7 questions that will help you distinguish between "clean" and "muddy" emotions

Emotions are useful natural human responses that give us quick information about a situation and can help us communicate with others. But emotions also have a downside: they can be so strong and overwhelming that they prevent us from living up to our values. Therefore, in order to choose actions based primarily on our principles and beliefs, we must be able to distinguish between when emotions tell us something important, and when they mislead us.

What is the difference between "pure" and "muddy" emotions

A "pure" emotion is a direct reaction to a situation. It provides useful information that can serve as a guide to action. Such emotions come and go, and their intensity matches the context that triggers them.

"Muddy" emotions are stronger and longer lasting. They are less related to the context and usually do not carry any useful information about the actions.

The ability to distinguish between “clean” and “muddy” emotions helps us understand how we best act in response to any of them. In addition, when we recognize some emotion as "cloudy", this allows us to "clear" it over time.

For example, when someone we care about leaves, we may experience a "pure" emotion of sadness. If we recognize it and share it with a loved one, it can lead to a deeper connection or a decision to do something important together before they leave or after they return.

But if we don't feel comfortable being sad or haven't had enough sleep, we may experience "muddy" emotions, such as irritability and disappointment because the person is leaving us. And allowing them to dictate what experiences we share and how to act will only increase the distance between us and those we care about and deepen our sadness.

How emotions become cloudy

One possible explanation is that we are not reacting to the current situation, but to what happened in the past. For example, emotions become cloudy when a colleague says a phrase that reminds us of an argument with friend, or when someone does what our parents did and we are still offended by them for This.

Anxiety is another reason why emotions get cloudy. If we worry all the time that something bad is going to happen to our child at any moment, then we may experience anxiety when he tries something new. If followed and acted upon by this emotion, it will prevent the child from growing and understanding the world, and will also make the relationship with him more strained.

Sometimes we think that our emotions define us. We may think of ourselves as an "anxious" or "sensitive" person. This attitude towards our reactions only strengthens them, makes it difficult to understand how they appear and disappear, and does not give notice moments when we experience several emotions at once, such as pride and fear or disappointment and Love.

What questions will help to understand emotions

When an emotional reaction is born inside, first of all it is necessary to notice it. At the very beginning of the journey, when you are just learning to consciously approach your emotions, take the time to write down or mentally note what exactly you are experiencing. And then ask yourself the following questions to understand whether you are dealing with “clean” or “muddy” emotions.

1. Emotions are a direct reaction to what is happening?

If it is a direct reaction to the current situation, its intensity corresponds to the events and it has a clear message - most likely it is "clean". And you should think about how best to act, based on the information that it carries in itself.

2. Are the emotions connected to or echoing past experiences?

Old grudges can stay with us for a long time. Sometimes we even experience them with renewed vigor, replaying them over and over again in our thoughts.

If current emotions are rooted in the past, you should not rely on them when choosing an action. It is better to think about what will help heal old pain and separate today's context from yesterday's.

3. Are emotions tied to worry about what might happen in the future?

If this is true, then emotions are caused by worrying about hypothetical events that may not happen. And you need to choose a strategy of behavior, rely on your own values present.

4. Do you criticize or judge yourself for these emotions?

For one reason or another, we may perceive emotions as a manifestation of weakness or consider some emotions better than others. When we judge ourselves for our reactions or think that we are "bad" because we have them, we only increase our experiences and make them more vague and "muddy".

This makes it difficult to understand what information our emotions may or may not convey to us. Practice can help you avoid this. self-compassion and recognition of the human nature of any emotion.

5. Do you think you are confused by your emotions or that they define you in some way?

Paying close attention to your own experiences can be compared to observing the weather. Sometimes clouds gather in the sky, but over time they dissipate and it becomes clear again.

6. Are you trying not to feel any emotions or push them away?

Thinking that some reactions are “bad” or “weak,” as well as the discomfort that accompanies many emotions, naturally leads us to avoid difficult experiences. But in the end, this not only does not help, but also makes our sensations more “sticky” and “muddy”. Allowing emotions to be as they are and being patient will help "cleanse" them.

7. Are you taking care of yourself?

Poor sleep, undereating or overeating, lack of physical activity all lead to stronger or more sustained emotional responses. The experiences and thoughts that arise in the middle of the night are often more "muddy" than those that visit us during the day when we have had a good rest.

When we pay enough attention to our health and well-being, we immediately notice if something goes wrong - for example, we stop eating or sleeping normally. And we can immediately recognize that the emotions that arise at this time are likely to be "cloudy" and useless, so they should not be trusted.

Therefore, sometimes it is first necessary to establish a sleep pattern, adjust the menu and relax. And then track how emotions have changed before acting on them.