How to talk to your boss if you don't want to work with a co-worker

The idea behind the popular sitcom The Office is, in fact, that a very strange crowd of people can form in the working environment, who would hardly communicate in ordinary life. Sometimes this leads to unexpected friendships, and sometimes to conflicts.

When personal values, collaborative styles, personality traits, and work approaches are aligned, a fruitful atmosphere is created. Any team project becomes easy, and you go to work with a sincere desire to see your colleagues again.

But if you are in serious conflict with someone from the team on each project and attempts to find a common language do not lead to anything, this is not only bad affects on your productivity, but also provokes stress. Let's figure out why quarrels happen in the workplace, when to sound the alarm, and how to talk to management so as not to compromise yourself and harm your reputation.

Why do conflicts happen at work?

With some people we have single quarrels, and with someone conflict situations arise constantly. This can happen for several reasons.

1. Limited opportunities

In a highly competitive workplace, collaboration is rarely encouraged. If you constantly compete with one of your colleagues for the same career advancement opportunities, over time the competition can develop into personal dislike and envy. Especially if only one person gets the “tidbit” in the end. In this case, you can even consider each other enemies.

2. Difference of characters

Of course, not all colleagues are nice to us. But when you have to work with someone you just don't like, it's a good opportunity to exercise your patience and ability. focus on the task before you.

Sometimes personal conflicts that arise because of the difference in character are aggravated by personal problems. And if you have a long history of constant skirmishes with a certain colleague that are not directly related to professional tasks, it will be very difficult to work together and this is a good reason to ask for a transfer.

3. Contrasting approaches to work

Everyone has their own method and style of accomplishing tasks. Someone postpones everything until the last minute and barely manages to meet the deadline, someone prefers to carefully plan everything and not rely on chance. Some are used to doing everything on their own, others like to work in close collaboration. Most are somewhere in between.

Another situation in which conflicts can easily arise is distant work. When you communicate with someone exclusively online, the risk of misunderstandings increases significantly. If you're at odds with a remote employee or a freelancer who occasionally works for your company because of different approaches, resolving issues can be even more difficult.

The values ​​of some colleagues will always be diametrically opposed to yours. And this is where the ability to share fundamental differences that you can continue to work with and that will always get in the way comes in handy.

When to contact your boss

Here are a few specific signs that indicate that disagreements are becoming a serious problem and that you have a good enough reason to start addressing the issue at the leadership level:

• Conflicts with a colleague lead to a decline in productivity and have a bad effect on the quality of your work, for example, you miss deadlines or make mistakes in work projects.
• You have already tried to directly resolve the issue, started a conversation with a colleague about what you are not happy with, and wanted to discuss the problem, but the situation has not changed.
• A colleague interferes not only with you, but also with other employees, his behavior undermines the morale in the team, leads to a split and does not allow you to stick to a working strategy.
• Colleague behaves inappropriately - makes inappropriate comments, humiliates and poisons youallows himself sexual harassment.

How to discuss a problem with your boss

1. Stay Objective

Speak about the situation calmly, clearly and clearly, using a professional tone of voice. Try to avoid personal attacks and complaints. Instead, point out the specific actions of a colleague that have negatively impacted your productivity and well-being in the workplace. Real examples of destructive employee behavior will allow boss understand your point of view and understand the problem.

2. Strive to find a specific solution

Direct the conversation in such a way that you and your boss can come up with a workable solution that works for everyone. Make it clear that you are handling conflict in a respectful and balanced manner and with the best interests of the company in mind. Take the initiative and offer your options for the manager to consider. Focusing on specific solutions rather than fixing on problems can help you find a way out faster.

3. Get ready to negotiate

Your boss may not be able to solve the case the way you want. And in order to come up with a more feasible plan of action, you will have to compromise. For example, instead of transferring you or a colleague you don't like to another department, a manager can bring in a neutral third party to help you resolve conflicts.

4. Consider the needs of your boss

Remember that one of the tasks of the leader is to support the entire team, so finding an acceptable solution is also in his interests. First, you can enlist the support of the HR manager or the head of your department, and only then contact the higher-ups directly.

When you know it's definitely time to talk, use the communication method your boss usually prefers. explain problem by phone, send an e-mail or make an appointment in person.

Working with a colleague you don't like can be a real challenge. But when you're evaluating whether or not to bring in leadership, it's important to remember that we're all human. And no matter how much an employee annoys you, you see only part of the picture and cannot know what is happening in his life and what difficulties he has to face.

However, if the situation gets out of hand and harms your productivity, mental and emotional well-being, be sure to contact your HR manager or boss to correct situation. Remember that you are a professional and direct your efforts towards achieving a result that everyone will be happy with and that will allow you all to work in a more peaceful, healthy and productive atmosphere.