4 Ways to Develop Conversational Intelligence
Miscellaneous / / October 23, 2023
This skill will be useful both in your personal life and at work.
Despite the fact that today we have an endless number of ways to exchange information, the palm still belongs to personal conversations. This is because these are not just words. The way we talk to family members, friends, colleagues and any other people greatly determines our relationships with them. If we want communication to be successful and effective, we need to develop conversational intelligence.
What is Conversational Intelligence
This concept is built on the idea that conversations are not only a way to transmit and receive information, but also influence various aspects of our lives - from self-confidence to outlook world. And both positive and negative.
According to Judith Glaser, author of Ideal negotiation”, who coined the term, conversations determine the quality of relationships, which together determine the quality of culture in a company or any other type of organization. Through language and communication we
learning to build trust, connect, develop and interact with each other to create and change the communities to which we belong.How to develop conversational intelligence
Glaser herself viewed conversational intelligence as an innate skill. However, not everyone can apply it equally effectively in life. Here's where you can start to develop yours.
1. Listen attentively
At least half conversationsIf nothing else, we must listen to our interlocutor. Therefore, try to consciously control how much you speak and not dominate the conversation.
In addition, it is important avoid so-called sham hearing. It comes in several types:
- judgmental when we rush to conclusions;
- selective, when we hear only what we want;
- impatient when we interrupt the interlocutor or finish sentences for him;
- patronizing, when we only pretend to listen, while we ourselves are in our own world;
- stubborn when we have already made a decision or formed opinion and are closed for discussion.
2. Ask the right questions
First of all, you need to stop asking questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no.” Instead, show curiosity and show that your interlocutor is interesting to you. Start with simple and general questions, and then move on to more personal and specific questions that will help the other person open up. The more questions that start with “who,” “where,” “what,” “when,” and “why” you ask, the better.
3. Choose your words carefully
The words and phrases we use in conversations are rarely neutral. They carry emotional baggage, which for our interlocutor may have opposite connotations, including not the most pleasant ones. Therefore, you should be more delicate when choosing wording to make it easier build trust during a conversation.
4. Reflect after a conversation
When communication ends, you should not immediately switch your attention to something else. Take time to analyze the conversation that took place. Think about what happened during the conversation: what was said, what tone your interlocutor spoke in, and what body language used, at what moments pauses occurred - and evaluate the potential impact of the dialogue on your relationship and further development events.
What else will help improve communication?🧐
- 130 questions that will help you talk to anyone
- The Fact Locator is a simple tool that helps bring clarity to conversations.
- How Principle 43:57 Helps Improve Any Conversation and Get Things Done
- Cunningham's Law: A Simple Psychological Trick That Will Get People Talking