How I Looked for Tinder Scammers (and Found!)

Tinder promised to leave from Russia by June 30th. But a holy place is never empty, so the audience will probably just switch to other sites and applications. This means that scammers with their schemes will also move. So, even though this text is about Tinder, the observations from it can be useful on other sites.

Why I Followed Tinder Scammers

Before this experiment, I had never used dating sites and applications. Not for any ethical reasons, there was simply no reason: we met early with my husband. The paths of friends in such services were also mostly prosperous: the guys went on a few dates, and then met someone with whom they closely communicated, got married, and so on.

Accordingly, the scammers from Tinder were also something far away for me, those whom we learn about from the documentary of the same name. movies on Netflix. It shows how an Israeli scammer pretended to be the son of a billionaire and extorted money from women who thought they were building a relationship with him. Such stories are impressive, but let's face it, many are motivated to sit up against the background of the victims: I would never fall for this bait. Although everything is much more complicated.

The idea to go “into the field” and see how things are with the scammers has matured for a long time. But it seemed like it would be a waste of time. After all, it is unlikely that there are so many scammers. What are the chances of stumbling upon them and not just regular guys who don't do anything illegal? So I kept the thought in RAM, but did nothing.

And then I went to Malaysia and started meeting people there - mostly expats. And they suffered from loneliness. I asked: “What about Tinder?” And in response, I received complaints about scammers. For example, one guy admitted that he went on a date with a girl - and she sold him insurance and disappeared. Many people talked about scammers, so it became clear that there are a lot of them in the dating service. So I went hunting.

Created a truthful profile - with your photos, a short and simple description. And started.

(Next, I use screenshots with text in English, which I have a limp. So let's forgive my mistakes. I did my best, so to speak.)

How I found scammers on Tinder

History one, cryptocurrency

It was one of my first matches. The guy looked great, he wrote the first one, after the exchange of greetings on duty, we switched to WhatsApp. At the beginning of the conversation, we discussed who works for whom, who likes to eat what, and so on. And soon the young man turned to the fact that he is an IT specialist, but he earns mainly by investing in cryptocurrency and that I should also try.

I realized that I smelled fried, so at first I turned on the fool, said that I was not very interested. We continued to communicate. He always wrote first, but not to say that our conversation was deep. Periodically, he returned to the topic of cryptocurrency, using different manipulation:

• “You write about money, I address you as an investor to an investor.”
• “I care about you, I want you to live better.”
• “The rich are rich because they are not afraid to take risks.”
• "I'm sad that you're not investing."

One day I realized that it was time to close the shop, and wrote that he was putting too much pressure on me about investing. Isn't he a scammer? He expectedly wrote: "You don't trust me, let's stop». And I thought: “Come on!” - and banned him with a clear conscience.

It would seem that the very conversations about cryptocurrencies are enough to see a red flag the size of a stadium in them. But there were others. For example, he immediately gave me a link to his Instagram *, wrote that he had a lot of subscribers - as many as 500 and he knows everyone personally. However, under the photos there were zero comments and a couple of likes. A live account with real people doesn't work that way.

Also, according to legend, he lived nearby. But he did not at all seek to meet - more precisely, he said that he had a day off in a month on a weekday. Because he works a lot, but thanks to this he is rich. And in general, it might sound reasonable - many of us know what it's like to work hard and have the strength in the evening only for an anxious crawl to the pillow. However, this was at odds with other messages: it was rather not time, but desire. Then why this romance in letters? There were other, more general points, but about them a little later, when we summarize.

By the way, I later met cryptocurrency princes more than once, but the divorce schemes are very similar, so there is no point in repeating. However, there is a feeling that this fraud has territorial differences. Judging by what my fellow Tinder regulars say, it works differently in Russia. Swindlers write, for example, that they have a friend who, for a small fee, will come up with a cool strategy, like To invest money and receive 25% profit. However, then the victim is taken to the same cryptocurrency exchange. Perhaps this approach is due to the fact that in the Russian Federation, many people know about cryptocurrencies superficially, so if you talk about them directly, it will scare you away. Therefore, they act a little from afar. But this is just a guess.

