10 phrases that will help strengthen relationships
Miscellaneous / / April 19, 2023
Simple words, which for some reason we often forget.
Scientists from Harvard in a study that lasted more than 80 years, established: open, sincere relationships help us feel happy and improve health. And the most accessible way to build mutual understanding and build trust is not to be silent. Talk directly about what you think, feel, what you value, and what you would like to change. These phrases will help you.
1. We'll get through this
Options: “I am with you”, “I am on your side”, “We are together” and other phrases that show: no matter what happens, you will support your partner.
When something unexpected and unpleasant happens, anyone can get confused and feel vulnerable. If a loved one is in such a state, you should not reproach him, and even more so demand to immediately pull yourself together and act. Everyone sometimes needs time to realize what happened and gather strength.
For example, the boss announced that the department where your partner works is going to be laid off next month, so it's time to look for a new job. You should not advise immediately subscribe to all channels with vacancies and start sending resumes today. The time for action will definitely come, but later. And today, a loved one needs support. It is important for him to feel that he is not experiencing what happened alone and can rely on you.
2. Thank you
Options: “Thank you, this is exactly what I need now”, “How grateful I am to you / grateful that you remember even the little things”, “Thank you, it was very timely.”
Words thanks will sound even more convincing if you say what exactly you are grateful to your partner for. This will help he will better understand your needs and make the relationship more trusting.
Saying "Thank you for caring" is nice too. But here is another phrase, more specific: “Thank you for bringing me a thermos of tea. A sip of something hot is exactly what I needed.” It shows that you value not abstract care, but are grateful for every act. And do not think that the default partner should do something good for you.
3. I'm sorry
Options: “I was wrong / wrong”, “Sorry for brushing off / brushing aside your warnings”, “Sorry, I behaved / acted ugly.”
We all make mistakes at some point, and it is important to show that we are able to admit that we were wrong. Letting the other know that we are ready to look at ourselves critically will not make us weak in their eyes. On the contrary, it will show that we are not afraid to be open and vulnerable. This means it will help build trust.
4. It makes me sad
Options: “It hurts me when you say that”, “I feel lonely when you forget to call”, “I really miss our conversations in the evenings.”
If tensions arose in a relationship, it is better to immediately discuss the situation. But not in the form of a scandal, without accusations and generalizations.
Phrases: “You always think only of yourself! I don’t understand why we are still together!” will not help resolve the conflict. They will force the partner to go on the defensive, and in this state, people are unlikely to be able to agree. Silence, too, will only complicate the situation.
Try to calmly communicate what is upsetting you and why it is important for you to fix it. Worth using i-messages, that is, to speak only about their emotions. For example: “When you silently leave dirty dishes in the sink, I get upset. I feel like a kitchen maid. If you do not have time to wash, please warn me. But I, if I hurry, will do the same.
5. I want to understand you
Options: “I’m really trying to figure out why we are arguing”, “It’s important for me to understand why you are sad”, “I don’t care what your mood is.”
Perhaps your partner is worried or unhappy about something. The first thought is that it's all about your relationship with him. But maybe something else is bothering him: trouble at work, problems with friends or relatives. Or is he just having a difficult period that requires serious change in life. It happens that a person himself cannot formulate what worries him, or does not know how to start a difficult conversation.
It is worth showing that you value not only your emotional comfort, but also the well-being of your loved one. And we are ready to go to meet him.
6. It hurts me a lot that we quarreled
Sometimes it is difficult to immediately formulate what does not suit you in a conflict situation. Or agree that you were wrong and should have done differently. Maybe you are hurt and can not cope with resentment or disappointment. But you don’t want to be silent either - all of a sudden it will alienate you even more from each other.
In this case, you can simply admit that it is bad for you to be in a quarrel. If you want to build rapport, just say so. Reconcile right away, maybe not. But the first, most difficult step towards building relationships you will take.
7. Let's find a solution together
You have reported everything that worries you. Partner also showed how the situation looks from his point of view. But you both do not yet know how to overcome the conflict.
A good way is to offer to look for a way out together. Maybe the option that suits both will not appear immediately. But you will definitely get to know each other better, you will understand what is important to the other, you will be able to look at your position from his side. So, you will take another important step towards mutual understanding.
8. I miss you
Options: “I need / need you”, “I really appreciate our relationship”, “I feel bad without you.”
Sometimes it seems that there is no need to say such words. After all, the other already understands that if you are together, then you need each other. But sometimes it is worth repeating even the obvious things. Reminding your partner that you value your relationship means making it even stronger.
9. I care what you think about it
Options: "I would like to hear your opinion", "I wonder what you would do / did in such a situation."
Adults will always have different views on some things. This is great because it helps to look at the situation from different points of view and not miss important details. For example, you may be delighted that your boss promised to increase your salary by 20%, and not notice that the responsibilities will almost double. And a partner who sees the situation from the outside will show you where the catch is.
Sometimes it is worth asking another what he sees with his points of view. This will help you not to make a mistake and will definitely strengthen mutual understanding.
10. give me a hug
Option: "Let me hug you."
Scientists establishedthat touching and hugging lowers cortisol levels and helps to cope with stress faster. Physical contact helps even when words are powerless.
This effect is especially pronounced in women. But it also becomes easier for men if they feel with their skin that a loved one is nearby. Therefore, do not hesitate to ask your partner to hug you. He may not notice that right now not only verbal support is important to you, but also physical contact.
If it seems to you that the partner is vulnerable and he, too, will not interfere with strong hugs, tell him about it. Maybe he does not want to look weak and is not ready to ask for support. But he will be glad if you yourself take a step forward.
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