3 questions to ask yourself in uncertain situations

It's completely normal to feel uneasy and stressed when dealing with change, whether it's small or big. And this is not just fear in the face of the unknown. Adults have most likely experienced changes at least once in their lives that made things worse rather than better.

For example, you might quit your job because of a toxic boss or colleagues, only to discover that in your new place the atmosphere in the team is much more unhealthy. After such an experience, it is natural to become even more resistant to change for fear that it will make life more difficult again.

While change in life and the uncertainty that comes with it are inevitable, we can control how we respond to it. Cognitive neuroscientist Maya Shankar recommends Ask yourself three questions when you are particularly resistant to change:

1. How can change improve my abilities? When we imagine how we will react, we tend to believe that in a new situation we will act in familiar ways, that our personality will remain the same. But a person who copes with difficulties in times of unexpected change becomes different and acquires new skills.
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2. How might change affect my values? Changes that we don't expect can completely upend the way we think about our lives and what truly matters to us and what we really want.
3. How can change change my self-definition? Unforeseen circumstances can destroy the foundation on which we build our identity. And then who we are and what we do comes into question. But change can also give us a new, more stable basis for self-identification.

This is not about ignoring negative consequences or pretending that everything is fine when it is not. The main goal of this exercise is to be open to internal change and reflect on how adapting to uncertainty and the way things are can benefit you in the future.