5 important things loneliness can teach you

There are two different words - loneliness and solitude. Both of them can describe the same state. But the first is often associated with melancholy and despondency, and the second with the opportunity to relax, reboot, be alone with your thoughts. And then - to return to the world updated.

If you are not in a romantic relationship right now, you can consider that you have been given a valuable gift - a pause for solitude. It is worth taking advantage of it and learning things that will make life brighter.

1. Better understand yourself and see what you really appreciate

When you are with a partner, most of your thoughts, emotions and actions are directed towards maintaining the relationship. You make common plans and think about the interests of the couple as a whole. In such a situation, you can not pay attention to your own priorities and not notice when they become different.

Sometimes there is just not enough time to listen to your thoughts, immerse yourself in emotions and understand what is important at this stage of life for you.

Being single, or living solo, is a great time to get to know your current self better.

That is, to understand what will be valuable for you now - both in relationships and in life in general.

For example, before the main thing was that a loved one without talking and unnecessary questions could support any of your adventures. You saw acceptance and trust in it. And they were happy if on Friday evening it occurred to you that it would be nice to go somewhere for the weekend, and after a couple of hours you were already sitting in the car and booking online accommodation in Novgorod or Suzdal - where you can relax and take a walk in beautiful places.

And now you are more important than long intimate conversations. Or walks together, when you can hold hands and still not talk about anything.

You can reconsider and life priorities. For example, you used to need to travel every year. And now, having listened to yourself, you have found that you want to stay at home and do something completely new. For example, become a volunteer or start actively learning an unfamiliar language.

It is worth being in solitude to hear yourself. And better understand what you want from life and relationships in the future.

2. Build your life the way you like it

In the previous paragraph, we talked about strategic goals and important life values, and in this one - about the daily routine.

A couple, as a rule, has a single lifestyle. It is often based on compromises: partners prepare dishes that both like, turn on music that does not annoy either of them.

But if no one lives in the apartment except you, you can only follow your own rules.

For example, dine on ice cream with berries. Walk around the apartment in one underwear or without it at all. On weekends in the morning, turn on hard rock or your favorite ethnic music and not be afraid to wake anyone up. Or vice versa: sleep until almost noon, and then go to the nearest cafe. Or maybe cook delicious syrniki, which you have not done for a thousand years, because the former partner could not stand cottage cheese.

It is worth listening to your desires and body signals. And understand how to arrange life so that you feel comfortable. You may discover needs you didn't know about before. Or just long forgotten. Solo life is a great time to take care of yourself.

3. Train mindfulness

Often in a state of loneliness there is a feeling of emptiness. And then dark thoughts come. Long-forgotten experiences emerge in the mind, fragments of old dialogues arise, former grievances and traumas are recalled. This process is probably familiar to everyone who was left alone.

In such a situation, you should not try to drown out all these inner voices with something from the outside - series, social networks, alcohol. It is better to try to sort out emotions, survive and let go of old grievances.

Meditation and various practices can help with this. awareness. But if it is very difficult, you should consult a psychologist.

4. Look for new hobbies and plan time for creativity

When a person is left alone, he often finds that now he has a lot, even too much free time. It seems that the whole world is busy with something interesting and everyone around is happy. And he can only yearn and miss.

But boredom, according to psychologists, is an emotion that encourages a person to look for something new - something that will help you feel alive.

So, it is worth starting the search. You can remember all the hobbies that you ever wanted to do. And try them one by one. For example, enroll in a vocal studio. If after the session there is a feeling of recovery and lightness, you can continue. And if it turns out that singing is not inspires, - you can learn to dance rumba, paint with oils, play the guitar.

It is important that no one needs to explain why after the first vocal lesson you do not go to the second.

And no one will reproach you for frivolity and misunderstanding of your own desires - there is no one to reproach. And you understand your needs right now, and this process will take exactly as much time as you need.

The main thing is not to strive to immediately become a professional in the chosen field. It’s better to just look for activities that help you experience the maximum of positive emotions – the joy of creativity, inspiration, pride from small but significant results. New hobby will help you see life from an unfamiliar angle and will delight you for a long time.

5. Find new friends

It often seems to a lonely person that everyone around is meeting, making plans, enjoying communication. Finally, they need each other. Everyone except him. It is quite sad if he broke up with a partner and, moreover, lost his former friends. Yes, that happens too. After all, to come to the old company and meet an ex or the former is not the most pleasant thing. Therefore, a person can cut off any previous ties.

Even if everything is not so sad and you have friends and good acquaintances, the lack of romantic relationships can cause a feeling of abandonment and uselessness. So it's time to make new friends.

The easiest way to do this is to take up a new hobby. Among people who are passionate about the same thing as you, it is easier to find like-minded people. For example, you can look for seasonal sports clubs, go hiking or kayaking, any activity where you can meet interesting people. It is very likely that over time you will make new friends, and maybe even Love.