6 signs you're trying to build a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person

At the very beginning of a relationship, it can be quite difficult to understand what feelings a person has for us. We may be hindered by the awkwardness of communication or mixed signals, when we see either clear sympathy or complete indifference. It becomes even more difficult when a potential partner ends up emotionally unavailable. We can spend months or even years wooing him until we finally realize that he just doesn't want a relationship.

We often confuse manifestations of emotional unavailability with mystery, excitement and chemistry. first datesth. Here are a few signs that will help you distinguish one from the other and avoid bitter disappointment in the long run.

1. You rarely receive attention

And you enthusiastically accept even the smallest manifestations of affection, which in other circumstances would not have been given much importance. This happens because of emotional "hunger", and this situation is called "bredcrambing

». This is a game of feelings, when a person periodically renders minimal signs of attention, which enough to keep you hooked, but not enough to satisfy your needs relationships.

Every time such a partner writes a message or calls for a meeting, you may think: “Here it is, finally they pay attention to me.” But the next moment he just disappears and ignores you again.

Remember that if someone is truly interested in you and your relationship, you will definitely receive more than one message a week or a "light" in the story.

2. You are the initiator of communication

Since communication with an emotionally unavailable person is inconsistent and inconsistent, you may to react to any message from him as if they had won the lottery. Even if it's just a "hello". But let's be honest: you clearly deserve better and don't deserve to dwell on that lonely "hello".

You may also notice that your attempts to start a conversation quickly fizzle out, because the interlocutor gives monosyllabic answers. When we are infatuated with someone, we easily make up excuses for why this happens and believe that it has nothing to do with us personally. In fact, everything is extremely simple: if someone wants to communicate with you, he will probably do so.

3. You abandon your plans for meetings

An emotionally unavailable person often seems "very busy" and only offers to see you spontaneously, without warning, without discussing plans with you in advance. And you drop everything and immediately run to such meetings or adjust your schedule to the schedule of a guy or a girl in the hope that this will allow you to spend more time together. But spontaneity alarm signal, which may mean that you are just an "alternate airfield".

4. You can’t understand a person and changes in his mood in any way.

He does not reveal enough information about himself and seems to be a mysterious person, which adds spice to the relationship. Some mystery is harmless and intriguing, but if you understand that you will never comprehend this “secret” and you don’t know how a person treats you, the relationship can turn into an unpleasant trip to emotional rollercoaster.

It is likely that a person himself does not understand what he wants and what he feels. But if you take your time to understand it, it won't help anyone. Better to step aside and let him figure things out on his own. If he refuses a relationship with you, this is only his problem.

5. You imagine a life together, but dreams seem unrealistic

While you have not yet taken a firm place in a person's life, you can spend a lot of time dreaming about the moment when he will finally choose you. But these fantasies are probably rather vague and confusing, because nothing really happens.

There is nothing wrong with dreams, but you should not associate them with a person who from time to time gives you hope for joint futureand then takes it away. Instead of imagining unrealistic scenarios and getting frustrated that they are unlikely to come true, switch your energy to planning for a realistic future. And it doesn't matter if this person is a part of it or not.

6. You keep asking someone to help you decipher a person's behavior

Since you are unable to understand what is the meaning of his actions and why they do not always correspond to his words, you can send screenshots of correspondence to friends and relatives with the question: “What do you think this means?” When a person's responses range from enthusiastic to indifferent, any little thing allows for many interpretations. All this is very exhausting.

If you have to analyze every word or interaction to gain confidence in anything, it sounds like the person is not ready or willing to be honest with you and give you their time. Perhaps your time would be better given to someone else who won't make you wonder if he needs you or not.