2 types of honesty, without which it is impossible to imagine a normal relationship
Miscellaneous / / September 06, 2023
Sometimes sparing other people's feelings is more important than telling the whole truth.
How honest are you with your partner? We all know that the bitter truth is better than the sweet lie, especially when it comes to trust in a couple. But can you be too honest? For example, when a loved one prepares a dish that is impossible to eat, will you tell him the truth, or will you save his feelings and lie?
Lies leave a nasty aftertaste, no matter how small they may be, and this is not surprising. Honesty is an important component of a relationship that builds trust and emotional closeness between partners, promoting deeper connection and understanding. Sincerity helps to openly communicate with each other and resolve conflicts constructively. Relationships that lack honesty can suffer from distrust, misunderstandings, and a lack of emotional security.
What is honesty
Of course, it is different. Saying you don't like your partner's meal is not the same as warning them about your financial problems.
before the wedding. These are two different types of honesty, which, if you believe research, meet in any relationship. And each of them has its own causes and consequences.1. Mandatory Honesty
It originates in mutual agreements about What people are ready to tell each other frankly. Generally, mandatory honesty refers to matters that affect the ability of partners to bond emotionally, mentally, or physically. Its lack can have disastrous consequences for the union.
Open and unspoken agreements about mandatory honesty are often formed at the very beginning of a relationship. For each couple they are individual, but usually concern sex, money, common projects and household issues.
2. Selective Honesty
Some may call it a harmless understatement or white lie, although this type of honesty can be quite dangerous. At its best, selective honesty involves withholding some information about something that is irrelevant to the relationship. In the worst case, this is an attempt to deceive a partner in a matter that may seem innocent in the present, but poses a threat to the relationship in the future.
In some couples there is a clear agreement that What partners consider it unimportant to tell each other, for example, details of conversations with friends, problems in the family or workdays. In others, there are unwritten rules, and then this type of honesty may involve a voluntary decision to tell the truth and be sincere, even if this is not explicitly required. Selective honesty in this case is driven by personal values, as well as the desire to build strong relationships and communicate openly.
When to Use Mandatory Honesty
Since without it it is impossible to create a solid foundation for a sense of security in a couple, mandatory honesty is needed already at the dating stage. It will help establish trust, which is critical to a long-term relationship.
This type of honesty is key when you talk about former partners, previous marriages, their children and important life events. When you know each other's history, it's easier for each of you to recognize its potential impact on your current relationship.
Another topic that should be discussed with mandatory honesty is money. Partners need to exchange truthful information about debts, income, spending and financial goals. Otherwise, it will be impossible to make informed decisions, competently maintain an overall budget and trust each other in everything related to money matters.
The need for mandatory honesty does not disappear after the partners finally get closer. On the contrary, it persists throughout the duration of the relationship.
When to Use Selective Honesty
It appears when one of the partners decides to tell the other about their complexes and vulnerabilities. Talking openly about fears and doubts creates a space where everyone can receive support and comfort, which helps deepen emotional connection.
Selective honesty also allows you to show empathy and understanding in a situation where a partner talks about past mistakes and regrets that do not directly affect the current relationship. Such communication provides an opportunity to learn from each other's experiences.
In addition, this type of honesty should be used when a partner asks for feedback. In such a case, only enough information should be withheld to ensure that the loved one will calmly accept the comments and they will benefit him.
When it comes to family, you do not need to share details that can affect the relationship of a partner with his relatives. In addition to those facts that directly affect the well-being of a loved one and the health of your romantic relationship with him.
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