36 ways to live differently

If you want to make your life better, you will inevitably have to change something in it. Some changes will come easily, others will take time and effort. But in order to start thinking outside the box and living differently, it is important not to stop and constantly explore and try new ideas and practices. For example, here are these:

1. Recognize the hidden rules of life. These are unspoken norms that we must comply with, and when we refuse, we cause disapproval of others. If you want to bring some fun into your life, start breaking these rules and see how people react. For example, answer the on-duty question “How are you?” as honestly as possible.
2. Take notes. There is no universal method, but you can find the system that works best for you and use it every day. If you don't write anything down, you will forget most of what you have learned. To remember new information, repeat it regularly at short intervals.
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3. Maintain independent thinking. Choose a group of people who are close to you on political, religious, national and other issues, and then analyze where you disagree with them. You won't learn to think for yourself if you take sides without learning the pros and cons.
4. Separate memories of the event from the event itself. Our memory is biased. For example, we are much more likely to remember highlights associated with intense experiences and ignore everything else, even if the experience was more typical.
5. Don't strive for "balance". Unperturbed balanced people do not change the world and are not of particular interest. Stay yourself. Embrace your ups and downs. Live.
6. Distinguish between what is controllable and what is not. When you stop worrying about what you can't control, you will eliminate a lot of reasons for concern.
7. Allow yourself small pleasant purchases. Think of the little things that bring you pleasure and allow yourself to spend money on them without feeling guilty. Do not listen to experts who advise you to save money by giving up a cup of coffee. Small purchases will not affect your long-term financial goals, but they can affect your mood here and now.
8. Make big purchases consciously. Sometimes a new car is really needed, and sometimes replacing it every few years becomes a habit. If you're thinking about buying something but can't explain how it will make your life easier and better, think again.
9. Understand the principle of loss aversion. He saysthat our fear of losing something is usually much stronger than our desire to gain something. Keep this in mind when considering risks and making choices. Sometimes playing it safe is the riskiest thing you can do.
10. Listen to bodily sensations. As you make a difficult decision and consider different options, pay attention to how you physically react to each one. Do not try to connect the mind - listen only to the body.
11. Give up any attempt to please other people. Especially for those whose expectations are constantly changing - this will only make you feel constantly anxious.
12. Show selfish generosity. Being a good person usually means being happy. Try to do something nice for someone every day.
13. Use tools that help you learn new things every day. For example, read non-fiction articles or summaries non-fiction books.
14. Give up the pursuit of high status. If you are doing something just because it is prestigious, quit this activity and think about what you are really interested in.
15. Notice the unspoken rules of a relationship. Think about what your partner wants and how you can improve the relationship. Learn about the habits and needs of the people around you. This will help build pleasant and effective communication.
16. Surround yourself with fun people. Some people are naturally uplifting and energizing. Spend more time with them, and less time with dull and unpleasant ones.
17. Make time for training. Physical activity may not be very pleasant, but it allows you to stay strong and healthy. During the exercises, try to think about how you will feel after you finish doing them. AND simplify yourself a task. For example, put things in a gym bag and leave it in the hallway on the eve of going to the gym.
18. Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is the cornerstone of suffering. Get rid of this habit, and become a little happier.
19. Don't watch what you don't like. If you can't stop watching the show, great. But if you wouldn't give it a 9 out of 10 and keep watching because everyone is talking about it, stop wasting your precious time on it.
20. Maintain a list of beliefs. Write down everything you think is true and update the list as you go. are changing your views.
21. Stick to a schedule. Follow it most of the time, but break it completely from time to time. Both are necessary for success. Ambitious people live pretty boring lives: they know what to do and focus on it completely. But if you do this all the time, you risk getting stuck in one place. Yes, balance is important here.
22. Remember the formula for luck. Lucky chance = luck + action. That is, in order to have more luck in life, you need to be more active, and literally. For example, go for walks and climb stairs more often. As soon as an idea appears, turn it into an action plan and start working on it.
23. Look for different ways to achieve the goal. There is almost always more than one way to get what you want. Often alternatives are easier, faster, cheaper, or simply more efficient.
24. Give up. There is always a way out of any situation. Sometimes it means you have to quit everything. Don't be afraid to change your mind if you don't like something - you have the right to change your mind. And don't regret sunk costs. Real winners always give up.
25. Break the limits for yourself and for others. Sometimes people set and impose limits on others for no reason, but only to protect their power. Try your best to fight it.
26. Build relationships based on shared values, not shared beliefs. If you are in "bubble”, where you are surrounded exclusively by people with the same views on all important issues, it will not hurt you to expand your social circle.
27. Do not use social networks as a source of news. And in general, spend as little time as possible there.
28. Don't get hung up on one system. You don't have to wake up at 6 a.m. every day, meditate for 10 minutes, don't check email before lunch, or follow other productivity rules that successful people follow. Determine what conditions you work best in and create them.
29. Treat everyone with understanding. Even when interacting with people who annoy you, remember that everyone has experienced trauma and heartache. And if not yet, sooner or later it will happen anyway.
30. Develop emotional intelligence.mindfulness and empathy are not innate.
31. Learn to resolve conflicts. Ask yourself: do you want to be right or to be free? You can only choose one thing. The main rule of negotiations is that the one who worries the most, loses. If you are ready to drop everything and walk away, you are always in a better position.
32. Explore your personality. For example, to pass psychological tests to determine personality type or level of emotional intelligence. And although you should not take your own results too seriously, they may tell you something interesting about you.
33. Understand the role of the ego in your life. You don't need to suppress it. Better try to identify the moments when it makes you make bad decisions.
34. Don't change for others and don't expect others to change for you. Most people make either one or the other mistake, so they are often disappointed.
35. Make a plan of action for a critical situation. What will you do if you lose your job? And if all your savings depreciate? When you think of such hypothetical scenarios, you become stronger.
36. Be kinder. Kindness available to everyone. You don't need to learn or have special skills for this, but it gives an instant positive effect.

In the end, it all comes down to three simple things. First, there is always something to learn. Secondly, you can always do something. Third, there is always a way to be kind.

Constant learning develops and improves you, active choice helps you live differently, and kindness can brighten up someone's everyday life and at the same time make you happier. When in doubt, think about these three points and decide what to do next.