The second story, festive

The next gentleman immediately admitted that he lives in the USA, but is looking for love all over the world. What made me pay attention to numberto which WhatsApp is registered. Google told me that with some probability he was American, but suspicion still said: “We take this one.” Didn't disappoint.

We corresponded for a very long time without any hint of fraud. But I still doubted, so I paid attention to some signals:

• Time zone difference. According to legend, he lived near New York, we were separated by 12 hours. Judging by the time when the interlocutor sent messages, or he had a strange mode, or he was somewhere else.
• Language. I am not a great expert in English. But even I understand when the language looks natural and when it doesn't. The guy previously wrote that he was born and raised in the States. But his phrases were often as if they were passed through an automatic translator.
• Photos. He periodically sent them, but they also seemed not natural. Because the average person, when he wants to send a picture "in the moment", takes a selfie. And I got good quality portrait photos. Of course, people are different, but I considered this a coin in the treasury of suspicion.
• Units of measurement. And again to the question of naturalness: if a person who grew up in the States uses kilometers, kilograms and degrees Celsius, and not miles, pounds and Fahrenheit, there are questions.

In general, I cautiously waited for when we will move on to the main thing. And then one day he said that he bought me gifts for Christmas, and asked address. And the ends met. I was going to move out of this place in a few days, so I didn't risk anything - showed enthusiasm, reported the address and sat down to wait, how events would unfold further and for what I would be offered to give money.

A couple of days later, my "lover" wrote that the parcel was almost with me, but I might have to pay customs duty. And by “coincidence”, an “employee” of the transport company immediately wrote to me in the messenger, who notified me of the need to transfer money. Moreover, the guys did not waste time on trifles, they immediately asked for $ 1,000, which is funny. Because even if I was already up to my ears in love and/or fiercely hankered for other people's gifts, 1,000 bucks is 1,000 bucks. A lot, actually.

But the quest was completed, so I banned both accounts, but this time with a complaint of fraud.

Story three, dubious

With this acquaintance, we did not reach anything concrete, but I will tell you anyway, because I see here the potential for fraud in two ways at once. So, we begin to correspond with a person from South Korea. At first he said that he was raising a little daughter alone. His wife was a doctor but died during the coronavirus pandemic. I decided that the guy would play this card and sooner or later "get into a difficult situation" and ask for financial assistance. But no.

Then mine companion He told me that he owned an online store and asked if I would like to open my own. I thought, "This is it." However, he reacted calmly to my refusal and did not return to this topic again. The bet didn't work either.

Perhaps I myself am to blame, as I was not very involved in the conversation and looked hopeless for this type of divorce. Or maybe this is really an honest widower who was looking for a relationship. In that case, it is a pity, of course, this good man. But we do not write it off from the accounts, because both schemes are quite flourishing in social networks.

What should alert you when dating online

As I mentioned above, there were not three stories, but many more. And they all looked alike, like happy families, according to Tolstoy's idea. Here are the signs to look out for.

Photos

Fraudsters often use pictures of very attractive people who steal on social networks for their profiles. They are then sent in a personal. But this does not mean that you need to write off all the handsome men. Because in the course of the experiment, I found real men on Tinder who were good to everyone and looked like cover models. The point is different.

Surely there are high-level scammers who steal photos filigree. But many do not bother much, so you can often guess that the pictures are taken from other people's profiles. For example, if a person sends you square cards over and over, chances are they'll screenshot them on someone's Instagram*. One smart guy sent me a picture at all, on which the nickname of the author of the account was indicated in small letters. But no one thinks that scammers become only geniuses, right?

