlikely to receive advice how to change a wheel, if he does not ask the appropriate question. A woman can receive “valuable” recommendations, even if she works in a car service and is literally changing a tire at that moment.

Mansplaining is not a feature of a particular person’s upbringing, it is a social phenomenon.

As well as, for example, ageismwhen people believe that the elder knows everything better.

Why mansplaining is dangerous

It reinforces stereotypes

Let's go from afar and remember the fairy tale about Kolobok. If the hero had not encountered the fox that ate him, both he and the listeners of the tale would have believed that it was safe to run away from his grandparents.

Mansplaining is a product of gender stereotypes. It is based on the fact that women cannot understand anything at all or as well as men. This once made sense because women had little opportunity to receive a full education or engage in some activities. Therefore, the assumption that the interlocutor knew nothing was generally justified. Now - no, although this is not easy for everyone to accept.

And everything would be fine if the stereotypes remained at the level of mansplaining. But they also work in the opposite direction. For example, affect abilities girls in mathematics. In countries that strive for equality, schoolgirls perform as well as or better than boys. The rest are the worst. And researchers attribute this, among other things, to the fact that people are not very motivated to develop in a business that, according to others, not them.

It takes away women's voice.

Mansplaining isn't just about nasty conversations at parties. Women interrupt more often basically. At work meetings 75% of the time men say and only 25% are women. That is, the latter have to make more efforts in all areas of their lives to be heard.

It prevents you from talking about important issues

Women often have unique experiences. Of course, not all at once, because no two people are alike. And that's one of the reasons why gender stereotypes are meaningless.

But mansplaining also makes it difficult to hear about this exceptional experience and understand a little more for yourself. You can't get another point of view if you just talk. And it is in discussions that truth is born.

Let’s say a woman talks on social media about her way of experiencing menstruation. And in the comments there are always men who say: “Nonsense. You're doing everything wrong. Try simple Soviet…” Which ultimately doesn’t help anyone. Advisers continue to be in their delusions because they themselves cannot have such experience. The author of the post is angry. Although, if the men, instead of speaking, had taken the information into account, they would have asked clarifying questions. questions, this might help them understand a little better what is happening to their wives, mothers, daughters.

How to overcome mansplaining

It's a two-way street, but gender socialization is involved throughout.

Men do not manplay because they are all so terrible and are only looking for ways to oppress women. Many people live for years in such a picture of the world and sincerely believe that a girl cannot understand computers or dinosaurs at all. So much so that even if a guy has read a couple of random tweets on the topic, he already knows more. The opposite does not occur to him. How, say, a schoolboy from a wealthy family does not even realize that his friend does not go with him for ice cream every day after school, because no money, and not because he doesn’t want to. The child of rich parents simply does not have such experience, it just so happens.

The problem is that from a place of comfort it is difficult to notice such things. And here broadening your horizons helps. Let's say that the fact that a woman can ride a bicycle does not amaze anyone - rather, the opposite will be surprising. And once upon a time this was a scandalous phenomenon.

So, if you believe in the fresh concept of “a woman is also a person,” this changes everything radically.

A person can know and be able to do different things, without reticence, so before explaining anything, it would be a good idea to first ask about his experience.

But women also do not grow up in a vacuum and are socialized in the same society. As long as they respond to mansplaining and interruptions with the behavior prescribed to them by their gender role - they smile, listen, nod, and then complain on social networks - the situation persists. Although a well-timed “I didn’t finish” or another way to regain your voice can be very refreshing. No matter how much one would like simple paths, rights are not given - they are obtained through struggle. Even in such small battles as a conversation at a party.

How do you feel about mansplaining? Have you encountered him?