How to find emotional stability and enjoy life more

What is emotional stability

In the 1970s, psychologists created personality assessment model, which was called the "Big Five". It includes five traits: extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism.

The opposite of the Big Five neuroticism is emotional stability. It is determined by the frequency and intensity negative emotionsthat we are experiencing. The higher its level, the better we cope with negative feelings, such as fear, anger, sadness or anxiety. This does not mean that an emotionally stable person experiences more pleasant emotions. He experiences fewer unpleasant ones and manages them effectively when they arise.

It is important to understand that all of the Big Five traits, including neuroticism, are part of a spectrum. So most of us are somewhere in the middle between emotional stability and neuroticism.

How emotional stability is related to enjoying life

In March 2023, scientists published results of a multi-year study. Its participants, aged 16 to 95, filled out questionnaires that assessed how satisfied they were with their social relationships. Based on the data obtained, experts studied which traits of the Big Five correlated with a sense of more satisfaction from life.

Previous observations have already shown that people who score high on extraversion, openness to experience, and agreeableness are more satisfied with their lives at different stages of life than those who score lower on these scores. The authors of the new study focused on how the Big Five traits affect people throughout their lives.

Scientists proceeded from the assumption that in youth and in old age we have different social roles and tasks. For example, higher levels of extraversion are associated with greater satisfaction at a young age because this trait helps make friends. And as they grow older, openness to experience and emotional stability begin to have a more noticeable effect, as many create families and social relationships are fixed.

But the study also found that despite changing roles and circumstances, the most emotionally stable people experienced a stronger sense of satisfaction throughout life. At the same time, more conscientious participants got more pleasure from work, and participants with more high levels of agreeableness and extraversion were more likely than others to be satisfied with their social connections. In addition, people who gradually developed and strengthened these personality traits experienced greater job and job satisfaction. relationships with others.

How to improve emotional stability

Research showthat our character is genetically determined to some extent. However, we can change our personality if we form and maintain the right habits until we start doing them effortlessly.

At the same time, each person has his own starting point. You may not be as emotionally stable as the people around you, but you can figure out what works best for you and practice those skills. For example, in the following ways.

Use a "bucket of stress"

Imagine that you carry a bucket with you, which gradually fills up throughout the day - every time you experiencing stress. Some events, such as a serious conversation with a loved one that makes you a little anxious, add quite a bit of weight to the bucket. Others, such as a large work project that needs to be completed in two days, on the contrary, fill the bucket to the brim.

For people who are good at coping with stress, a bucket of improved version is with a faucet. It helps to regulate the volume of contents, that is, the internal level of stress. Think about what could be such a “faucet” for you. When you understand what exactly helps you alleviate stress, you will begin to better cope with strong feelings and become more stable emotionally.

Take care of yourself

One of the many effective ways to deal with stress is to maintain strong social connections - surround yourself with loved ones and communicate with them more often. In addition, even such basic things as time spent outdoors, delicious food or healthy sleeping mode, help to empty the "bucket of stress" and feel better.

Start new habits

The behaviors and practices you plan to implement in your life to change your personality must be realistic and doable. For example, if you want meditate, do not immediately start with 30-minute sessions. Focus on simple exercises and do them for five minutes at first, and then gradually increase the time.

The challenge is to focus as much as possible on the new habit and practice it mindfully. In the case of meditation, first of all, it is important to listen to your body, look for points of tension and observe sensations. If you begin to set additional conditions for yourself, such as meditating at a certain time or in a certain place, this will prevent you from making a healthy habit a part of your life.