5 unexpected questions that will help you put your life in order
Miscellaneous / / July 07, 2023
The answers to them will take some time, but they will bring clarity to the daily confusion with goals and objectives.
1. Why are you waiting for permission?
Sometimes we are visited by useful thoughts and ideas that could make our lives easier. But we hesitate and do nothing because we think we need explicit permission or an invitation. We may be tempted to ask for what we want, seek advice, and clear things up. But we are still slow.
To get started, try imagining someone giving you permission or making a suggestion to break the deadlock. For example:
- Your partner says: “Let's stop spending the weekend on household chores and order professional cleaning.
- Your doctor suggests, "Feel free to write to me if you have any questions."
- The company's website states, "If you don't find what you're looking for, contact us to see what we can do for you."
Draw in your imagination a similar picture as detailed and colorful as possible. If it seems reasonable and realistic to you, give yourself that permission yourself. Or think about what a confident person in your position would do.
2. Why do you lack confidence?
In some situations, we toss good ideas aside because we strive for absolute confidence that they will work. For example:
- "I won't try a new dish at this restaurant because I'm not sure I'll like it."
- “I don’t want to change doctors because I don’t know if the new one will be better.”
- "I'm hesitant to order cleaning because I doubt it will be done well enough or that I'll be comfortable with an outsider in my personal space."
But confidence will never come if we are always hesitant and afraid to experiment. If any option seems more appropriate and useful, try it and see what happens.
If you're not ready to act, promise yourself that you'll think about the situation for 24 hours, and then start implementing the best idea that comes to mind in that time.
3. Why do you need support?
Complete the statement: "My ideal version can do... without support, but my real version needs it."
Maybe your ideal self is able to work out in the gym without a coach, and the real "I" can not do without it. Or your ideal self doesn't need a tutor to learn English, while your real self needs one-on-one lessons of two hours a week.
Think about how you can give your real self the support it needs.
4. Why do you need a success story or role model?
When we don't know how to approach a situation, we become insecure and feel the need for a role model.
Imagine that you are 20 years old and you want To buy an apartment, but have no idea how to do it, and don't know a single 20-year-old who has done it. If you had a friend with a relevant experience, his story would give you strength and you would probably ask him about everything.
Once you have determined how the role model or story will help you overcome obstacles, you can start looking for the right people or explore alternative approaches.
5. How are you ruining your own life?
Complete one more statement: “I messed up my life when…”
Pay attention to the first thought that comes to your mind, and then try to accept that whatever you are obsessing over is not true. If that situation had not happened in reality, what would you do, for what would you find strength and opportunities in yourself?
Try to completely isolate yourself from intrusive thoughts that drag you down, convincing themselves that they are untenable. The point is not to objectively assess how true or false your thoughts are. The main thing is to observe how your feelings and actions change when you apply this approach and stop perceiving your thoughts as unconditionally corresponding to reality.
Read also🧐
- What to do with your life when there are no ideas at all
- How to organize your life in 10 steps
- 5 simple ideas that will turn your life upside down