6 effective tactics for communicating with a know-it-all colleague
Miscellaneous / / July 25, 2023
Which one to choose depends on the reasons why a person behaves this way and why it can annoy you.
How to recognize a know-it-all colleague
Most of us have had to deal with such colleagues. They consider themselves the smartest, draw all the attention to themselves at general meetings and confidently talk about how to do it right, even if they are obviously wrong, they lack information or they are not aware of all the nuances situations.
Here are a few more signs of know-it-all colleagues:
- They establish a monopoly on any conversation and do not allow themselves to be interrupted, although they themselves do not hesitate to interrupt others.
- They do not listen to feedback and criticism.
- They speak in a condescending tone.
- They explain what others already understand.
- They rarely ask questions or show curiosity.
- They take credit for the team's success or don't acknowledge the contributions of others.
One of the reasons why know-it-alls are common in workplaces is because leaders encourage people to act like they know all the answers. If the company sees uncertainty as a weakness, if the decision-making process is more competitive than collaborative, then omniscience becomes a cunning survival tactic.
How to deal with such a colleague
If you want to make your working relationship with a know-it-all less annoying and disruptive, start by answering a few questions:
- Is he trying to prove something? Chances are good that your colleague's selfishness compensates for some of his shortcomings or fears. For example, some know-it-alls may constantly talk about their former meritto demonstrate your own value. If you notice this and will more often mention what contribution this person makes to the common cause, he will no longer need to constantly brag about his past achievements.
- Is his confidence justified? Perhaps he has good reasons for presumptuous statements and his claims are not unfounded, even if his behavior leaves much to be desired. Maybe his point of view is correct, and he just delivers it in a harsh manner?
- Are you prejudiced against him? Many of us are wary of people in power. And when one of them does not fit into our ideas about leader, we also think about how justified the trust placed in them. Perhaps the colleague you think of as a know-it-all belongs to the category of people you subconsciously have a prejudice against.
- Does his behavior throw you off balance? The more confidently someone stands up for his opinion, the more we can resist him, especially if it threatens our values. Maybe your reaction to the behavior of a know-it-all colleague has more to do with you than with him. For example, you might feel like a failure comparing yours to his, or you might wish you had the same unshakable confidence as him. Think about whether his behavior is really causing serious problems for you and the team, or is it just annoying. And try to find the difference between what you don't like and what bothers you work.
How to communicate with a know-it-all colleague
1. Appreciate everything it has to offer
You may have to dig deep to find them, but some genuine knowledge and valuable abilities may be hidden behind self-confidence. Of course, know-it-alls like to exaggerate their achievements, but try to find a grain of truth in the words of a colleague. If the sole purpose of his boasting is to get approval or recognition, your empathy and gratitude will help him change his behavior.
2. Don't let yourself be interrupted
Many know-it-alls have a terrible habit of constantly interrupt others. One way to deal with this is to warn about how much you will talk approximately, and ask you to refrain from any remarks during this time. For example: "Please do not comment or ask questions until I finish."
If you're not giving a presentation, but just leading a discussion, you can say something like this: "When I'm interrupted, I lose my concentration, so please let me finish."
3. Talk openly about what's bothering you
If a colleague interrupts you anyway, contact them directly. But don't raise your voice. Most likely, the know-it-all will start talking even louder, trying to outshout you. Instead, confidently say, “I will finish my thought, and then I will gladly hear your opinion.”
If you are not comfortable talking openly about the problem yourself, find allies. It is often easier for someone else to resist rudeness. For example: “I would like to listen to Katya” or “I don’t think that Maxim fully expressed his point of view.” If the know-it-all interrupts many colleagues, you can negotiate and stand up for each other when this happens.
4. Set the norm
Discuss and formulate with colleagues clear rules that will help to distribute roles more fairly during joint discussions and which everyone must follow. For example, not interrupting each other or listening to everyone's ideas before making a final decision. This will set a certain framework for behavior for a know-it-all colleague.
5. Request data and sources of information
Another irritating habit of know-it-alls is to throw in facts that come from nowhere: “Our customers expect we will add new features every six months", "Sales are falling because we are not fast enough to respond to complaints"," In a year, no one will talk about it. If you're wondering how a colleague knows all this, don't be afraid to ask them for specific information that will back up their claims.
At the same time, show respect. For example: “I'm not sure that we start from the same facts and assumptions. Let's check it out again." Even if the colleague doesn’t like it at first, in the future he will begin to wait for your clarifying questions and think twice before presenting something as absolute truth. In addition, asking him to explain how he knows all this can help him realize the limits of his knowledge and change his behavior.
When you go to a meeting with a know-it-all colleague, arm yourself with proven facts. The better prepared you are, the easier it will be for you to defend your point of view and refute unsupported statements.
6. Become a model of humility and open-mindedness
Many know-it-alls behave this way because it has always worked in the past, or because in a team, companies or the culture to which they belong were encouraged in one way or another to demonstrate confidence in yourself. You can suggest a different model of behavior by showing humility and breadth of vision.
For example, freely express your uncertainty: “I don’t know” or “I need to double-check this information.” When the know-it-all sees that this does not lead to any unpleasant consequences, he may begin to manifest himself in the same way.
To change the know-it-all behavior in meetings to be more humble, you can encourage colleagues to come to meetings after considering the pros and cons of the solutions or ideas they want to come up with. Or use another technique and ask him such questions: “What is the opposite point vision?”, “What if we look at the question from a different angle?”, “What are the advantages and disadvantages of this approach? flaws?".
Some know-it-alls crave recognition, so sometimes it's enough to note their ideas and thank them for sharing their thoughts, and then ask questions or express your opinion. For example: “Thank you, this is a very useful remark. I agree with the first part of what you said, but I see the second part a little differently. Let's discuss this."
Working with a know-it-all colleague is annoying at best, career-limiting at worst. But you don't have to sit back and suffer in silence. You can take steps to curb his bravado, or at least reduce the negative impact his behavior has on you and other employees.
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