How parents can respond to grades to support their child

Grades are not only evidence of a student's success or failure in school. For one they can be a source of self-confidence, for another they can be a reason for domestic quarrels. Let's try to figure out how not to exaggerate or understate the importance of grades in a student's life.

Talk to your child not about grades, but about the learning process

Notes in the diary are an indicator. But his testimony can be assessed in different ways. A three or two can indicate that the child was in a bad mood and could not cope with it when he came to the board. Or that he did not understand the topic of the last lesson.

Or maybe I didn’t have time to do it homework, because I wanted to get to the right level in an online game. He really was going to work out. But I didn’t notice how several hours flew by, and then I was no longer able to take up my lessons.

And an A can tell you that it was not in vain that the child spent half a day looking for material for the report on the Internet. No one has found such interesting facts about the plants of South Africa as he has. Or that the test turned out to be very easy. “Lucky, anyone could cope with such problems,” says the student. And he doesn’t remember that he spent a whole month solving one or two examples a day, practiced well, and therefore didn’t see anything difficult in the test.

Therefore, no matter what the grades are, you should pay attention not to the result (the diary entry itself), but to the learning process. And ask the child to tell how he himself feels about what he received. mark, what happened while he was preparing or not preparing for lessons, what he liked, what surprised or disappointed him.

It’s also worth talking about what he’s going to do next after such an assessment.

For example, having received an A, a student will decide: it’s worth continuing to study tropical flora, because it’s interesting. And having received a C, he will think: it’s better to read the textbook first, and then sit down to play. After all, it’s not fun to feel like half a day has disappeared somewhere, and there’s no pleasure, and even a C in your diary. Such an analysis will help the child learn to draw conclusions from the experience gained.

Be attentive to your child, regardless of his grades

It happens that parents practically do not react to good grades. Five? That's how it should be! Four? Why not more? And only a deuce can sometimes motivate them to leave their work and work with the child. Or ask him in detail what happened and offer help. The child concludes: a sure way to get a little warmth and care is to give a bad grade.

To avoid such situations, it is worth devoting time and attention to it in any assessments. If they are high, you can talk about what the child likes about the subject. And be glad that in the lessons he really learns Interesting Facts.

If the grades are low, you can discuss what the child does not like and causes discomfort. Perhaps the teacher's explanations seem boring and incomprehensible. Or the child missed an important lesson, and now he cannot understand a complex topic on his own. Then you should offer him your help.

Support your child if it is difficult for him

It is important that the student there was no doubt: no matter what happens, he has the right to count on his parents. You may find yourself in a difficult situation or make a mistake. But his parents will always be on the same team with him and will help him figure out what to do next.

There are situations that are difficult for a student to cope with on his own. For example, he may have a conflict with a teacher. Or, having written an unsuccessful essay, the student will feel insecure before the next work.

Or maybe, back in the second grade, his teacher really upset him. He said that drawing was definitely not his thing.

Several years have passed, but the student refuses to pick up a pencil and brush, or to study the history of painting. That's why he gets bad grades.

In such situations, parental support is very necessary. They will be able to find encouraging words and show that they believe in the child. And if necessary, they will go together to seek help from a specialist.

Sometimes a student needs very simple help. For example, remind you that in the evening you need collect a briefcase. Or listen to him recite a poem or defend a project. But even such simple actions allow the child to feel that he is not alone. That his parents are on his side, and together it is easier to cope with any problems.

Don't stick labels

The assessment is an indicator only of today. Tomorrow it may change. And the child will always remain himself. Therefore there is no need to call him poor student, loser, narrow-minded person and other offensive epithets.

Yes, he might get angry, want to prove you wrong, and start learning better. This is what many parents are counting on. But it is very likely that the student will be upset and really believe: he is capable of little.

And in the future it will be very difficult for him to regain confidence in himself and his abilities.

Therefore, it is worth separating school grades from personal qualities. And do not exaggerate the importance of the former compared to the latter.

Draw your child’s attention to those activities for which they are not graded.

We can't escape comparisons with other people, as well as different ratings. Therefore, it is worth paying attention to areas and occupations where no marks are required. There are many more of them in life. These are various hobbies, recreation, travel, relationships with family and friends.

It is worth paying more attention to the child’s activities not related to school. And support his desire to develop in his chosen direction.

Try to show by example that there are a lot of things in life where there can be no assessments. For example, it is important to understand other people and be a good friend, take care of loved ones and ask for help yourself, and find reasons for joy even in difficult times. School grades will be forgotten, but the child will have these skills for a long time.