Fast Approach and Love Bombing

The swindler rushes ahead. Pretty quickly, he will begin to call you gentle nicknames (including, probably, because he does not remember the name), report that he misses you and that he feels the potential in this relationship. He will definitely say that he is only looking for something serious. Scammers create the appearance of concern: they write that you take care of yourself, that you do not forget to eat, that you do not spend so much time on work, and so on. throw compliments. It’s obvious why this is being done: it’s easy to refuse anything to a random dude from Tinder, it’s more difficult to refuse someone with whom something supposedly connects you.

The deceiver will constantly loom in the background in your day. It seems like you are constantly texting, and it's addictive. However, upon closer examination, one can understand that the conversation, in general, is about nothing. Endless wishes of good morning and good night, discussion of the menu and daily activities and so on. And almost no attempts to get to know you as a person. Which is understandable: there can be many victims at the same time, so the messages must be universal.

Demonstration of successful success

There are schemes in which the swindler puts pressure on pity: he allegedly got into trouble, and he urgently needs help. I have not met such people (except for a widower with a daughter, who is in question). The strategies of my scammers assumed that they were very successful, and this was demonstrated in every possible way. Expensive accessories in the photographs, stories about huge earnings, travel - all this was present in large quantities. Of course, there are pontorez and those who think that a woman can attract only welfare. And they can appear similar. But as if all of them are of little interest, so the protrusion of wealth in any case should alert.

Unwillingness / inability to meet

The identity of the fraudster is fictitious, and therefore it is impossible to see him. Perhaps you separated by kilometers, or maybe he is very busy or just invites you on a date, and then cancels it under some pretext. Which is understandable, because the goal is different.

I have no statistics on this, but it seems that there are not so many fans of the purely epistolary genre. Usually, if you like someone, you want to meet him - in order to at least understand whether the person looks like in the photographs. If there are kilometers between you, there are calls via video call. But the protracted correspondence is an alarming symptom.

Why You Shouldn't Snuggle Up Against the Background of Victims

While I was investigating, I constantly thought if I myself could fall for such a divorce. In the current psycho-emotional state and specifically in these stories, it is unlikely, and this is not exactly my merit, but rather some experience and personal qualities that can work both as a bug and as a feature.

Firstly, I value my money very much and do not part with it so easily. Sometimes I can seriously consider buying some kind of yogurt. For dubious investment, my toad will strangle me on the outskirts. Secondly, I have trust issues, so I perceive lovebombing and fast rapprochement more as a danger: why are people pushing so hard? What do they want from me? Thirdly (and most importantly!), I initially went hunting for scammers, so I purposefully looked for traps.

But the situation could be different. Suppose I would have been looking for a relationship for a long time and desperately by this point. I would have exhausting loneliness behind me and bad experience dating. Perhaps from this point, the appearance of someone who is so interested in me would be perceived differently. I think in such a situation, I would like to attribute some suspicious behavior to cultural differences or to the fact that my interlocutor is such a person. Some rapprochement somehow works, because even in the situations described above, I still wanted to think that I was wrong every time.

And the scammers could be smarter. Our correspondence was swift and simple as a stick, designed for a quick divorce. But, as we know from the same Tinder Scam, there are other guys. They have more meaningful conversations, imitate relationships, even meet their victims. True, there is more damage. But it is easy to imagine that it is even more difficult to refuse a person with whom you are in a full-fledged relationship, because trust has already been formed.

Of course, it's nice to think that you're so special and that's why you won't get caught, not like these stupid victims. But the truth is that anyone can be in their place. All that can be done to minimize the risks is not to overestimate the concept of relationships, work on boundaries, and be mindful of yourself. I think many people know how to hear alarm bells, even if they cannot yet clearly articulate what is bothering them. But often we drown them out because we don’t want to offend anyone or until the last we hope for a better outcome. But who will take care of us (and our money) better than ourselves.

Have you encountered scammers on dating sites? Share in the comments.

*Meta Platforms Inc. activities. and its social networks Facebook and Instagram are prohibited in the territory of the Russian Federation.