6 limiting settings that should sound different
Miscellaneous / / July 28, 2023
Some phrases are familiar to us from childhood and influence us more than it seems.
1. You want too much? You won't get much
This phrase is usually said to moderate other people's ambitions. And not always the speaker does it out of the worst motives. For example, parents sometimes worry that their child is dreaming about something they think is unattainable. And so they try to save him from disappointment in the future. It seems that if a person reduces his appetite and desires something more real, he will definitely get it and be happy.
In fact, it’s normal to want a lot, because who better than you to know what you really need. To face obstacles and be disappointed, to abandon previous plans is also in the order of things, because not everything depends on us. Sometimes the banal a series of accidentsthat hinders the achievement of the goal.
If you want a lot, it increases the chances of getting what you want. Another thing is what we do for this purpose. Dreaming and doing nothing - the strategy is really so-so, it is unlikely to bring results. But if you draw up a step-by-step plan for the realization of what you want and move in its direction, you can achieve a lot. And most likely, even if it turns out to fulfill only part of the plan, the result will still please. For example, if a person who wants to become a dollar millionaire becomes a ruble millionaire in the process, he is unlikely to be upset that he made efforts and did not stay on a salary of 15 thousand.
So, do you want too much? you can get a lot. Depends on what you'll be doing.
2. You can't pull a fish out of labor without labor
On the one hand, this phrase teaches us that sometimes you have to work hard to get something worthwhile. But she can lay the wrong installation: everything worthwhile is achieved at a high price. And if it was given to us easily, then there is some kind of catch.
Therefore, people can devalue their achievements. For example, a person can easily cope with his work. The boss praises and pays bonuses. The customer is satisfied and asks that only this employee interact with him. But our hero knows that he came to the goal without much difficulty. And in this place can grow impostor syndromewhen it seems that success is not the result of our efforts, but just a combination of circumstances. This means that soon everyone will find out the truth and be disappointed, or even punished. Because of this, a person lives in eternal fear instead of praising himself and enjoying the results of what he has done.
Not everything valuable comes to us hard and with suffering. It doesn't make it any less significant.
Another side disadvantage of the proverbial approach is to overestimate what is given to us in a hard fight. When something doesn’t work out, it seems that I’ll pull the line one more time, and the fish will appear above the surface. That is why we continue to try where it is high time to reel in fishing rods. For example, we stay in unhappy relationship. After all, if they do not work, it means that we have not worked hard enough.
It is worth remembering that sometimes the fish cannot be pulled out of the pond without difficulty, sometimes it jumps out of the water into the boat, and sometimes we do not like fish at all, and it is better to make efforts in the forest or in the supermarket.
3. Laugh a lot, cry a lot
Another folk wisdom that aims to protect us from the strong negative emotions. It seems that if you do not allow yourself to rejoice too much, then subsequent feelings associated with some kind of misfortune will not feel so destructive. Yes, and a bad omen: the universe will certainly take revenge. And in general, it’s worth having fun away from people - it’s better to be alone and under a blanket. And then they can envy and jinx it. Or write a denunciation there.
In fact, if there is a reason for joy, you should allow yourself to laugh, celebrate, rejoice. To be sad, if there is a reason, is also necessary. Because all emotions are important, and it is useful to live them, and not to block them. If you forbid yourself to rejoice, this will save little from frustration in the future. Because life is like that, it consists of ups and downs. Revenge of the universe and other elements magical thinking nothing here.
So do you laugh a lot? Maybe you will cry a lot, maybe not. It has nothing to do with the amount of joy.
4. No one is waiting for you there, no one needs you there
This phrase is said when someone is going, for example, to move. And often it is also pronounced not because they want the addressee to fail. Someone believes that it is impossible to change everything for the better. Someone is worried that a person will disappear from his life, and does not know how to find the best words to express it.
There is a particle of truth in this phrase. No one in a new place is waiting for us personally, still strangers. Outside the usual bubble, new challenges and obstacles will certainly arise that will have to be dealt with. But the world is inherently not as dangerous and hostile as accepted to represent. So today, in the conditional “there”, no one, perhaps, is waiting. But this is temporary until you make contacts and prove yourself.
In general, no one is waiting for you there, but this is normal and not forever.
5. Didn't live well, there's nothing to start
It happens that families in several generations are guided by this attitude. They learn to be content with little and reassure themselves that perhaps the children will live better. But at the same time they broadcast the same installation to them. As a result, neither children nor grandchildren simply know how to live differently - now, and not in the hope that the new generation will somehow master this skill.
And therefore, if you didn’t live well, then you should just try to start.
6. Teach your grandmother to suck eggs
In a hierarchical society, authority is strong, which is not necessarily earned by real achievements. For example, there is a setting that older means smarter, which suggests that a person's experience and wisdom depend on the year of birth. But this is not the case, younger people may have relevant knowledge and skills, but older people may not. Hierarchy can also interfere with an efficient workflow. For example, if the word of the boss is the law and it is forbidden to discuss work tasks with the boss. The subordinate can better understand some issue, and the discussion will help to find the best solution to the problem. Whereas the schemes proposed by the manager can lead at least to a waste of time.
That is, the chicken eggs may not be taught, but in human society, relevant experience and skills decide. So it is not necessary to listen to authorities if your decision seems right to you. But you also need to take responsibility for its consequences.
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